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1.5k · May 2012
Lucid Dreams of You
Kayla May 2012
I dreamt of you last night
In lucid colors. I was operative
When you asked me for a kiss,
I could decide whether to kiss you back or not
And I can't even say that's true in reality
But when I dreamt of you we even had a satisfying talk
We talked in ways that we have not,
Since the bright, bright yellow days
I was truthful, You were truthful
Listening comfortably like the libra you are
"You have a jaw I could write a poem about"
I said to you
"Will you do it please, and give it to me?"
In my head I'm thinking baby you don't know how many poems I have
Dedicated to you
In my little red notebook that symbolizes the red I feel for you
And that's when my dream is gone
Maybe it's my memory that's too strong
The simple thought of you is too straining on the mind
To be relaxed enough for sleep
1.2k · Jun 2012
Addressed to you
Kayla Jun 2012
Always coming back around like the first rainstorm of April
you sound like thunder
and you're
the acid rain on my parade
this one is for you
you and those broken-hearted eyes
that look right through me
but why?
Why do they do that when you know,
they don't want to
And why do you have to leave this early,
when you know you don't want to
I need a piece of you, not too big---but not too small
that I can hold onto when you're not here
so I won't withdraw
and live my life to it's fullest
like you already have and you already are
it seems--
I won't let you go
I can't let you go
but if I could...
we might both prosper
and be unique, different, and excited
and maybe one day you might come back around
as the first tulip in May
it's time I do let go
I can keep holding on
but I will not
1.2k · Apr 2012
Neurotic
Kayla Apr 2012
My heart feels light and full of heat,
My stomach has turned into a billion knots
My hands tremble, and my legs shake in my seat
Oh, how well the body mimics our thoughts
976 · May 2012
Potential
Kayla May 2012
I get out of your bed with the fire escape on my mind,
First I must put on my clothes. But I have to do it beautifully
The tables have turned, It looks like I’m headed out early
Rather than you seeing me out, walking me to my car
“You’re leaving?” you say, “This early?”

I make up a horrible excuse, halfway on purpose
Truth is, I’m trying to skip the part
Where you rise up from the tangled sheets
And say “I’ll walk you out darling”

This time it’s me prematurely walking out on you
I’m not supposed to be here anyway
In this house. This haunted maze of a house
With you and your roommates

Who quietly walk up and down the stairs, wondering
What is it between us, that keeps me coming back
Truth is, I’m not entirely sure either
It could be the taboo of it all

But I think the reasons are much more simple
Letting go is impossible
862 · May 2012
Untitled
Kayla May 2012
I went out with a new guy tonight
A business major and heartthrob
He even held the door open for me, and brought some peonies
All of the girls approve, a little too much
Playfully asking if he has any similar friends
But in my head,
I think of how he talked too much
And how I could never picture him kissing the nape of my neck like you do
And how that indian food we ate, wasn't the most kick-*** aphrodisiac, either
He is amazing
And it's really not about the food, or his perfectly pressed button-down shirt

it's about you
it's just my heart and brain are classically conditioned
to despise and discourage anyone but you in some ***** white t-shirt
your dark hair a thick mess, scruffy faced
standing at the foot of your bed, smiling at me
I wrote this at about 3am saturday. It's basically blabbing and realization but it felt good to write
677 · May 2012
My muse
Kayla May 2012
Where would I be without you my dear?
My melancholy muse, forever stranded in my mind.
Depressing is the mere thought of you staying here
However, the thought of you leaving destroys me as well

I’m inspired by your shoulders
I clench onto them like I would fall a thousand feet,
If they weren’t holding me up.
Your being inspires my creativity.
664 · May 2012
Insignificant Wonder
Kayla May 2012
Why do we build up past events in our minds? Such meager moments,
We tell the stories as if they are something epic,
Something like a majestic tale of a vast medieval castle,
That we had these wonderful, cryptic adventures in
Set upon rolling sage colored terrain
This uncharted empire that only we have experienced
But in reality, these adventures are sacred, only because they were fleeting
I didn't want to title this poem at all
656 · Jul 2012
Her Fairytale is Foreign
Kayla Jul 2012
she feels the need to be needed

another one's desire--
that's what she wants to be
involved and in love with another soul,
just like hers
but maybe a little different

she needs someone to sit in the grass with,
someone that will play with her hair
and trace circles around her hipbones
while laying in the sunshine

someone that will be her sunshine
on the mornings of the days
when her body feels chained to the bed
unable to face what the world has planned for her
unable to escape the darkness of the room

the light that creeps in through the blinds
and brightens her face
makes her wonder, is that you?
624 · Jun 2012
I Surrender
Kayla Jun 2012
You hate me--
because there's no stronger emotion,
no notion, or motion to pull your feelings for me
in any direction but ice cold

I feel the need to see you each day, like the morning sun
in order to rise up from these ashes I have to see you
I need to see those brown eyes
like never ending pools of mocha espresso
I ache for their darkness and the way they convince me to do
the things I do

But this hate, it's a barrier--a wall
one that stretches out miles and miles
guarded by your tiny green army men
and you're ready for combat

While I'm here, white flag in hand
ready to understand
and try to mend what we have so badly destroyed
A poem about the sometimes cold endings of a relationship, and the desperation one side often feels to mend things.
608 · Apr 2012
Thank You, Dad
Kayla Apr 2012
I have your brown eyes, but mine are more hazel.
Oh, and aside from physical attributes-- I’m a romantic like you are,
Always seeing the light in everything, always finding the love in others,
Even in the darkest soul.
And out of all the gifts you’ve given me, father,
Ultimately, you’ve given me confidence.
Confidence to be whoever it is I want to be,
And courage to do whatever my heart desires.
You told me I was beautiful on a sunny day, it was my graduation.
You said it with tears forming in the corners of those brown eyes that we share.
But that wasn’t the first time you told me that,
And this is because you’re a wonderful father.
And all of those times you’ve called me beautiful
Have given me the strength to think so myself,
Even on the darkest days.
So, I’d like to thank you.
Not just for the eyes, the good bone structure or the inheritance of those rose colored glasses.
But for being the best **** dad a girl could ask for.
536 · May 2012
Fixation
Kayla May 2012
You taste like a cigarette.
When you called my phone and asked me to come over
I could tell that you were smoking one, just by your voice--
That’s when my mind saw you, as perfect as a television picture

You and your utopian profile view
Your unshaven features are rough against my own porcelain face
I look up at you and wonder, how long until we are here again?
You and I, in this room, with these lights that are dimmed to perfection
527 · May 2012
Go Away, My Love
Kayla May 2012
Cowardly moments are uninspiring
And you have proven to me,
That you are afraid
If took me forever to see that your passion is flat

To jump in, or fall in
Would be against your nature
You run as fast as you can
Because you're the furthest thing from a man

I don't know whether I can or will,
Hold on, to you or  your memory
I feel at liberty now I'm no longer affected by your pull
But I hope, for your own sake--someday your heart can be full

It kills me I don't get to be the one
The girl you finally stop all the cynical games for
It just can't be us, 'cause when push came to shove
We were nothing without those games, my love
521 · Jun 2012
When I see
Kayla Jun 2012
I see in vivid pictures. I imagine and daydream picturesque thoughts--
Strangely enough, I do not find this a gift.
It's more a burden, A burden on this young mind.
For example,
I cannot forget the time,
I was lying on his purple and white striped sheets,
in a black iron-framed bed with my head upon a shapeless down pillow,
The lights were dim, it smelled of clean laundry and a good type of sweat,
and a small heater was on--
Everything was warm.
I heard the sound of the door opening and I pretended to be asleep,
Because I was so excited to see him and,
I wanted to say so many things,
Probably dumb things...
I wanted to greet him in so many ways:
Playfully caress his hair, kiss him, say hello?
My brain was wondering why I couldn't do all three of those things at once.
it had only been 2 hours, I thought
I needed to silence my mind and calm my nerves
There I was--
Sleeping beauty, silently wondering how he would react to me
"Hey",
my warmed ear started buzzing
a shiver went through my entire body as I heard and felt this whisper.
a lovely, careless whisper from him to me
He said it so gently--
Like he didn't want to wake me but,
He wanted me to know he was there.
463 · May 2012
Your Toxic Mouth
Kayla May 2012
Every night is your adventure
You capture it under your wing
Quite like you did to me
On a particular conquest

**** you and that flawless face
You are wasted. Tonight you have sealed your fate
We are on the porch now, so you can smoke
You lean in and kiss me tenderly
Pull back slowly, and

All I can taste is alcohol and chemicals
My own innocent lips tainted.
Your mouth might be as toxic as you are
Quite my opposite, but as you know, I've never cared
A shiver goes up my spine and I'm reassured. This is why I stay
432 · May 2012
Distance
Kayla May 2012
For me, it's been too long since we've seen each other
For you, this is not the same; for you it is quite opposite actually
And for me,
That hurts more than a knife twisted into my back
Wedged right in there, 2 inches away from my spine
You tug on the nerves that fuel my distress
But still, this does not scare me
It doesn't scare me the way I scared you. Not even close
345 · May 2012
19
Kayla May 2012
19
Take my heart but not my youth
I need my youth to survive
It’s not what you wanted, but it’s the truth
It’s the careless caress of something alive
the joy of being young, and not wanting to let that go
337 · May 2012
Solitude (10w)
Kayla May 2012
Thoughts of you
Warm water cascades

*I hope you remember
ten word poems about shower thoughts are nice.

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