I write about
People I love
But I'm afraid
Just in case
love me back
someone out there
for the moon
You're the Error 404
I keep getting
But I still refresh
Call it ironic but really it’s just hypnotic
Seeing a noose dangling down the ceiling a bit too dramatic.
Who wouldn’t be an addict? To the idea of the end for all wax and plastic.
It’s a bit of a craving for something erratic; I won’t lie.
Feeling ecstatic, statically excited for my last goodbye.
When it’s restriction keeping you from the unholy affliction,
There’s always this small voice of contradiction in your head.
Telling you to stop just as the friction of the rope on your neck has been fed.
A voluntary crucifixion of your depiction of you
Constructing your fiction to world eviction to be true.
Valediction of your own jurisdiction whispering as though
Thinking it through.
Yet I stop, I can’t go through with this.
You asked me why
I’m purposely inhaling poison
through my lips.
I enjoy feeling my lungs
breathing as it rips,
Exhaling fumes of treason
losing reason to my seasonal eclipse.
It’s a metaphor I’ll say.
To the guillotine beheading and flogging as it whips.
You asked me how.
I savour the feeling of self-mutilating blood
dripping down my skin.
I’m dying. Drowning from the blood leaking.
Revealing what’s behind my grin.
Silver metal shears caressing my burning flesh,
succumbing to the frightening pleasures of my sin.
You asked me what.
What do I hope to achieve
from pilfering every burning liquor I could find.
Every glass I receive helps me deceive
the emptiness in my mind.
Erasing the memory of misery.
The mystery I tried to leave behind
But the pain keeps playing,
emphasizing I’m worth nothing and just as it stops playing,
You asked me to stop!
If it’s poison, if it’s toxic, if it hurts, why do I do it still.
Perhaps it’s because there are things inside of me
I need to ****.
We played tag and I was it. I was chasing after your whim. I ran and I sprinted behind you tho i knew my chances were slim as you were too busy running after him.
I just wish you'd look back and see me
Everytime you leave me,
I drown in thoughts and tears.
Everytime you touch me,
I smile, but I still fear.
'Cause what if you'll leave me,
you're doing it,
But what if you'll love me,
my flaws and who I am.
I am afraid that I'll choose wrong.
So I am standing,
in the middle, in between.
I am afraid that you'll leave me,
once you have seen it,
If we had
to live together,
My love, I can't get enough of you.
if you really cared
if you really care
about my well being
about anything that isn't yours
all you have to do
is read my poetry.
because i have shared it with you
but it flew right past.
as if it didn't matter at all
26.12.17 / 23.54 / make me shut up