Don't tell me about bad habits
Because you're the bad habit I could've lived without
Don't act like you know me
Because after all this time I still wish I never knew you
Don't tell me about the future I could've had with you
Because our past saw no future
This toxic relationship that we had filled my body with the lava of liquid waste
Blood
And now
I feel like I am suffocated
With the fumes of your polluted mindset of us
When in reality its
Me and You
Separated by only one word
Present
Like twins or an untitled man
Our relationship was an abomination to the gods
a curse to the earth
and all that was us, was doomed
My gullibility
Was my downfall-
like the people of Babylon
Who were selfish and wanted pride-
I cut my own wounds and poured coarse salt into them.
I still have to wet a cloth with burning spirits
And hide these scars and painful bruises
Because even though you never touched me(which is what i really wanted)
I feel that people can see through me
This toxic relationship that we had made the green-eyed monster real inside of me
And now
I will live my life thinking that there is nothing truthful about being a man
When in reality
It was you
Me, I didn't choose the right man. Thinking that you were my:
Even in the rain I would hold the umbrella for you babe
When in reality you were my:
Shut up *****, I told you I'm sorry
Like an ancient sarcophagus
You were the shape of callousness
With an outer beauty of humanity
And you showed me confidence
Built my self-esteem
But like Rudy said:
When confidence hits the ground it echoes
Like sin in a room full of God
But a God I did not know
You were my one true deity
I felt like I was in a paradise
A place called heaven
And to me, hell was just a rumour
But all the time you were here
I didn't realise that every night
I slept beside the devil
Would it be right to say
I miss who I thought you were
Or more accurate to state that
I never knew you