I'm here thinking about you and this situation of ours
and I feel an intense throbbing in my head
It came so suddenly with such ferocity, I decided to take a hot shower
The warmth of it always seems to make my pain evaporate
like the water as it touches my skin
and as it touches me, I get a revelation
A revelation so powerful, the water becomes even more heated
it's like the throbbing in my head was God knocking on the door
of my common senses and asking me kindly to wake up
Wake up and smell the roses?
No wake up and get moving
Cause all the roses are withered and dying sweetie
He tells me to remember that thinking of yourself isn't always selfish but necessary
God was telling me to save myself from the tornado that's coming
don't get ****** in by him, don't get caught in his whirlwind
Let go if you have to
The water becomes too hot and I turn it off
And I suddenly hear a commanding voice say
*"Make the throbbing stop"

and no one has it easy
                 we're all either heading for a storm,
                 just coming out of a storm
or in the midst of one.

its 2 am
and my mind is on a highway speeding
while my body is asleep

hope is a tree

                                                           ­         you may cut it down


but it must grow again

do you know what it feels like to be dead inside?
maybe it's when the rain becomes your tears that washes away everyone's fears but yours
do you know what it feels like to wake up and wonder why you're not dead?
maybe its when you realize that someone ripped out your heart and threw it away?
do you know what it feels like?
I don't think you do
Cause you've never given someone your whole heart and have it stepped on in return
You've never stayed up late just to make sure someone was alive
Have you?
Would you give a lung to them just so you could feel them breathe?
Would you give a leg for them just so they could stand up for you?
Would you give a eye for them just so they could see how happy you are to have them?
Would you give your heart to them just so they could at least feel a portion of the love you have for them?
If so, you know how I feel cause you feel it too
and I'm sorry
Because I'm broken in ways I can't even explain.

right at this moment I just despise you . I hate your ******* guts. I wish I could break every bone in your body so you could feel the pain I felt when you left me. As I think of that terrible time , I can feel the tears coming , I can feel that surge of water coming forward in my eyes
do you know how much you hurt me that cold August day? I remember the exact words you said to me. I started shaking uncontrollably yet I couldnt move.

I was in hell for the next year. I was loving you and destroying myself at the same time while you were out living your life. I was dead ever since August 25, 2012
but then on June 2013 I met someone who made me dare to love again. I was scared as hell to step out on that ledge but he made me go. I was now willing to take the chance to self-destruct myself again
He brought me so much joy , it was refreshing to see the enthusiasm at which he loved me. He understood all my insecurities; in fact he accepted it. He did everything you failed to do

Now you wanna interfere with our relationship? I will never let you break us up no matter what. If our relationship is gonna end its not gonna be because of you, we gonna end it on our terms

You killed me already. Leave me alone now. Please
Let me live in peace