see it's not that I still want you
although part of me will forever be in love with the thought of loving you
I will forever be in love with my thoughts
of you turning into the boy I thought I knew
but I can never forget you
I can never forget the day you came into
my life and changed my universe
your witty conversation and deep voice were once the highlight of my life
but now they're just a memory
you taught me how to love
and you gave it abundantly
then one day you took it all back
i will never forget that day

I don't even know what to say
Eight months of this crap and I don't know what to say
you have already squeezed and ****** the life out of me
but now I'm really drained
I'm empty
It's not your words that hurt me
It's the silence
earth-shaking, heart-wrenching silence
I spilled the contents of my heart on your table of thoughts
and you replied with silence
I've fallen into this neverending desolate pit of doom and I cant get up back
I'm empty
I dug deep inside my soul and gave you things
i didnt even know I had
I'm empty
I'm tired
I'm empty

he stood 5'10 , same height as me
Light-skinned with freckles
And lips that look traced with black lip liner

from his eyes I got a certain feeling I couldnt explain
they exuded such love and innocence yet a hint of guilt
but it only made me craved him more

and his smile, his smile gave me life
his smile was so painfully alluring and beautiful
it made me crave him even more

his laugh was my happiness
that noise is the most wonderful sound ever

I've fallen so deep for you, you're the only one that can save me
my stomach's full of butterflies
and Im starving, yearning for your attention

will you please be with me ?

Your music is sensual, dark and languid
Mysterious and ****, hypnotic and sultry
The slow tempo and rumbling bass drums are a heavenly mix
I close my eyes and let the forlorn echoes immerse me
In a sea of falsetto vocals and stuttering percussions

Your music is enigmatic, puzzling and seductive
Pacifying and troubling, calming and cinematic
Your champagne crooning is a movie in itself
Telling me the tales of a gloomy ***-infused hangover life
And it connects to the depths of my soul
Even though I've never experienced it

Narcotized slow jams filled with samples of punk and rock
Transports me to an actual dream world
Your subtly crafted harmonies and beats are celestial
And your lyrics a painkiller
That numbs the wounds in my soul and takes me higher...

Your voice is R&B; but your lyrics are ***** rap
You take such vile words and turn them into something beautiful
and I adore that.

What is suicide?
they say it is the action of killing oneself intentionally
I guess being with you was exactly that
every single day was a beautiful disaster
My stomach was filled with dead butterflies
once glorifying at the sight of your face and sound of your name
but now deceased cause everything has changed

You once brought me so much bliss
but this isn't the love I thought it was
I don't know what happened
You just stopped being you
and you had loved me
I'm drowning in your pitch black sea of silence
our love is like a rope tied around my neck
and the more I try to think it's still real, the more it tightens
No, no, no! Stop strangling me
Leave him, leave him now I tell myself
but I cant move.
I let myself self-destruct
and I hate it
You could crack my chest open , rip my heart out with your bare hands
and I would still use my last gasping breath
to tell you I love you
I wont let go and you won't let go
and I hate it
you're killing me
and I hate it

What is suicide?
they say it's killing oneself intentionally
I guess falling in love with someone who can only love you
with a fraction of their heart is exactly what it is