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Jul 17 · 30
Kaleidoscope Mind
I am bouncing from one prison to the next
Because the true prison surrounds me in the form of flesh and anger
Red rivers crashing against the stones placed around my heart
Tear drops fall in reverse as my world is flipped upside down
Intoxicated lips spill secrets like wine glasses slipping through clumsy fingertips
Smoke filling lungs with tar like the pavement freshly laid across my wounds
Bleeding beneath the surface
Cracked smiles cut those brave enough to graze the edges
I dissapear, receding like the ocean before a great storm.
Dark clouds fill my lungs creeping up my face into my eyes, draining the energy that once lived in those emerald orbs
I release a sigh and my soul slips through my lips
Moments pass by as I live in the memories in my head
Playing like home movies that torture me
Waterfalls of emotion pulse from my skin
Taking over like blankets of fog
Covering you up and tucking you into my personal madness
Are you scared yet?
#sad #sadness #life #madness #emotion #raw #trip #thoughts #prisons #prison #agony #alive #feeling
Jul 1 · 28
Feverish Poems
Shaky breaths, and
Weightless shoulders
Lift me higher into
A state of mind where
Lyrics bounce in my
Head, urging this craving
For tension to form
Between muscles and skin.
As I feverishly write
Out a thought that
Make sense in no
Mind, but mine.

Fingertips bleeding words
Unto lined paper
Mind an open area
For thoughts, color, shape,
Intertwining to become
Images playing behind
My eyelids.
A smile bleeds to ink
Traveling from the veins
Of my mind
Jul 1 · 123
Behind Closed Eyes
Inside I fall into blackness
Eyes shut I breathe
Overwhelming suffering
Inside I seethe

I cannot escape my mind
It's a prison I build
Undeniable agony
The cup is over filled
It has spilled
Can I rewind?

Help me please
My eyes they bleed
From all the tears I cry
Feb 24 · 166
Images
Images
Flashing Bright
Inside my mind
Filling me up inside
Filling my lungs to the top
Cutting out all my air supply
Slowly suffocating, will I die?
Images in my mind
Filling me up inside
Flashing Bright
Images
Feb 5 · 392
The Room
It took me a minute
It took me a minute to open up my mind
My hand was shaking
Trembling as it hovered
Right over that rusted, squeaking handle
When my fingertips brushed the cool metal it was rough and rugged
The doors paint chipping away
What used to be bright cherry oak
Was now crumbling
But I was not deterred
I ****** in a deep breath
Gripped that cool metal tightly and twisted
There was loud screech as the once sedentary **** broke back into action
As I pushed open the door
It was dusty and burned my eyes and filled my lungs with jmpurities
It was troubling to look past the fog it had created
Old debris and dirt particles danced and twirled in the air as it descended back down to the creaking floor boards
I recall how quiet it was in that room
Lacking windows and furniture
Lacking security and confidence
But I was determined
I slipped on my blue gloves
A snap against skin like a war cry
I was ready to begin
I started by dusting the corners, then the walls
I swept the floor with gusto and will
I envisioned that room spotless
I envisioned windows filing that room with sunlight
I envisioned music playing soft tunes that pulled your body into rhythmic motion
I envisioned that room filled with people that I love
I envisioned us smiling, laughing
Pure moments of humanity shining in and brushing my skin with its warmth
Once the festivities come to end
I envisioned that room bright with the moonlights company
Until morning when sun rises and fills the room once again
This room represents my mind, and the much needed cleaning it needs of all the negativity that I've allowed to clutter it.
Jan 20 · 216
Lonely Bird's Forest
The humming rush of water
Is hypnotizing me
The songs of lonely birds
All perched on separate trees

The soft rattling
The brush of vibrant leaves
All pull a string that's deeply
Planted in the roots of me

Chiming along
I am a lonely bird
Perched upon a tree
Where no one sees

Crying out
I sing with the clouds
Wings lifted
Ready to flee

Tentatively brush dark leaves
With muster I push on to see
Where this overgrown path
will lead

Lungs filled
Intoxicated
On the fresh
Breeze.

So drawn I push forward
What do I see
But a small part
Of what appears to be me

I step forward
One more time
I am longing
To see

Where this
Path
Will
Lead

Do I continue
Will I succeed
Do I push forward
Do I proceed

Am I lost inside
This lonely forest
Do I hide
Where no one sees

Do I wait alone
Where the silence lulls me
to hypnotic tones

Of lonely birds shown
perched upon a tree
Nov 2018 · 74
Life Sucks Right Now
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2018
Every moment we spend living and experiencing, shapes and develops us. The moment you fall in love
The moment your heart breaks
The test you fail
The test you ace
We are all the bookkeepers of our own lives
Looking for the balance to keep us standing upright
Of course this scale may tip to one side or the other from time to time, But as always balance can be achieved
Hope love kind kindness balance life live living alive together
Nov 2018 · 151
A Ghost is A Wish
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2018
I wish you guys loved me enough to be here for me.
I'm sorry that I'm not enough for you. I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted.
I'm sorry that I'm not worth a family. I'm sorry that I'm useless and worthless.
I'm sorry that I cant make you guys happy.
I want nothing more than to go back in time and live forever in the moments where I felt like we were all a family.
Because now the only thing i want to do is disappear and stop existing so I dont have to feel so alone.
I want to stop pretending that I'm ok, I want to stop pretending that I dont feel empty and dead on the inside.
I want to stop pretending like I dont feel abandoned and left in the dust.
I want to stop loving you guys because it only tears me into pieces everytime I try and I'm left with nothing but stifiling anxiety that I no longer matter to you guys.
I dont know you guys anymore. And no one cares. That's the part the really kills me. That I sit here and cry until my head feels like exploding because everyone leaves me.
Everyone replaces me. I'm always number 2 and I just want to feel normal. But I cant. Because these ghost haunt me.
In my dreams, in my life, in my love, in my hate.
These ghost have taken every inch of me.
Suffocating me.
Frozen fingers splayed across my neck, they choke me.
Until I cant speak.
Until I'm silenced by the viciousness of which it steals my light.
It brings me to the other side and pulls my hair, punches me, stabs me.
Until I bleed.
But only for a minute and then I wake up, drenched in sweat.
Promising myself that I will never feel again.
I wish so intensely that my bones quiver.
I wish so much that my luck is gone. Just wishing that I could be apart of you again.
That I could come from somewhere. But I was born alone.
Born to ghost that dance at night. Unseen but heard as chilling noises in the night.
Untouched but felt as cold breath across your back.
I was born to ghosts and secrets that cage me.
A ghost is a wish.
And I wish I could exist.
Aug 2018 · 173
The Beginning of The End
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2018
Beginnings and endings
Marked by unique tombstones
Each a fingerprint
Of great creators
Jun 2018 · 115
Behind The Curtain
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2018
Inside
I battle
My voice is weak
While SHE has been loud

Talking constantly
To bring me down
Speaking in tongues
That bring black clouds

My heart has beat
With bullet holes
Gushing inklings
Of doubt

Into my body
It took over me
Stole who I was
supposed to be

Took years off my life
In the form of
Smoke and knives

And now I talk back
At the one who
Brings me down

Now I scream back
Her voice
I drown

I'm me again
No one else is
Around

I'm free again
These feet on
Solid ground
Jun 2018 · 148
A Talk Between Us
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2018
I'm sorry
For all the hate
All the anger
The confusion

I'm lost
Not very sure
Trying to keep up

Something new
Is around every corner
Threatening
Sometimes sweet

It tests me
Test my love
My faith in myself

Its shaking me
Stirring me
STAND UP

But I still love
I forgive
I'll try again

So should you
I believe
I care

You can do it
The dream
Lives in our veins
Jun 2018 · 634
I am Kind and Not Afraid
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2018
When I awakened
There was nothing left
Not soul on Earth
Not a single breath

I looked outside
With dread and sorrow
At the empty streets
There is no tomorrow

My fingers shook
With fear and pain
To see my brothers,
Broken and slain

I am the survivor
The guilt came fast
How could I have lived
When all have passed?

I sank to my knees
My head back in despair
I folded my hands
And sent out a prayer

Please take me too
The guilt is too much
Without friends or family
Who're warm to the touch

An angel appeared
A bright swirling light
With a voice that said
"Please live and fight

Although the day seems dim
There is still hope to bear
For you're not the only one
Who wanders in despair

There is one more
Shes kind and not afraid
She will bring a light inside
That's just as bright as day"

I dared to rest my eyes
On the swirling mass of light
In its reflection
It was me ready to fight

I am kind and not afraid
I am as bright as the light of day
I am strong and I will fight
With all my heart and all my might
Apr 2018 · 162
Goodnight, Goodbye
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2018
I am torn
Inside my head
Where thoughts are worn
And turned to shreds

This sunken heart
Inside my chest
Is torn apart
And laid to rest

Whispers call me
In depths untouched
Speaking calmly
In foreign tongues

I'm losing sight
I'm falling down
The light is bright
From on the ground

Goodnight I say softly
Goodbye I suppose
These sad atrocities
That I have chose

Have tucked me in
And closed my eyes
Where night begins
And I have died
Oct 2017 · 358
The Door
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2017
There is a door in my mind
I don’t know who or what is behind
It’s dark and cracked open in spots
And through those holes it bleeds
Just like me
Sep 2017 · 493
Split
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2017
There's no silver linings
No light at the end of the road
And I've been searching
...all on my own

The trees are losing thier leaves
Much like I am losing my hair
And the grass is growing it's weeds
And I'm seeing things that aren't there

Its these chemicals balanaced in my mind
That prompts me to find
Such sad little beings
Who love and live
As thoughts in my mind

I'm seeing faces in the shadows
Love in darkness
And happiness with the smoke in my lungs

And I'm done

So done with this constant ache
This soreness in my head
This brutal awakening
That I am dead

Not physically so because I still breathe
But inside of me, I bleed

I look in the mirror
And hate what I see
"Well change yourself!"
But that isn't me

And now I'm slumped on the couch
Listening to slow songs
Watching the room spin
Out of control

Wishing these thoughts weren't there
Aug 2017 · 350
Ordinary World
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2017
We open our eyes
Estranged and confused to the world around us
We lay bare and vulnerable
Wide eyed and easily frightened

Time elapsed
We're kicked and pushed
Loved and hated
Given hope
It's torn away

We still fight
Told of a light
That can bring us peace
Bring us deliverance
From the pain

We smile although at night we cry
That familiar sting in your eyes and nose
That tug at your heart
Which pulls you apart

We create bonds
Give our souls to one another
As we continue to fight
Our bodies sore
Our minds slightly broken

And then we close our eyes
Tiny lights dancing behind
Our eyelids
Slipping off like dew on a morning daisy

We begin again
Jul 2017 · 562
Ice Cold Bath Water
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2017
The drain dripped lazily, like rain water, into the icy bath  
Dark circles dress beneath my eyes like storm clouds
The bathroom is black, except for the light shinning in from under the door
I sit submerged in the cold water, skin numb from the biting temperature
Fully clothed
It's 10 am
Monday
July

I have spent all my sadness
Saturated myself in it
Now all is left is the dark, and the loneliness
Each prowling around my mind
Growling

I stare up at the ceiling
No light
Only vague shapes
Creating themselves out of shadows
And tricking my eyes
Soothing my conscience

My heart is racing
My fingers shaking
Both arms are strewn along the sides of the tub
But despite the solidness beneath them
I'm floating
It's 11 am
Monday
July

Time is slipping by
My teeth are chattering
My toes are gone
My lungs hurt
From breathing

My eyes hurt too
I only feel physical pain
I sink lower into the coolness
My chin hit the surface
Then my nose
My eyes
I'm covered

I open my eyes against my bodies better judgement
It hurts them
But they already hurt
I already hurt
I open my mouth
Water breaks in
I scream
They drown
It's 12 pm
Monday
July

My hair drips into the bath water
I'm shaking
My throat hurts
My arms hurt
Still no tears
Where did they go?
It's 1 pm
Monday
July

The waters red
It's finally warm again
But my body is cold
My eyes stare at the ceiling
My lips are turning blue
It's ...
I'm
Aug 2016 · 807
Shades of Madness
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2016
I
Feel Nothing
Inside My Heart

It
Deceives Me
Again

Breaking Me
So Easy I Bend

Leaving Me
Right Back At The Start
Of It All

This Madness I Hide

It's Swirling

Dancing

Crying Inside

Save Me

From


Myself
Aug 2016 · 886
Horrible Miracles
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2016
I used to believe we were miracles
A gift of the stars above
Yet now my heart grows weary
As I feel the absence of love

The beauty which used to replenish us
The passion which used to revive
Is drowning beneath the anger and lies
I wonder, will it survive?

Such horrible miracles we've become
So deranged and mangled by greed
Is love a shimmer of light in the dark
To which our souls long to lead?


Peace so shriveled and distant
A memory I look upon fondly
A smile so timid, and longing
Whishing that maybe it'd find me
Jul 2016 · 717
In The Silence
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2016
In silence I only hear my thoughts
The overcrowding of voices in my brain
The overwhelming rush of blood in my veins

I breathe deep

In silence I only hear your voice
Echoing in my head
The overcrowding feelings
Coat my heart in cement

And in the darkness I only see your memory
A faint light tethered to my heart
Beating in accordance to yours
Which used to beat alongside mine

And we were dreamers in the night
With wide ambitions and future sight
And now we're silent screamers
We're locked away

With so many opinions
and so much to say
yet my mouth is sewed shut
By the voices that play on repeat inside my head
they play and play and play and...

In the silence all I hear is you

In the silence which has become so loud
I feel lost inside this imaginary crowd
Apr 2016 · 430
Indigo Dreams
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2016
The flowers were tinged in red
The all mighty has fallen again
A dark ring has fallen around the sun
It grows bigger as each day is done

Shadows linger where we used to be
Our dreams casted out into the sea
And the indigo moon is hoisted up high
As it watches the light in our eyes die

As it watches the leaves fall from trees
A place our hopes used to be
In the branches of the old kings and queens
And the Earth opens up wide to swallow me

My lungs fill with dirt decay
In this soil belly where I lay
I feel the soil sink between my feet
In a place where light and dark will always meet
A  sullen smile as raindrops fall in reverse
And I forget all that I have rehearsed
The role I play has gone off script
Somewhere down the road I had tripped
And now my heart beats but it skips

Hopscotch heartbeats and sunken in eyes
Why did the sun and moon die?
Where are the stars that once shined so bright?
The emptiness is just not right

And now I sleep beneath indigo skies
My eyes shut tight
And now I have indigo dreams
They're full of tangled webs and screams
Apr 2016 · 1.1k
Growing Up Too Fast
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2016
Sad faced youth
With dreary eyes
And weighted shoulders

Tear stained youth
With a sullen heart
And a million thoughts

Fast paced life
With too many choices
Which is right?
I may never know

****** up night
Her parents are shouting
Echoes linger
Down the hall

Open bottle
The cap is lost and she is chugging
Add some pills
To numb the pain

Open wounds
The pain is crawling
Inside her skin
Because she's insane

Broken heart
Midnight is calling
With sad tales
Of the one with no name

Where does this road go?
She's lost the map again
No one knows
She's lost her name

Open casket
The rain is falling
Blurred out lines
And memories

She was young
And her heart was hurting
From all the thoughts
They Caused her pain
Mar 2016 · 926
Remarkable Love
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2016
Remarkable love
The word in which I choose to describe love

Tangible love
The way you feel it graze your skin
And stare into the depths of eyes
That share such a vigorating feeling

Undaunting love
Love has brought me through the dirt
Yet raised me from the ground and kissed my wounds
The beauty is regal and untamed
A vicious foe yet filled with an undying loyalty
It is uncapturable, as fluctuating as the erratic beat of my heart

Formidable love
Love knows me yet I am a stranger
Staring wide eyed at the looming colossal figure
The beast that calms me
The only one that tames my fiery heart  
Until my flame is a soft flicker against the moonlight

Desirable love
Until fingers graze skin
And lips tremble in the proximity
Chests press a hard thud against familiar flesh
And pulses raise

Remarkable love
Feb 2016 · 626
Play Pretend
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2016
My lung expand
Slowly they deflate
I'm breathing in
Just a bit too late

My heart contracts
It beats inside
My lips are raw
From the pain I hide

Biting at them
I chew to think
My nails were perfect
And now they shrink

These thoughts are constant
They never end
I wear a mask
And play pretend

My stomach is empty
I hate to eat
I loathe the feeling
It's too complete

And I am broken
A jagged mess
After all these feelings
You confessed

I'm slowly gathering
My parts again
To build my mask
And play pretend
Feb 2016 · 451
Poem of the Drunken
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2016
I can feel the tingle start at the tip of my tongue
I feel the burn in the pit of my stomach
The lightness washing over these heavy limbs
The weightless impossibility
The drunken bliss
A feeling I miss
With each shot I forget your face
Each drink of this liquid pain killer
Takes me a step away from the memories
That haunt me
Jan 2016 · 675
Here's to the last Hello
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
You started off as a beacon
A shred of light in the dark
You started off as a song
One with the perfect melody
One with lyrics that fit my skin
And a tune that stroked my heart

You started off as something new
Something gorgeous in my eyes
Something that became my only truth
And erdicated all the lies

You turned into a heated kiss
One that warmed the pieces of my heart
And transformed into my passion
One that could never be torn apart

And now these tears that lie soaking in my bed
Has left these traces of voices in my head
Ones that tell me I'll never be good enough
Ones that fill me with an evil sort of stuff

A voice so empty it leaves shivers in my spine
A voice so broken because you had never been truly mine
Jan 2016 · 664
Optic Chasms
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
I took a note of the serenity
The peaceful quake of silence
The candid chatter of simple thoughts
And those eyes

I fell head first into those romantic chasms
A regal beauty dwelled inside
Swimming in the complexity of those orbs
Always examining

Taken by the deep green mirrors
A perfect image of a rainy forest
They drizzled with a wisdom
Beyond

So very beyond this human earth
Transcending into the deepest means of matter
Into something that takes form
But no meaning presented to such simple beings

An enigma in those eyes
Watching with such jagged edges
They cut like the smoothest blade
A bittersweet injury

One may fall captive
Beneathe the brush of those black lashes
To the tops of rosy cheeks

And the mischievous grin
Which up turns such wicked lips
Jan 2016 · 352
Home In Your Arms
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
Light shines in on our bodies as broken rays
Your warmth heats my frozen winter toes
It's these magical mornings I lay awake
That I finally feel like I am home
Jan 2016 · 642
Breaking The Silence
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
Loneliness is a bitter monster
It sits on the edges of my heart
Pulling at the strings
The musical song echoes in the vacancy

My eyes belong to a lonely girl
Forlorn in her love and lost in her hopes
That maybe one day
Another heart would soothe that ache

Mourning over the sun fall
That bright, wide eye turns away too soon
And she is left empty
With the blind white eye of the dead moon

Tear stains tattoo her skin
And disapproval scars her heart
When will she be good enough
When will she be free

When will darkness stop taking over
When will the lightness win
When will heartache stop
Coming from the people I let in

When will my voice stop being crushed beneathe the sea?
When will the jokes stop pouring in and drowning me?
When will this life be over I'm tired of the fight
When will the dark surrender its sword up to the light?

Break the silence and hear this lonely voice
When did fear start taking over and become my only choice?
Jan 2016 · 951
The Beast Mississippi
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
I will never tell you how I imagined my suicide in the shower
How I watched myself take the frozen metal rails
And lifted my one shaking leg over the bridge
And stared down at the ice cold, daunting gaze of the great Mississippi
How I closed my eyes and pictures your face
While the cold pierced my skin and my woes pierced my heart
I will never tell you the effort it took to slid my other leg over the railing and step into my coffin
Watching the river crash it's arms against the ice
I will never say how terror gripped my insides knowing that this beast would swallow me whole
Yet knowing I cannot swim gives me comfort
Once I fall the water will push me under, beneath its arms and into it's belly
I will never tell you how time froze as I fell  
My face casted towards the stars
The cold wind holding me suspended in air for a few granted moments as I whisper my goodbyes
Goodbye moon, my lips shake against the syllables
Goodbye love, my eyes damp with defeat
Goodbye fear, my heart thrumming in my chest
Goodb-
Sep 2015 · 523
Goner
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2015
Into the trees
Into the darkness of the trees
My pain, my tears they follow me
To slip away from the world
Slip away into the trees
Where the leaves will carry me
Into the darkness
Into the darkness of me
My heart, my chest is swollen
I chip away with this disease
Where death will carry me
Into the trees
Into the trees I'll never leave
Sep 2015 · 898
Homeless State Of Mind
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2015
Where am I to go?
I wander but have no home
Where am I to stay?
With no pillow, my head to lay

Where am I to sleep?
With no bed of mine to keep
Where am I to go?
When I wander all alone
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2015
There is a wistful feeling that curls like smoke from the rain clouds
As feet splash in puddles reflecting the sky

The sound of rain beating it's fists against the glass
As the rain washes away the dirt
Making everything new

There is a feeling of kindred spirits as I stare up at the sky
And see the moon ebbing alongside the stars
A feeling of homesick illness washes over me

There is a feeling of deep despair as I walk in the night
Silence is heavy, resting on my shoulders
I am always waiting

For that feeling
Aug 2015 · 545
Limerence Among Stars
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2015
Beneath the eyes of a gleaming sky
Each light a smatter of fire inside
I watch transfixed as those stars align
Painting a love that lived and thrived

Quaking, it rose mighty on weary bones
A muse of it's own damnation
Convinced it may always wander alone
It stumbled upon the light of it's salvation

No longer afraid of the dark and the nightmares it hides
It cracked the glass around it's wounded heart
And pushed aside the walls it once relied
To open eyes that vowed to never part

*And kindred hearts sparked flames of passion
These hearts of the same dream
A heart that once gave love in ration
Was bleeding love in a steady stream

It laid to rest those broken bones
For now it walked on bones of steel
It laid to rest that empty home
And finally allowed itself feel
Jul 2015 · 386
Ashes of Eden
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2015
Landfill of broken integrity
Trapped beneath the weight of the world
Slowly drowning under the uncertainty
Of this path I was hurled
onto

Shuddering with the stench of death in my nose
These forgotten nightmares are churning in my head
I'm lying in a place where everyone goes
Once they are dead

The skies no longer gleam with little lanterns lighting the way
The streets are bare and desolate that ring with no sound
The trees are fossils of life that once swayed
Along with the wind that was once so profound

The world is but a corpse rotting away
Once filled with bright eyes
Is now forgotten while its flesh decays
Just another world to die
Jul 2015 · 331
A Light In The Dark
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2015
Headlights
Blinding me
Coming towards me
Now I can't see
I am not afraid anymore
To look death in it's eyes
My arms are outstretched wide
I see a light
Coming towards me
Blinding me
Headlights
Jul 2015 · 395
Isolation
Katlyn Orthman Jul 2015
Trapped between these prison walls
I watched, in dread, the angel fall
Innocence crushed like autumn leaves
And blown away by sad wind heaves
Hands are scarred from picking up pieces of this broken dream
Paralyzed mentally, ignore my screams
Darkness shrouds the corners of my heart
The foundation has crumbled into parts
This isolation will freeze my bones
Insanity taking over so no ones home
I just want to live alone
Jun 2015 · 327
You're Just A Face
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2015
You're just a face
That I am passing by
Another place
That I must survive

You're just a face
That I passed by on the road
Matter filling space
A piece for my story to unfold

You're just a face
That is always in the background
Always misplaced
Always around

You're just a face
Jun 2015 · 449
Let Me Drown
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2015
I am drowning
Underneath this feeling of desperation
I am dying
Inside this broken heart is bleeding
I am crying
These tears falling with the loss
The enormous loss of not knowing
Not knowing that the even the ones closest to you
Will betray you
Berate you
Break you
Let me drown
May 2015 · 431
Half Past Insanity
Katlyn Orthman May 2015
Dreary Dreary
These Weary Bones
They Holler And Shudder
In Dreadful Tones
I've Strained Them So Terribly
I've Pained Them So Much
These Bones Cry Their Fury
With Each Simple Touch

Burning Burning
My Churning Guts
I've Worked Myself Desprate
I've Worked Myself Nuts
I'm Nearly Depleted
I'm Running On Low
I'm Broke And Defeated
I Really Must Go
May 2015 · 328
Legion of Shadows
Katlyn Orthman May 2015
Darkness hovered over the dreary sky.
The storm clouds gathering in the skies black eye’s.
And like the tears of the innocent, I watched the sky cry.
I watched the lightning shock the sky back to life.
Then watched a tornado gut the Earth like a knife.
And I watched the Bulimic Earth hurl up the ocean
And I watched as the Earth died
Apr 2015 · 514
Dead Inside
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2015
I am defined
By these blood stained lines
That map out my pain on my arm

I am denied
By these voices in my head
The ones that keep screaming "Harm"

And my head is throbbing
From the tears I have shed
And my heart is throbbing
From the blood staining my bed
And I am hanging
By a very thin thread
I'm just reminded
By my arm, which is red
That inside of me
I  am very much dead
Apr 2015 · 2.5k
Liberate My Soul
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2015
Outerspace is my only liberation
To break these chains that hold me earthbound
I am a prisoner of this soil
These green eyes wilt
And the light inside dies
These lungs choke on the smog
Of these dusty streets
Give me up to the sky
The only place where my wings are free
And I can fly
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2015
Against the sky is the Pillar of Light
Hands outstretched ready at our open backs
Milky Way our Guardian of the night
Is everything that our world hereby lacks

Tentative to show its face to our eyes
The Red Moon peeks out behind a curtain
For a few minutes it will socialize
Of our humanity it is certain

Along the line our lineage has crossed
Stardust lingers in the blue of our veins
Our existence was very nearly lost
Resilient Stardust helps us remain

So you see that we are made of star stuff
Because being human was not enough
Wrote this for a Language Arts Project. It's still a work in progress but I thought I would share.
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2015
United we stand
Divided we fall
This Nation is Grand?
No, not at all

Hatred for a human being
Because one doesn't understand
I can't believe what I am seeing
I can't believe this land

Cover our eyes from the truth
Plug our ears to their words
Quiet them down, remain aloof
Pretend they never heard

This can't be the land of the free
The land of the very brave
Tears, fear and death I see
This is America the Grave
I am utterly speechless. Today began as any day does, and ended with my eyes seeing clearly how deep this problem is. Today over 100 students in my school, mostly Muslim, felt that they needed to protest just for them to be heard. Discrimination is at large. Our administration has turned a blind eye to them, and in thus they have let down a large part of our student body. To feel harassed and discriminated against, even unsafe at times, should never be allowed. I am disgusted not only with our administration, who instead of hearing these kids out, decided to put our school in a containment that also took away from our learning, but also the students. We as people belong. We as people deserve the freedom to religion, appearance, language, and life. Stop the hate.
Mar 2015 · 532
Background Noise
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2015
Remains of lost hopes and dreams
Sleeping in this endless stream
Ubiquitous the sound of screams
A place they were last seen

Maybe they're the captured last moments
Before the lights inside went out
A last resonating shout
That never ceased it's breathing

It comes alive in the dark
When the shadows tag along
And the stars whistle
To an unrepentant song

Background noise fills my mind
It seems my memory has closed the blinds
On the thrill of reality
And chosen a new mentality
Mar 2015 · 384
Chains
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2015
Release these chains
But leave one remain
This one runs deeper than blood
This one lives embroidered in my veins
Mar 2015 · 2.0k
Enchanting Blue's
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2015
I believe I fell in love with the sparkle in those eyes
How they render me speechless with the portrait of blue skies
Those bottomless pits that I fell and drowned in
As they seem to caress the softness of my skin

Like a lazy river they slowly drink me in
Every sip, a new flutter of emotion will begin
It's a pulling much deeper than physical with you
It's something swimming in the pool of those lazy blues

It's demanding in it's need to be fulfilled
It's a practiced sin with effortless skill
How you captured me with only one look
Has me dangling, struggling to breathe, on your hook
Mar 2015 · 1.9k
Our Brave New World
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2015
I find it ironic how most dystopian novels are about a utopia
A world created to be perfect because ours failed
A world full of control, uniformity, perfection, no reflection
No identity, no war, no lust, maybe lust. Maybe just lust.
Broken, failed, oh how this brave new world derailed
It's a mishap, a hit and a miss, a world full of "ignorance is bliss"
Hidden from the view,
Or maybe just hidden from you
Oh yes it's quite ironic how the perfect world is ours,
Which we find so imperfect as we stare up at the stars
And wish for a world that we could just be one
Because everyone belongs to everyone
Threw in some Brave New World references. Sorry if it's hard to understand I haven't slept in a while
Feb 2015 · 418
To Live In The Lyrics
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2015
Trembling beneath the weight of these words
These words that entice these broken bones
To sway to the memories reincarnating in my mind
This melody that brings these frozen tears to my eyes
So they hang by the thin threads
Crystallizing in my soul
Frost bitten by my breath

This song that brings me back to my youth
Brings me back into that careless mirage
Has me floating in my liquid dreams
Spiraling off every syllable

I crescendo with the feverish voice pouring into my ears
Cry with the beauty,
Cry for being homesick of those years
Where I was blissfully unaware
With these words heavy underneath my skin
Sometimes music affects me so deeply I feel it in my molecules, and all the emotions swimming in my need some kind of release. Found a song from my childhood that I loved, and needless to say I still love it very much. If you're curious it's called 'Welcome Me' by The Indigo Girls. Very beautiful song.
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