Coming in like fog,
I have no recollection of the days it started or stopped.
There are days where the sun shines through just a little bit brighter,
And other days when my world is completely dark blue.
Passing by me on a seemingly normal day,
Ill smile, laugh, maybe chime in on a few jokes.
Maintaining my cover, because I don't want to burden you,
Or maybe I just cant find the right words to say.
We live in this digital decade.
Where you cant hear the crack of despair in my voice,
And I can text you everything's been great,
No one will question it because they cant see my face.
Now even on FaceTime I can put up a front,
You only see the mask I've put on and the sliver of visibility around me.
You don't smell my greasy hair or the fact I haven't showered in 3 days,
You cant see that it's been 2 months since I last shaved my legs.
Even despite all these things, you don't see the mountain of clothes
In every corner and scattered about my bedroom and bathroom floors.
You don't know that I only left my bed twice yesterday,
Only to quickly retreat back.
You only know what I've shown you,
The three inches of screen you're holding between your fingers.
Originally written 11/10/2018