Kathryn

Kathryn Oct 2018

It's crazy
You came into my life
So quickly things changed
My life found purpose
Every moment of pain
Id experience again and again
If I had know you were waiting
I felt your movement before anyone
Loved you before I laid eyes on you
It's crazy
I never would have thought
I'd feel this way
Sleepless nights are worth it
Something I would never say before
Your my everything
I cry as I rock you to sleep
This love I have for this tiny human
It's crazy

#motherhood #parenthood #pregnancy

Kathryn Oct 2018

Untitled

A young women took her life
Just down the street
A child in the school yard
Found her hanging from a tree...
2 brothers got into another fight
one stabbed the other over drugs
Blood stained the doors
He banged on for help...
6 shots broke the silence of the night
Some how he's still alive
Laid on the road I'm so familiar with
With bullets in his head....
This place I grew up is changing
maybe I'm more aware
Violence all around
Where does it end...
children arrested for selling drugs
*** trafficking
Police raids
In the last year I've seen it all...
I refuse to give up hope
This world I've brought my child into
it can be a beautiful place
Love can overcome hate...
...........
.

Needs editing... might delete later.... just a few things that have happened in my neighborhood in the past year

#suicide #gunviolence #violence #death

Kathryn Oct 2018

My baby

In a few short months you changed me
Took my world and turned it around
Everything in life seemed worth it
the moment I found out you existed
The struggles and depression
I'd go through them all again
if I knew I would hold you
Watch you sleep
Hear your laugh
I've never felt a love so deep
I'd do anything to keep you safe
Your my everything
my baby
My life

I can't explain how my life changed the moment I found out I was pregnant, or the moment I first held him

#pregnant #pregnancy

Kathryn Sep 2018

I wish....

There's a scar written on my soul
Your name forever etched on my heart
I don't think you will ever know
How much I tried to help
I wish I could have saved you
From the darkness that lingered and the pain that clung so deep
I've gone through so much since the last time we spoke
I'm a mother now, something we both know I never expected. I'm cherishing these moments of innocence
hoping that we will speak again praying to an unseen force that your safe and finally happy
I miss you
........

I refuse to believe you took your own life. You are to good of a person
I miss you. Please find me show me a sign.

#suicide #loss #friendship

Kathryn Jun 2016

Days Like Today

Days like today I miss you the most
When it hurts inside and I have no one to talk to.
Today’s hard my anxieties crippling
I can feel it in the core of my chest
Spreading outward to my fingertips,toes,even the ends of my hair
I considered ripping the strains from my head
But what does that accomplish?
Nothing but bald spots and more regrets
The poisons already in my veins
We both know its a **** up in my head
Just a chemical **** up...
That's what I try and remind myself
On days like today...

#depression #imissyou #bpd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

Kathryn Mar 2016

Tonight's different

I feel different tonight
It took awhile to get this way
strokes of a paintbrush helped
But the paint was only red
A flash of silver at the start
a slight sting
it's been awhile, I missed this.
Watching the beautiful droplets
caress the sides of the jar
I can't help but smile
Tonights different
.........

Im working on this....

#selfharm #painting #selfinjury

Kathryn Mar 2016

Jars of blood

Tonight I sit quietly
Trying to keep what I'm about to do
Personal
Just the way I like it
Between me and my demons
I choose to fight with a single blade
Across the skin is where the battles held
Bubbles of red break the surface
Like the dawn of the sun
Until they too break and drip away
I keep these precious crimson tears
In mason jars.
Never to forget the times
The demons didn't win