My heart is blue.
I miss you.


k.f.

I've always had quite a wild imagination. Constantly day dreaming instead of facing the reality that surrounded my every move. My whole life I've been stuck inside my own mind, but maybe that'll never change. Growing up my dreams got bigger and bigger to the point where they became too strong for my own good. The battle I was fighting inside me turned into a war between wanting to follow the hopes, the dreams, the aspirations inside of me or conforming to a realistic future where you go to school, find a job, get married, have kids, and die. I didn't want that for myself. That's why my mind was filled with fields of flowers instead of a closed, gated cemetery. It was meant for me to explore, to take risks, to give too many chances, and to learn. But no one could ever understand that I will never be like everyone else. I tried my hardest to become the people I came across but I just couldnt do it. It was as if my mind was finally unlocked and it couldn't be closed back up. I never want it closed back up, I just want more and more and more. I want more for myself. I want a life filled with laughs, with passionate feelings of joy, love, and the occasional sorrow. I want a life filled with art, with ideas, dementions, galaxies far far away from earth. I want friendships with ones who share the same free mind, where we can unite and learn whilst enjoying the wild adventures and shenanigans we experience together. I want to travel to the absolute ends of the earth, drink coffee with a new person each morning, dive into a new culture each day, and discover something blissful in my journey at the end of each night. I want it all. My mind was once tamed and it will never be caged up again.

k.f.

Everyone thought that she was better
She smiles, so she's fine right?
But little did they know,
She cried rivers late at night.
She felt like she was drowning
From her own mind and skin crawling thoughts
And getting over being hurt,
Was nothing that could be taught.
She has experienced the weight of this cruel world
Upon her brittle little shoulders
And never knew that what she had within,
Could move the heaviest of boulders

Although she was afraid and broken,
She found the strength inside her soul.
She realized she could take care of herself,
And other's actions or opinions were out of her control.

She worked on herself, for herself, by herself
Taking one step at a time
She knew this would not take over night,
And that being a little selfish was not a crime.

Each day she grew stronger,
With every step she would take.
Soon the smile she once wore,
Wasn't all that fake.

k.f.

I like pretending I'm infinite.
Nothing can touch me.
Nothing can stop me.
Nothing can hold me back.
I move through the clouds.
I connect the constellations with my bare hands.
The wonders don't stop.
The happiness doesn't stop.
Only the hurt.


-k.f

And when I looked around the room, the room that was holding only my best pals I drowned out every uproar, every babel and every whisper. My vision went into slow motion as if I was part of a cliche romantic comedy. That's when it hit me. This idea of "love" everyone talks about isn't real. Love isn't crazy, it's not a movie scene, it's not selfish, and it's not complicated. Love isn't violently crying at 4 am over a boy thinking "he's my whole world" and "I can't live without him." Love is hanging out anywhere with your best friends, the friends that genuinely care for your well being. Love is laughing with them until your stomach hurts, laughing until it's almost morning and not giving a single **** that you didn't get any sleep. At the end of the day, that's the love I live for.

k.f.

It hit me that I was waiting around. Why and what the hell was I waiting around for? An apology? A moment where he would beg for me back? Because when it comes down to it, none of that matters. I was waiting. I was waiting, while he was doing absolutely nothing. I was trying. I was giving him chance after chance to get his act together. And guess what? Still nothing. And that is complete and utterly unfair. If he wasn't doing anything than I sure as hell shouldn't waste my time waiting and beginning to nothing as well. My body became stagnant; as if he ****** me dry of every passion I had. I took a deep breath in, filling my lungs with laughs and memories because god knows those times between us were magic. When I exhaled, I released every inch of you down to the way you were so insecure, I started to question my worth. I am a masterpiece and I am interesting and I am filled with not only compassion but love and I can promise whoever is reading this that I will never let someone make me feel even a pinch less ever again.

-k.f

Stop acting like people who chose different paths than you are doing life wrong? There is absolutely no right way to live life. When we were created we didn't get handed some kind of rule book? So shut up and don't speak about what you don't know because I'm 100% positive you don't know anything, we all don't know anything and not a single person on this earth can tell you what is going on here. Each and every one of us evolves at different rates in different ways, hence, why there is never a copy of the same human. Every individual is living their story, so don't you dare judge them if they aren't done writing it.

I think it's important to to document who comes in and out of your life. Some people can swear away their enemies and say they were a waste of time, but I don't think a single thing i do is a waste of time. That's life, it keeps moving and people will flood in and out. The greatest thing about that is the experience. If it was wrong then you learn and if it was right then you learn. Life happens, people adapt different schedules, they grow at their own pace, they shape their lives differently and that's okay. You have to accept that, yes, I could know this person until I die or they will just be another lesson I learned. Enjoy them while you have them, take full advantage. Stay up all night talking to them, take pictures every time you see them, be present. The best thing is to stay in the moment, to not think how one day it won't be exactly how it is anymore. Just live and make unforgettable memories.

-k.f.

But now you have a sleeve of tattoos and sleep next to a girl who claims she loves you.

-k.f

After he ruined me and tore my self esteem into pieces sending me in a downwards spiral straight to the hospital once again. I sat there with an iv through my vein and a hole in my chest; and I still wanted him to love me. I wanted him to check up on me to see if I was okay. I wanted him to think losing me was the worst mistake of his life. I wanted him to miss me like I missed him.

-k.f.