The truths I said, so brave and bold
Were just lies, fool’s tales for gold.
You could not trust but hired me
To ferret out secrets that could be
Dangerous and paid for tales well told.

Caught up in drama and the romance
Of the spy flirting death and chance
You thought me better than I could be:
Whose fault that you could not see
Dancers must invent their dance.

I feel the sting of
Your last breath
In my chest,
Its been stuck there for quite some time.
Every time i breathe in,
You remind me
Of how hard living is;
Every time I exhale,
You remind me
Of how easy it would be
To let go.

Cigarettes do not burn this fast.
I kneaded the thought into my skull, but it still refused to enter my brain.
One day, (possibly) me and him will love
and love how lovers do.
But this will remain unknown.
He will live a life
of four-leaved clovers
and rabbit feet.
While I,
will end mine,
now.

Your ghost haunts me still.
[Did you send him here to me?]

I see
         your tousled blond hair,
         those bright blue eyes
         your round red lips,
but
        It is never really you.

Your lips are the first
I ever thought of touching.
[Did you know how close I came?]

It snowed the day after you left.
I tried desperately
to catch just one
                            perfect flake
to send to you.

You cannot mail a snowflake!
my mother righteously said.
[Did you remember the frozen day
when I loved you first?]

My heart is frozen now.

And I suppose it didn't matter
since you were gone.

You left me here and I
could not forgive you,
that must be why
your ghost haunts me now.

I am sorry. I am so sorry.

I let you slip
through my fingers
                               and now
there is nothing left.