My Blood– frozen by
The Winter’s bitter Breath–
Is thawed by the Light
Of Sky– painted Yellow

As the Tulip blooms–
So my lids Awaken
Too– my Eyes absorb
The nectar of the Skies

These new Season skies
Hold no clouds– but in me
I find there is an
Eternal fall of Rain

This necklace
It used to hang around your soft-skinned neck
Like a noose
Suffocating you, stealing your air
When our paths crossed, when our hearts collided
You removed the noose
You told me that I gave you life
I filled your lungs with air
You gave it to me
I vowed not to hang it around my neck
Never to give up my air
But as we went from holding each other's hearts  
To grabbing each other's organs for dear life
Leaving fresh blood on our hands
With those ****** hands
You threw this necklace over my head
And once on my neck
You kept pulling it
Tighter and tighter
Until I couldn't breathe
Until I gasped for air
Unable to find it
Slowly letting me die
When you left
You let it out of your grip
It still hung around my neck
Giving me flashbacks
Painful memories of each piece of life that you stole from me
Now as I stand over the water
Necklace in hand
It hangs over the depth of the river
Facing its death
As I let it go
As it falls
I rise
I take back my life
Finally
Finally
I say goodbye to you

A little girl stands in front of me, crying
She has my eyes and my nose
But I could not give her any other parts of myself
Her small hand extends toward me
I reach out for her
But the bottle in my hand pushes her farther away
She floats away from me
And I drown in the dark, fermented river

Walking down the street
On a cold winter’s day
Pull my jacket close to my face
—the scent of stale cigarette smoke clogs my lungs
    choking, I try to cough you out of my body
Crowds of people pass me by
Pushing, shoving, their faces blank
I catch a glimpse of icy blue eyes
—a jagged sapphire stone pierces my heart
    until all I can see is your toxic face
Mechanical neck turns to the ground
Not daring to look up again
I see the pale skin of my own arms
—your sharp red fingerprints infect it, one by one
    not even my own skin belongs to me anymore
Tripping over my feet
—screams of your name in the night
Heels hit the ground faster now
—the echo of sweet maniacal laughter
Running as fast
—hands of rusty silver around my throat
As my feet will
—a knife made of words, “I can’t do this anymore"
Carry me

Pang in the chest - breath
In, out, in, out, in, out

Brain ignites a spark
Body sets on fire

Head races heart
As it beats, beats, beats

Earth crumbles, crumbling
Shaking hands, shaking knees

Salt water downpour
A river called Despair

Active nerves, frozen limbs
Trapped in icy fear

what if thoughts floated like clouds
above our heads
would yours show a clear blue sky
and mine a treacherous storm
would you run for shelter from the rain
or would you be brave enough to get a little damp

Every time things start to look up, they fall apart again.
It is like a never-ending cycle and I am trapped.
Will I ever escape? Or will I ride this roller coaster until I die?
Hope soars too high, and, too quickly to keep up, is pulled back to the ground.
Weighed down by broken dreams and future plans that will never come to be.
Shot from the sky by loneliness, pain, and the dark reality of this life.
Up and down, up and down, up and down I go,
On this cruel amusement park ride that never lets its sole passenger off.
As I ride, a voice taunts me, “Stupid girl, don’t you know that each time you build yourself up, it only makes the next fall hurt more?”
The voice laughs.
I never learn what a dangerous thing it is to hope.