Today I learned the truth
The truth you always told me
I was blinded by my feelings
Putting you up on a pedestal
I allowed myself to wallow in pity
But I never realized I was the one at fault
See I put myself here
I chose this path
The problems and mistakes will always make their appearances
But I pray I can overcome
For while the truth is necessary
It’s just one step of the process
And while I’ve already accepted
I still must overcome
This journey will be a long one
And I pray I last
But I’m not worried
Because I’ve never let myself down like this
And I won’t do it again

The holes gotten deeper
And I’ve dug harder
And you’ve watched me
You’ve watched me get swallowed up.
My breaths gotten ragged
And I’m still digging
And you’re still watching.
It’s like a race
Except it ends in one of us stopping.
Will my breath stop?
Or will you stop me?

My heads cloudy,
My thoughts up in the atmosphere.
I can’t think clearly,
I can barely breathe.
My body is slowly shutting down, I can feel it in my bones.
I take a step and my bones begin to creak.
My body is an old home,
Torn down for the new.
My thoughts, the ceiling above my head,
Crashes to the ground.
With it, all that is left of me.
I am my own home and now my home is gone.
“I” am gone.

3 years
Hoping they mean something
Hoping you didn't waste your time

3 years
Effort put in
Time you'll never get back

3 years
Taken by the one you gave everything to
Lost to someone you helped

3 years
I wasted
I lost
I surrendered
I gave up

3 years
I will never get back

3 years
I gave away

3 years
Gone.

One year from now I'll be receiving my future
One year from now I'll leave whatever I once knew for the great unknown
One year from now I'll be screaming for joy or crying in anguish
One year from now only one word, "congratulations", will matter to me
One year from now I'll be packing up my life
One year from now I'll be moving out
One year from now my future will be decided

This isn't a poem but I just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a safe and happy new year. May your resolution be met :).

Every night
I lay awake with my thoughts
Everything racing through my mind
There's no end in sight
I'm a prisoner of my own brain
The never ending twists and turns keeping me in its cage
I can't escape myself
And there's no one else to blame but me