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 Oct 2017 Karla Stripes
I hurt you,
because I want you
to love me.
I desert you,
because I want to
be chased.
I know I cause you pain,
I want to be your love's teary stain.
And when your fever keeps you up at night,
let my skin be your strap to bite.
All these things I do,
I want to hurt
for you.
sometimes i feel too much
sometimes i feel too little
i wish i could stay in that happy place
that lies right in the middle

when i feel too much
it's a torrent of emotion
a downpour of epic proportion
and i pray for it to end

yet when it does i don't feel enough
i'm numb, frozen, depressed.
I then pray for this to end
and i'd do anything to feel again

so i'm stuck in this happy limbo
never feeling quite right
like goldilocks in the three bear's house
i can't sleep at night
i used to be
afraid of death
isn't that funny
because now
i like killing myself
i like the feeling of
being torn apart by
other people's opinions
i beg them to tell the truth
even when i know
it's not what i want to hear
tell me
tell me you liked my hair longer
before i cut it short
tell me
tell me i'm too skinny
that i should put on some weight
tell me
tell me you're shocked
tell me i should know these basic things
i want the truth
not a sugar coating
and i don't exactly want it to hurt
but i'm starting to think
it is better than nothing
 Sep 2017 Karla Stripes
"I love you"
"I Hate you"
Really though they are the same
The more you HATE
The more you show how much you care
The more you LOVE
The more you're open to despair
"I love you..."
"I love you...."
"I LOVE YOU....."
Like I'm pleading for you to need me
Like I need you to want me
Your attention is all I want
Your touch is all I need
I scream in my own head over & over
And it's so good!
I can't take this anymore
Maybe I don't want you to need me
Please stop touching me
Why are we still doing this
"I hate you"
EVERY thing about you makes me mad
Your hair
Your eyes
The way you speak like you KNOW everything
News flash
You don't
"I hate you"
The way you walk
The soft skin you have
The way you held me
"I hate you"
That you made me feel
That you left
That you're not here
Not just Because loving you got So hard
But because
Hating you made me realize
How much 'I still love you"
Look into my eyes and what do you see ?
a soul, raging, whirling, trying to break free ?
or the tranquillity and tepidness of a sea at night ?
for you my love can see into the deep,
simple and naked as a child in sleep,
you see the ships that set sail for foreign lands,
to hidden treasure no one else understands,
you see the hands of the clock and all the pain,
the dark grey skies and the pouring rain,
the landscape of my heart and how it pleads,
to search your soul for what if needs,
sanctuary for what you will become,
under the warmth of my morning sun,
you can have it all if you could only see,
how it's only you that can set me free.
 Sep 2017 Karla Stripes
 Sep 2017 Karla Stripes
Like Rachel and Ross
So different, but so in love.
The beauty and the brains.
It doesn't always work but the love
the love
pulls through every time.
Maybe someday you'll be my Ross,
maybe you won't.
Have to watch "Friends" to really understand.
 Sep 2017 Karla Stripes
cry it out. a lot.
until you don’t have any tears left in your body.
until the pain makes your body and your emotions numb.
until you feel empty inside,
lying on the floor, wondering why there’s a stain on the ceiling.

sleep. a lot.
you’ll reach for their body in your bed to bring them closer,
but realize there’s nothing more than the cold mattress and the lonely blanket.
it won’t feel warm after a while.
it’s alright.

go out. a lot.
feel the coldness of the night wind on your red cheeks.
feel the warmness of the shots of ***** in your throat.
being surrounded by friends has never felt so essential.
they’re the special ones, the golden ones.
keep them close.

wait. a lot.
nothing will feel right for a while.
sometimes everything will feel better.
and then it’ll all suddenly come back in waves.
it’s alright.
it takes time to become whole again.
Qué tienes, qué tenemos,
qué nos pasa?
Ay, nuestro amor es una cuerda dura
que nos amarra hiriéndonos
y si queremos
salir de nuestra herida,
nos hace un nuevo nudo y nos condena
a desangramos y quemarnos juntos.
Qué tienes? Yo te miro
y no hallo nada en ti sino dos ojos
como todos los ojos, una boca
perdida entre mil bocas que besé, más hermosas,
un cuerpo igual a los que resbalaron
bajo mi cuerpo sin dejar memoria.
Y qué vacía por el mundo ibas
como una jarra de color de trigo
sin aire, sin sonido, sin substancia!
Yo busqué en vano en ti
profundidad para mis brazos
que excavan, sin cesar, bajo la tierra:
bajo tu piel, bajo tus ojos
bajo tu doble pecho levantado
una corriente de orden cristalino
que no sabe por qué corre cantando.
Por qué, por qué, por qué,
amor mío, por qué?
 Sep 2017 Karla Stripes
Ocean T
she touch types his name
into search bars,
and as
her index finger
holds down
delete___dele __de__.

she hears her own thoughts
recite each letter
even now,
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