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Apr 2017 · 1.4k
02/19/2017 (6:19am)
Karl Allen Apr 2017
May mga relasyon na masyadong masalimuot at halos ayaw mo nang pasukan.
At meron ding katulad ng sa atin.
Payapa.
Walang pagmamadali.
Hindi tahimik ngunit hindi ipinaalam sa mundo dahil alam natin pareho na ang sikreto ko ay sikreto mo.
At iniingatan ko ang mga sikreto mo na para bang sa akin din ito.
Hanggang hindi na sila sikreto ko o mo lamang kundi natin.
Hanggang ikaw at ako ay hindi na ikaw at ako lamang kundi tayo.
May mga sulat ako na para lamang sa mga mata mo.
May mga awit ako na para lamang sa mga tenga mo.
Ingatan mo silang lahat gaya ng pagiingat ko sa puso mo.
Mahal kita.
At patuloy na mamahalin pa.
Karl Allen Apr 2017
When everybody's ******* at you and you're acting so strong,
Faking those emotions and putting up a weak facade seems wrong
And when you try to tell yourself you don't give a ****
You swallow your words so hard, you can barely eat it.
'Coz the world don't care if you put your heart on what you do,
They will always find something to say about you.
How you should act, how you should sing
How your auto-tune ***** but praises others who do the same thing.

It was stupid, it was foolish for them to speak
When they don't feel how hard it is to work your way up to the peak.
You keep on climbing up fairly on your own
But others below you would pull your feet to lift themselves, just go on.
Hey, we all know the world's not all glitter and gold.
And we discovered that while we are growing old.
Still, we keep on climbing 'coz up there is where we should be.
We keep on climbing, clawing ourselves up so the world can see
That we're not gods and bullets will still **** the **** out of us
We're not gods and with their words, they can wreck us
Like facing a train head-on while you are tied on the railroad
Like running 50 miles with this ****** big load
But we keep on doing it 'cause we love what we do
And we do what we love hoping that they'll like it too.
Jul 2016 · 340
How I will Die
Karl Allen Jul 2016
I know every line and mark on your skin.
I know where they end and begin.
I know the marks that weren't there when you left the house today.
And I know it came from him.

God, I know everything about you because I memorized it.
I know each and every one of your mannerism.
The way you smile. The glow in your eyes.
The way you walk and talk. The way you handle the glasses when you drink.
I know every ******* thing about you because I memorized each and every one of them.
But you don't know that I'm hurting.
Because I never told you anything.
And it's killing me slowly inside.
Perhaps, this is just how I will die.
Karl Allen Jun 2016
And in the end, the love you take is the love you make.

-The Beatles

Isa ito sa mga argumentong dapat lamang pagtalunan.
Dahil hindi lahat ng pag-ibig na binibigay mo ay nasusuklian.
Masarap lamang itong pakinggan.

Noong inibig mo ako,
Hindi. Mas tamang sabihin na
noong naisip **** iniibig mo na ako,
Ay mas pinili **** huwag magbigay ng buo.
Hindi ko alam sa'yo pero ikaw na ang pinaka-duwag na taong nakilala ko.

Naaalala ko noon ang mga sugat at pilat na naiwan niyang nakatatak at nakakabit sa mga braso mo.
Nakikita ko ang mga bakas ng mga hampas nya sa mga balikat mo.
Bawat kagat at kalmot at gasgas na ibinigay n'ya sa'yo,
Sa mga pagkakataon na akala mo wala lang,
Naramdaman ko.
Pinaramdam mo silang lahat sa akin.

Anghirap palang pilitin na bumuo nang puso na ayaw magpabuo sa'yo.
Hindi ko din kasi alam dati na kailangan, ang kagustuhang maghilom,
Manggaling sa kanya mismo.

Pinilit kong pagtagpi-tagpiin ang mga piraso **** nakakalat sa sahig mula nang binitiwan ka n'ya.
Sinubukan kong gamutin ang lahat ng sakit na nagpapanatili sa iyong gising sa alas-tres ng umaga.
Pinili kong mahulog sa iyo kahit alam kong mas malabo pa sa tubig ng Ilog Pasig ang pag-asa
Na maisip **** sa iyo lang ako.
Iyong-iyo lang ako.

May mga pagkakataon na nakikita ng ibang tao ang mga pagbabago na akala nila ay ako ang dahilan pero ang hindi nila alam,
Sa dami at haba ng mga sakit na iyong naramdaman,
Natuto ka lamang na itago silang lahat sa loob mo.
Na sa kahit na anong oras, pwede silang lahat lumabas at lamunin na lang ako ng buo.
Oo.
Ako.
Dahil mas pinili kong lumapit sa'yo.
Iyong-iyo lang ako.

May mga pagkakataon na gusto kong isipin
Na ang bagong taginting ng mga tawa mo ay dahil sa akin.
Na ang mga panaginip mo kapag ikaw ay mahimbing, ako ang laman.
Na ang mga pangarap mo sa hinaharap ay ako ang hiling.
At ang bawat pulso mo ay para sa akin lamang.
Dahil sa iyo lang ako.
Iyong-iyo lang ako.

Pero hindi.
Dahil andami mo nang natutunang paraan para magtago.
Napakadami na ng mga pagkakataon na sinayang mo.

Ang akala mo, lahat ng pagkabigo mo sa pag-ibig dati
Ay natulungan kang maging mas malakas, mas matatag, mas matalino.
Pero hindi.
Dahil papasok sa isang bagong pag-ibig ay tinangay mo lahat ng galit.
Iniwan mo ang mga aral na natutunan mo maliban sa "Ang pag-ibig ay hindi dapat pagkatiwalaan."
Ang tanging bagay na hinahabol mo, na pinipilit **** makuha,
Na pinipilit mo dating kapitan kahit na wala na,
Ang bagay na akala mo ay lubos sa iyong magpapasaya,
Tinitignan mo na may pagdududa ang iyong mga mata.
At unti-unti kang nabulag.
At hindi mo nakita ang pagibig na nasa harap mo na.
Lumipad at nawala.

Hindi bulag ang pag-ibig.
Bulag ang mga taong pinipilit tumingin sa araw dahil gusto nilang makakita ng liwanag ngunit ayaw alisin ang kanilang mga de-kolor na antipara.

Wala kang natutunan sa nakaraan.
Hindi ka nga nasasaktan.
Hindi mo naman mahagilap ang tunay **** kaligayahan.
May 2016 · 512
A letter for Arden
Karl Allen May 2016
How would I like my kid to be?
Perhaps, he will never be like me.
But still I like him to be

As brave as a man who can
Stand up for what he believes
And defend his beliefs as a man.

As calm and composed as a lake.
Never have his emotions out of place
Without a need to hide his face.

As passionate as the fire
Of a thousand burning cinders
For his conviction will never dwindle.

As ardent-eyed as an arrow
That has a sure direction where to go
And will never miss the mark, lo!

But most of all, I want him to be
A person who simply see
What others fail to see.

For what the world regards as important,
There are things that doesn't shine
But matters more than

What you can touch or see,
What your ears can hear.
It's what's inside. That is him.

And perhaps, that's how I would like him to be.
The very first poetry I wrote for my son.
Mar 2016 · 428
Never the distance.
Karl Allen Mar 2016
A favorite poet of mine once said,
"Let love rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."
With the winds guiding the waves towards each other's beach.
Uncertain of how it would reach its destination and may touch other island's shorelines.
But so sure that it would be the same water that would kiss each other's sands.
And I believed him.
But he was so wrong.

Because it wasn't the distance that kept us apart.
But time, every tic of its hands,
Time that I was supposed to spend right beside you,
Slowly fading. Dissolving.
Slowly passing.
Worse than being thieved by
Because if it passes, you cannot catch it back.
And I am ****** and frustrated
Because it seems like it's just time that is the true measure.
It's just time that's the very basis.
And, for me, only time spent beside you is what matters.
Mar 2016 · 339
With you.
Karl Allen Mar 2016
To be lost in the middle of nowhere with you
Is something that I would love to repeatedly do.
At the break of dawn or whenever,
Because I know that as long as I'm with you, at any given day,
I am never lost.
I will always be where I am supposed to be.
With you.
Jan 2016 · 592
Train Verses
Karl Allen Jan 2016
Al perderte yo a ti, tú y yo hemos perdido:
yo, porque tú eras lo que yo más amaba;
y tú, porque yo era el que te amaba más.
Pero de nosotros dos tú pierdes más que yo:
porque yo podré amar a otras como te amaba a ti,
pero a ti no te amarán como te amaba yo.

-Ernesto Cardenal, Granada, Nicaragua

_________________­_

When I lost you, we both lost something:
I, because I loved you too much
And you, because it is I whom loved you the most.
But between the two of us, it is you who lost the most:
Because I can love anybody the way that I loved you
But you will never be loved the same way that I used to.

-Ernesto Cardenal, Granada, Nicaragua
This is a rough translation of Ernesto Cardenal's poem. Please excuse my limited understanding of Spanish. It has been quite sometime since I last used it.
Karl Allen Jan 2016
The first time you told me that you don't love me anymore,
I slept for 12 hours hoping that I never wake up.
And when I woke up, I just found myself wanting to sleep again
Because reality bites
And it bit me big time it left its mark on my skin.
Reality bit me so hard it sunk its teeth on my flesh until it reached the deepest part of my bones.
But, more than that, reality bit me so ******* hard it reached something much deeper than my veins.
It reached something deeper where I cannot tend to my wounds that it caused me.

And I found myself wanting to sleep again.

I was hoping that shutting my thoughts down with sleep will help me forget you
But I was wrong
Because in my dreams, I was holding your hands.
And even though you were pulling it away from me, I had the strength to hold on to it and I never let you go.
How I wish I had the strength to hold on to you while I was awake
The same way that I am telling you in my dreams how my fingers fit the spaces between yours.
How I was insisting to you that being with me was the perfect thing to do
Because it's perfect when I am with you.

And I found myself wanting to sleep again.

Because in my dreams, you are still with me
Even though. at the back of my conscious mind,
I'm aware that you weren't there
And that it was all a mirage.
But it doesn't hurt this much.
It doesn't hurt this much...
When sleep is my companion.
This is my first attempt in doing a Spokenword Poetry in English. I'm sorry. No time to proof-read. I'm sorry.
Jan 2016 · 311
Untitled
Karl Allen Jan 2016
Hello, my dear Hello Poetry Friends!
Can you please suggest Spoken word poetry videos that I can listen to?
The performer in me is yearning,
But I cannot find the courage to stand on a stage and blurt it out.
I need a refuge.
I need it like an addict asking for my daily shots.
Pretty please?
Any Spoken word poetry will do.
But if you know of the Hate stage ones, that would be very much appreciated.
Jan 2016 · 3.3k
Zodiac Signs
Karl Allen Jan 2016
When a Scorpio loves a Taurus
All hell breaks loose.
Every law of the Zodiac states
That you should both stay away
Because one will be wronged by the other
But no one will back down from their ideals.
And while Scorpios are ruled by water,
Earth will define Taurus'principles.

You see, I don't believe these things as I'm a man of reasons.
But since we've been together, I was inclined to believe such notions.
You, my Taurus lover, can not be more bull-headed in nature.
While I, your ground crawling envoy, will always be emotionally immature.
While you thrive in knowing all of my secrets as your version of trust,
I will always keep one or two of them up my sleeves for my ruse.
And, yes, as you know very well, I am indeed very jealous
But you are so stubborn and you **** the hell out of my arseholes.
Oh please, excuse my language.

And now, I am inclined to believe this Zodiac stuff
As they are proving to be accurate and exact.
But if I can believe such things as the Zodiac,
If I can believe people who read the stars in the sky as if they are books,
Why should I not believe in us?
Why should I not believe in the possibility
That your stars and mine are destined to be entangled
And that each of their lights will be used for each other's counsel.
That, we, in our own little world, can persevere to be with each other.
After all, we make the best *** partners.
Oh, again, excuse my language.

And excuse me for saying this, my bull-headed Taurus lover.
But we complete each other.
Jan 2016 · 313
Free
Karl Allen Jan 2016
I wonder why they call this stuff free verse?
Is it because they do not follow a certain set of rules for writing?
Is it because boundaries that have been set by Shakespeare have been shattered
And we now call ourselves free men because we are not owned by Creole's anymore?

Guess what? You're wrong.

I came from a country that have been enslaved by Conquestadors for three-hundred years.
And even though we call ourselves free(we've got our own government and all),
We always choose to serve foreign people.
We leave our family, travel to a foreign land,
Serve other people's daughters and sons
But can never be there when our own kids blow their candles for their first birthday.

Am I really free?
I guess slavery isn't something that you can erase that easily.
Jan 2016 · 512
Untitled
Karl Allen Jan 2016
**** it.
Last night, I didn't get any sleep.
I am awake for the last 24 hours thinking
How I never even got an inkling
That things are going south between us
And as such, you left without any promises of coming back.
But I didn't believe you.
So I waited for the next 12 hours telling myself,
"She will come back."
"She'll realize she's wrong."
"She will definitely come back."
"I can never be wrong."
But I was.
And it was the worst mistake that I've ever made.
How I just let you slip between my fingers.
How I never even bothered to read between your words.
How I let you look at him without even asking what was between the two of you.
How you speak about him all the time, but I never cared.
Now, all that I can think of is you and how you managed to find the reasons to leave me
But never even bothered to find one reason to stay.
And **** you for that.
I can never sleep again.
Because my dreams are filled with the sound of your laughs
And the feel of your touches.
And I will never sleep again.
Because rest will only give me more time to think of you
And I don't want to think of you anymore.
I swear, I will never think of you anymore.
Dec 2015 · 242
Sorry
Karl Allen Dec 2015
I would like to say sorry
Not for the things that I have done when we were together
But for the things I never did.
Sorry for the words I never said.
Sorry for the moments I had with you but never missed.
Sorry for the tears I never shed when you left.
Sorry for the calls I never answered when you rung.
Sorry for the many times there are three words on the tip of my tongue
But I never let it slip.
Sorry for not holding your hand while we were walking together.
Sorry for not keeping my promises when it mattered.
Sorry for not betting on you when you believed in yourself so much
Not that it matters now, I know it doesn't.
Anymore.
Not anymore.
And sorry for not loving you forever
When I always told you I would.
Nov 2015 · 301
I. We. You.
Karl Allen Nov 2015
I shivered at the thought of you
The same way I quivered when I was on top of you
And I relished the thought of you
The same way I let out a moan when I was in you.

We swayed through the rhythm of our own hearts

We danced together, moved together
Until the stars in the sky are no longer
Just flashing lights that seems so far.
we danced together, moved together
Until the cold wind heats up and
It kissed our personal scars.

We swayed through the rhythm of our own hearts
And the rain is now a melody that plays on our tin roof.

You are no longer a maze for me
But that is because I am no longer a stranger.
I am now a part of your walls, of the moss that hung on your stones, on the vines that's creeping all over you.
And you, are no longer a mystery
But that is because I am no longer seeking.
I am now a part of the thing that I seek. I am now a part of you.

We swayed through the rhythm of our own hearts
And the rain is now a melody that plays on our tin roof
And we do not need anybody aside from our bodies hugging each other.
Nov 2015 · 524
We will never be the same
Karl Allen Nov 2015
And you know that.
And it hurts.
But we choose our own path.
And we get what we deserve.
And if these scattered, shattered glasses
Will show how we truly feel,
Then, love, I tell you this.
I wish I could make the world stand still
And I will stop tomorrow from coming
And we will never let go of each other.
Oh, if the world can stand still,
I will stop the world from turning
And we can stay like this forever.
But the sun's shining from this hotel room's window pane.
Our borrowed time ends here.
You should go home to him, and me, to her.
And we will never be the same.
Farewell, my ever carefree refuge
where I spent the night with a happy heart.
Goodbye, my ever lovely escape.
With a heavy soul, we will part.
But. tell me, please, if we are wrong, if we have sinned,
why was the happiest moments of my life was when you and I kissed?
Is love really that simple, small, and of less value
That it can only be shared by two people?
Is love really that weak, fragile, and will they crucify you
If love is proven to be that feeble?
Please, give me answers, please.
Because we will never be the same
And I will never be the same person as I am, for I forever have to bear the pain.
Nov 2015 · 107.6k
Sa Pagibig
Karl Allen Nov 2015
(On love by Kahlil Gibran ; A Translation)
Kung magkataon na tawagin ka ng pag-ibig, sumunod ka,
Kahit pa ang daan niya'y mahirap at matarik.
At kung yakapin ka ng kanyang mga pakpak ay magpaubaya ka,
Kahit pa ang mga punyal na nakatago sa kanyang mga balahibo ay kaya kang sugatan.
At kung mangusap siya sa iyo ay maniwala ka,
Kahit pa ang kanyang tinig ay kayang durugin ang iyong mga pangarap
Tulad ng pagsira ng hanging habagat sa mga halamanan.

Sapagkat kung paano ka parangalan ng pagibig ay ganoon ka din niya ipapako sa Krus.
‘Pagkat kahit pa siya'y para sa iyong paglago ay ganun din siya para sa iyong pagka-bulok.
Kahit pa pinayayabong ka nito sa iyong pinaka-mataas at hinahaplos ng liwanag nito ang iyong mga sanga,
Ganoon din niya huhugutin ang iyong mga ugat mula sa pagkakabaon nito sa lupa.

Tulad ng mga butil ng mais ay itinatali ka nito sa kanyang sarili.
Binabayo ka niya upang mahubdan
Ginigiling hanggang sa kuminis.
Minamasa hanggang sa lumambot
At ika'y kanyang isasalang sa kanyang banal na apoy, upang ika'y maging banal na alay na ihahain sa banal na pista ng Panginoon.

Ang lahat ng ito'y gagawin ng pagibig upang malaman mo ang mga lihim ng iyong puso, at sa kaalamang iyon ay maging bahagi ng puso ng buhay.

Ngunit kung sa iyong pagkatakot ay hanapin mo lamang ang kapayapaan at kasiyahan ng pagibig,
Ay mabuti pang ika'y magbihis at lumiban sa kanyang giikan,
Sa isang mundong walang kulay kung saan ikaw ay tatawa, ngunit hindi
lahat ng iyong kasiyahan, at iiyak, ngunit hindi lahat ng iyong luha.
Walang ibinibigay ang pagibig kundi ang kanyang sarili at walang tinatanggap kundi ang galing din sa kanya.
Ang pagibig ay hindi nang-aangkin at nagpapa-angkin ;
Sapagkat ang pagibig ay sasapat lamang sa pagibig.

Kapag ika'y umibig hindi mo dapat sabihing, “Ang Diyos ay nasa aking puso,” kung hindi, “Ako ay nasa puso ng Diyos.”
At 'wag **** isipin na kaya **** diktahan ang pagibig, 'pagkat ang pagibig, kung matantong ika'y karapat-dapat, ay ididikta sa iyo ang iyong landas.

Walang kagustuhan ang pagibig kung hindi tuparin ang kanyang sarili.
Ngunit kung ikaw ay umibig at mangailangan, maging ito ang iyong kailanganin:
Ang matunaw at umagos na parang batis na umaawit sa gabi.
Ang malaman ang sakit ng lubos na pagaaruga.
Ang masugatan sa iyong sariling kaalaman ng pagibig;
At masaktan ng kusang-loob at may ligaya.
Ang gumising sa bukang-liwayway ng may pusong kayang lumipad at magbigay pasasalamat sa isang bagong araw ng pagibig;
Ang magpahinga sa tanghali at magnilay sa sarap ng pagibig;
Ang umuwi sa hapon ng puno ng pasasalamat;
At matulog nang may panalangin para sa minamahal sa iyong puso at awit ng papuri sa iyong mga labi.

— The End —