A teenage giggling love
Being lived by 30 somethings
This time is differant
This time its real
True blue love

In your arms i feel safe
You only second to mom
Your smile reassures me
Your touch ,i know you desire me
You have become home

You make the stars twinkle more intense
The moon is enchanting
A love romance not an inlove romance
I embrace the night
Lovers meet and passion ignite

Lean slender body and limbs
Looks it not but strong
Pulls me, bossy and hungry
Kisses demanded
My full attention
Electric charges rush through the body
Hands speak no words
We cannot resist

Soon being apart the usual 2 nights
Torture it will become
Bibo cranky fussing and biting
Put a ring on it
Together forever

i also need help
can't help my quills
please don't mind the pain
i try to keep them flat
old memory confuse new emotions
my defenses flare up
kicking screaming and fussing
i draw blood
no one wants to come close
afraid
alone in the knife drawer i live
exiled
deemed dangerous and edgy
these 6 enclosures
no windows
alone
my stubborn nature
refuse to yield
i will over come
a home i made
i love my home
my comfort and haven
small heaven to me
no porch light
no second chances
forgiveness lives next door

why do i feel empty
why do i feel used
nothing was forced
my true feelings betray my inner monologue
how to determine to keep holding your hand
at a loss for words and action , i am
can you sense my inner turmoil
do you pretend not to notice
afraid for the answer that lies between the murky
usually crystal clear free flowing thoughts
maybe my tiredness the cause
a flash flood
what have i done
stupid impulsive make believe queen

loving you has always been an endless struggle
but you are all i have
circumstance forces me to acknowledge this
your death will leave me orphaned
my children will never know their gran parents
your house will never vibrate with children's laughter
the hand we are dealt , struggle
everything comes to an end
courage needed to continue on a new path
unknown below my feet
cautious
we fight hard
we battle fierce
we never bonded
no house to be found
but i love you
you the start of my bloodline
you failed me
time heals but trust broken cannot be restored
but dare i say
love covers all
my inner turmoil over come by fear of being alone
fresh the memory of heartache so complete it nearly killed me
completely alone on my path
to me i was dead just breathing

once i n anger and hatred
i prayed for your last breath to make haste
i longed to be free of you
considered the blood curse on my life
endless source of suffering in silence
now i fear the moment your last breath come
i pray it evades you
for when it depart

orphaned i will be

Lack of courage
To tell the truth
It will sting
Clever play on words
Edgy jokes
But real eyes
Realise the truth
Although hidden
Age means time spend
Nothing changes over time
Except time
Age brings wisdom from heartache
You claim love
I sense the unsertainty in you
You lack courage
I already know

When eve cry
Angels rush
To catch each tear
Emergency love thread
Catch each broken piece
Slowly gently thread eve whole
The cracks remain
Gold of giving
Gold of love
Gems of faith
Heat of gods love
Mend eve's broken pieces whole again
The mending a memory
The day satan tried to **** god's eve
Heavens darling
Paid with jesus's blood
Your master and creator will never surrender you
Love unending and true

FEAR
my nemesis
between my ears the battle ground
my courage
corroded by fear
my hope
imprisoned by fear
my future
dependent on the daily victories
small and big
each thought matter

in my fantasy world
i live with passion and conviction
fearless
reality , i am a shadow
never truly taking responsibility
never making a declaration
to take my freedom
yes my freedom
to destroy my jail of fear
brick by brick
one negative word at at time
i was born free
now i claim my freedom from a fear filled existance