Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I hate when people say things to try to make me feel better.
Why can't you be honest and say what's on your mind.
So what if I'm hurting,
I just want to know the truth about everything.

Good things come to those who wait.
I am so sick of hearing it.
I've be waiting for so long,
it feels like hundreds of years.

Maybe I was reincarnated from the past.
Maybe I found the one already,
but it was in a different time.
And maybe now in this decade I need to find him.

I wish that was true.
But I'd have no idea what he'd be like.
Yet I know when I see him,
it'll feel like a real kind of love.
One that's been around for years.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
Go slow girl,
You can't rush this.

It won't be the same anymore,
in the dark for too long.

Nobody ever comes back.

Don't rush it,
you should know this by now.

It's not him anymore.

Stay your distance girl,
don't get too close.

Give it time,
go slow.
Don't rush it.

Stop being frustrated girl,
that won't help you at all.
I know,
I know.

I can't sleep.

All I can think about is them together

Etched in my mind forever.
It can't be erased,
it never will be.

Just go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning

More scenarios,
more thoughts.

This is unhealthy,
but so was that.

Breathe,
think of something else.

How can I think of anything but that?

Shh,
go slow.
Don't rush this,
don't mess this up.
Kaitlin Frost Oct 2012
First sight matters okay?
It determines everything.
Not judging.
Just saying.
But I saw you standing there just waiting.
Waiting for what?
For some over priced coffee over the counter or something bigger?
We sent each other funny faces,
Of course.
Remember?
I want this to last.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2012
I am drowning in all of this.
It's hard to sit here and pretend I am okay.
I am not okay.
You won't understand me if I say I am scared.
You'll try to hold me and tell me it'll be okay,
But that's what scares me.
I don't know how relationships work.
At all.
I am not good at it.
I am better off alone.
It is hard to explain why.
Why I am the way I am.
If you asked,
I couldn't tell you either.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
They took everything from her.
They.
Whatever those things are don't deserve names.
Not for what they did.
Just pretend you're somewhere else
You never realize what's happened
until after he's done.

You put a pillow over your own face because you're embarrassed the first time,
but you get used to it.
He's charming and always has the right thing to say.
It's fun dancing out in the night,
breaking the rules and not caring about anything.
The window opens and closes.
Heavy breaths in the middle of the night.
Just hoping your parents don't walk in.
What? You'll like it.

His friend thinks it'd be good to get back at him.
Yeah it'll be fun.
Curbside fun.
No cars drive by.
God please someone drive by.
I'm not done yet keep going.
He thought it was such a big joke.

Wow what a sweet car.
Meaningless texts,
turning into meaningless drives.
It's okay, no one will see.
I know a place we can go.
This doesn't feel right.
It happens again,
and again.

You're such a ****, I know what you did.
How could you do this?

So you like theatre huh?
Wow that was such a good monologue.
He's like Romeo, and I Juliet.
Turn your face away from the garish light of day
Oh he's so romantic.
How'd I get to this place.
I can do this, I can handle myself.
Caressing and kissing.
God please don't leave me with him
I think I'm going to be sick.
It keeps on going,
does this ever stop?
It's so dark, I don't want to see his face.
Are you sure you want to do this?
No.
NO.
I don't want to do this get off me!

Yeah I'm kind of a big deal.
Wow he's cuter in person.
Why don't we hang out?
Oh my god yes.
The window opens and closes.
Not in my bed,
please no.
Of course.

No not you again.
He's still charming
He is drunk this time.
He always is now.
God I hate the smell of smoke.
Am I the only sober person here?
Frost, you know I love you right?
No.
No you don't.
You don't know a **** thing about me.
And you never will.

Country boy country wide.
Get in that big ole truck girl.
Riding in the moonlight.
Wow there's a lot more space back here than it looks.

You did what?!

Yeah I put in notches for every girl I bring back here

I am not just a notch.
I am a person
I am sick of being touched and grabbed.
Somebody just listen to me.

MONTHS LATER

No I don't want to go out,
I don't feel like it.
But I love Braums.
Standing impatiently in line waiting.
Waiting,
wait.
Who is he?
I can't look away.
I feel the magnetic pull towards him.
God he's perfect.
Hey can you give him my number?
11:00pm
Purple Hat.
Starbucks?
Oh I don't know.
What if he's like them
No, he's different.
Yeah sure I'll meet you there.
Four hours later.
A familiar warm embrace.
Well it was nice meeting you
Yeah you too.


I think you're my knight in shining armor
I'm saved.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I sit down like I'm six years old again,
I hold my dear stuffed animal to me,
I grab my salty snacks,
and I watch a Disney movie.

Not a particular one,
because they all have that same thing in them at one point or another,
true love

When I was six years old,
I always wondered what it would be like to be in love with someone.
Would I get to wear a big dress all the time?
Would I get my own pair of Venetian glass slippers?
Would I meet somebody unexpectedly and they would whisk me away?
Would somebody want to search the whole entire kingdom for me until they found me?
Would somebody finally love me for me and nothing else mattered?

Maybe exclude the dress, the shoes, and the kingdom part,
but yes it could definitely happen.

I remember I would sit down and write things that I would say to my true love,
when I met him.
Just silly little things I guess.
I would pretend that I was getting married and I would walk down the hallway,
pretending to be walking down the aisle to him.

I guess in theory I am still that six year old little girl,
in pure awe and imagination of what it would be like to be someone's princess.
To be fought for and rescued from some horrible fate.
I think it's possible to have that still,
I pray it is.
I still dream of being married one day,
to the most perfect person in the whole world.
They may not be perfect,
but they are to me.
I dream they will take every breath in their body and fight for me,
or they will use every waking hour and search the kingdom to find me.

The world is a gray and colorless place,
but I return to my dreams,
my hopes,
and my imagination.

And maybe someday,
instead of having to dream of these things,
I can be awake while they happen.
Kaitlin Frost Jul 2015
she could end it all.
no one could stop her.
complete power in her small hands.
finally some control over something.
the bath water would no longer be clear,
but burn crimson red.
nobody was there.
all alone with herself,
and her thoughts.
her stupid mouth and her stupid thoughts.
she hated herself.
like no other hatred.
her body her mind her soul,
swallowed by the darkness and
consumed by the crimson red.
she was a good girl,
she did was she was told.
she brought happiness to others,
and smiles and tears.
she was troubled,
but all smiles.
no one would of thought she would do it.
she was smart enough to know.
she should have been smarter.
but she never could measure up to anything.
she was a disgrace.
her broken body and soul lay across the floor.
all she ever wanted in life,
gone.
gone
the crimson red rushed around her shattered being,
giving her an ethereal glow.
she looked happy, at peace.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I crumble down,
Like the fool I am.

I cry for you,
I beg for you.
My heart is calling out to you.

Why don't you talk to me.

God this is torture.

Go back to normal,
We need to go back to normal.

But this isn't even close.

Please enough of all of this.

I want us back.

I will fight until I can't fight anymore.

You're holding something back.
Is there someone else?

Honesty.

I don't want to suffer anymore,
Just tell me.

I want you more than life.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I just want to be able to feel again.
I am numb.

My heart is ripped out from my chest.

Is it really over?
It can't be.
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry.

Is there someone else?
I hope not,
Because that's the worst thing to picture.
I don't see anyone else by your side.

It's best not to think about that.
We need a break.

I don't give up that easily.



*I want you forever, you and me, everyday.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
No matter what way it goes
I'm still broken.
A piece of me had been taken each time.
This time,
It was a huge piece.

I'm walking with a bag,
Filled with those little pieces of me.
I'm trying to put them together,
But no one will help me.

Am I broken beyond repair?
I feel like I'm already gone.
I left such a long time ago and I never came
Back.

It's just a swirling mist inside
My mind.
Nothing makes sense to me.

I see myself in the mirror and I sob.
Who is this girl
God I feel sorry for her
I don't know who I am anymore.
I don't know how to feel.

Was it all for nothing.

I retrieve the chunks of myself,
Spread out across the floor.
They're much heavier than last time.
I open my bag and spilll them in.
I walk the lonely road,
On and on again.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I think back on everything,
how amazing it was.

How amazing it still is.

I don't want to lose you

I'm gonna make you realize how much I care.
I want to make you understand so badly.

*I love you
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I am at the end of a paved road.
Your taillights are getting dimmer and dimmer.
It is quiet in the world,
like my thoughts.
Am I too shocked or too confused.
Both I think.
I am in denial.
I walk aimlessly.
Who knows where I am going,
I don't really care where.
The world just lost its color-
everything seems gray.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I see you at the door with flowers.
A big grin on your face.
"I'm sorry".
"I'm sorry too ***."
I'm wrapped in your warm embrace.
I feel your heart beating,
And your sweaty palms.
I smell you again.
I'm at peace

I wake up.

The room is dark and cold,
And the wind howls against
The window.
I'm utterly alone.
Shadows of my past dance wildly.
The candle flame gently waves.
The space next to me is vacant and cold.

I dream and dream and dream.
Kaitlin Frost Sep 2016
i am the girl that sleeps all day
i'm that girl that never puts her laundry away

i am the girl that sings in the car
i'm that girl that looks from afar

i am the girl that makes all the jokes
i'm that girl that has high hopes

i am the girl that lives selflessly
i'm that girl caring, effortlessly

i am the girl that is broken from inside,
i'm that girl wounded from a guy

i am the girl your mother warned you about
i'm that girl.

because i can never live up to the pedestal expectations of society.
i can't be your cam girl.
i can't reply to your two am text.
i can't say yes when my body says no.
i can't pretend like it's okay when it isn't.

i just can't

i am not that girl
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2017
I am a scientist
No
I am a woman
Yes
Sometimes I feel like one over the other
It’s so much easier for me to be **** for you than it is to be smart
You could see me make the long draws and pauses with the press of my lips in the light of a projector
Or you could see my lips become one with you
Tick tock tick tock
Such little time to find who you are inside
I have the arms that come from the walls and shush me and mock me and pin me down and remind me what I really am
And then the song I’ve been meant to sing tells me differently

But in the flash I quickly turn from what was flesh into something with meaning and purpose and that’s nice and all but after a night of listening to you bellow about all of that science **** I’d just like to see you on my bed
Where’s those **** pics?
Where’s my invitation?
Where’s that pretty little smile?

Who asked you?

When did toppling down the mountain that is woman become such a sport to the hungry lions circling the den?

You can be smart but you can’t be ****,
And you can be **** but you definitely can’t be smart.
There’s this never ending cycle with the click of a flash and there I am in all my glory back to the arms in the walls pushing me and prodding me and beckoning me with their ***** fingernails.

I am a scientist,
Yes,
A woman.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
Could the answer really be that simple.

No,
I won't believe it.

It's not right to do this to a person,
Or anyone in general.
It's wrong.

I'm not sugar coating it any longer.

Take me to bed, or lose me forever.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
Zero.
Zero.
Zero.

Nobody there.

But that's probably a good thing.
I can't really tell yet.
But then again I can't really talk to you about it anymore.
I can't talk to anyone anymore I guess.

When it gets to the point where I have to ask someone,
Am I worth it anymore?
It's not the breaking point.
But it is rock bottom.
Rejected by the lowest of the low.
Ouch.

I run through the crowds of people,
trying to gasp for some air.
It's like nobody even sees me anymore.
I'm just another pretty face lost in a sea of people now.
I'm just like everybody else.

I need that spark again.
Just that smudge of light lost in the darkness of the world.
I found it once,
but it's lost now.
I want that spark that makes me feel human again.
Lets me know that I mean more than this.
Makes me happy to be alive and breathing everyday.
Makes me want to get out and live my life.
Something to live for.

I can't let rejection get to me anymore.
Because all I see is nothing.
*Zero
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
It's hard to be something that you're not.

It's hard to try and be patient.
It's hard to try and look good for class,
but I'd rather get to sleep in.
It's hard for my heart to be in two cities.
It's hard to plaster a smile on my face,
even when I am struggling to even
get out of bed in the morning.

I have bags under my eyes,
but you can't tell what they're from.
Have I been crying?
Or am I just exhausted?
No one has to know I guess.
Or just doesn't care.

It's hard to be so calm and confident,
when inside you're screaming.
Everyone is yelling at you.

You can't do anything right

You're stressing me out

You need to apologize

You need to get on your knees and beg for mercy

Beg.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
Do you feel better this way?

In what way specifically do you mean that question.
Can you please explain that question.

If by the question,
You mean if I feel better alone?  

Alone.

I hate that word.

I was alone for so long,
I kind of liked it back then.

Everything changed though.

Instead of needing space,
I don't want any.

I am intrusive,
and needy.

Alone

I've been alone my whole life.
Up until now.

I was alone all those nights,
I hadn't even met you yet.

I felt like I already knew you were coming though.

Alone

I hate being in a silent room with my thoughts,
because they bounce around my head and
flood into my room.
It brings the darkness in.

In my thoughts they tire my brain,
so many decisions,
so many scenarios,
too many painful thoughts.

My life would be better if I couldn't think bad thoughts.
I think too much.
Over-analyzing and pretending.
Imagining.
It's too much to bear
Alone
Kaitlin Frost May 2015
My mind gets to the point where it's done,
I can't take it anymore.
You say you love me,
why don't you show it then?
I can only do so much.
Drinks and drinks and drinks.
I am waiting patiently,
maybe not so patiently.
Is that your car?
No.
Is that you coming home?
No.
All there is in this house is yelling and fighting.
I know how you feel
I do,
I really do.
You give me everything I need and want.
It's like a ticking time bomb sometimes.
Just the slightest push or shove,
and BOOM

I want you here with me.
Where are you?
I am waiting patiently,
maybe not patiently.
Kaitlin Frost Oct 2012
Just another pretty face
Just another girl with big *****
Just another girl with the great curves
Just another girl,
Who could resist?
Just.
Another.
Girl.
I am more than this.
A pretty face doesn’t get you far in life.
Or so you think.
My face hides more than you would imagine.
Aching pain, horrors not meant to be seen.
In my head there is so much going back and forth.
I am so nervous I feel like I am going to be sick.
Emotions pile miles high inside of me.
Sometimes I feel like I could explode with anger.
Or cry myself to sleep.
Or maybe just fake everything with that stupid grin on my face.
What did she do?
She said that about you?
You won’t believe what she did.
Can you even believe her?
Lies lies lies lies lies lies.
Looking out into the crowd,
and everyone’s beady eyes looking back.
He’s not there, stop looking.
Oh yeah and him?
Forget it,
Because he already forgot you.
You’re nothing to them.
Just some piece of meat they can take
Swings at.
Life is so hard isn’t it.
You poor poor thing.
So go ahead,
Pretend to be something that you sure as hell
Aren’t.
Wow I am so sorry about that girl.
Yeah don’t even worry about it,
You’ll find someone.
Knowledge is painful, but
Beauty is a burden.
Open your mouth,
And tell somebody.
Kaitlin Frost Oct 2012
I fell in love when I saw you standing there.
I'm serious.
It was just like
Wow.
Speechless.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I am a tumbleweed in the wind.
Blown from place to place.
I know I'm supposed to go somewhere,
but for now I'm lost.
I'm pushed into desolate places,
with almost no light.
I'll end up someplace eventually,
but I'm here.
And there.
I have a purpose.
I have a meaning.
I've been lost more times
than found.
I'm on a broken road,
trying to find my way to you.
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2012
I wish I was with you now.
Wrapped in your warm embrace.
I feel a lot safer there than anywhere else
In the world.
I love you to the moon and back.
They call me crazy because I say I'm in
Love.
I am warm inside and smile bright.
I love the way you love me.
I love the way you can make me laugh.
I love the way you kiss me.
I love the way you look when you talk to me.
I love everything.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
It's slow but steady.
The rhythm in my heart has picked up again.
We're not perfect,
But it's a start.
I want to go back to the night.
The night that changed everything.
I see you standing there,
And I swear I'm flying.
*Everything will be okay
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
Hello darkness,
did you miss me?

You have hold of him,
and you need to let him go.

I've faced the demons in my life,
and they come creeping by,
just every so often.
I stare them in the face,
unafraid and unwilling to fall.
Not this time.

They've made me human,
they've made me a person

I've learned these human emotions,
and I can feel

I can cry,
I can yell,
I can be as happy as I can be.

The darkness doesn't choose its victims,
but you don't know where it strikes.

In the pure of heart,
and the most wicked of souls.

It devours us all,
piece by piece.

*Hello darkness my old friend
Kaitlin Frost Oct 2012
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it,
to be with someone.
I mean, who really wants to go through all of that?
Emotions
Heartbreak
Emptiness
Nothing.
What if it is hard to be with me because I want to be alone sometimes,
or that I can be hard to handle or trust?
Why do you do that with someone?
But then I figure it's worth it,
because why does everybody want it so bad?
Out
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
Out
There is a light at the end of the tunnel,
But it's not visible yet.
I'm waiting for the fog to pass over.

Is this worth all these tears anymore.
I'm more broken than I was before.

I'm just another *****,
Just another notch,
Just another girl.
Nothing special.
I sure as hell don't feel like it.

No I don't have guys swooning over me,
I can't get someone like that,
I don't have someone on call for a date.

That's just not me.

But I sure as hell have some dignity.

I'm not some dog that's gonna beg for you.

I'm gonna save you some trouble and rip my heart
Right out for you,
And send it right back.

Something needs to be fixed
And it sure as hell ain't me.

I've been through hell and back,
And if that ain't enough for ya,
I'm sure that she is
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2012
Life is good.
Life is cozy.
Life is perfect.
Life is all about you.
Making me smile,
And laugh,
And just letting me be me.
Life is perfect.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I see an elderly man give his wife a kiss on her fore head.
I see a new dad smiling brightly at his new baby and his glowing wife.
I see a couple beginning their journey as man and wife.

I see these things already,
and I feel like it's on purpose.
Like it's some sick joke meant to toy with me,
but sometimes it's not so bad.
It's nice to see that happiness around me.

There are some things that I have to sort out,
and there are some things I just need to let go.

I go out to meet this guy,
but I know he's not the one.
Still knowing that,
I still go.
Maybe out of my self-pity,
or just to clear my thoughts.

It's hard waiting for something so good to come along,
but I know in my heart it'll be worth it all.
It's time for me to get the little pieces of myself back,
and put myself back together.

Whoever I will meet in the future
doesn't deserve to have what's left of my heart,
they deserve the entire thing,
not bits and pieces.
Crumbs

I continue on,
not knowing what to expect.
Only knowing that one day,
it'll all be worth it.
And when I see him,
I'll know.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I went out tonight,
and I was scared beyond belief.
Was I ready?
Was it okay?

I went to our places,
actually they're just places now.
But I went.

I feel so empowered.
Like I can take on anything.
My life was made for so much more than this.
This is it.
This is what I needed to remember and realize.

It still stings,
it will for now.
But the pain gets less sharp each time.
I feel so free.
I can't tell if that's good or bad,
but only time will tell.
Kaitlin Frost Jul 2016
I'm good fun and games,
at least that's what everybody thinks.
I can be a sultry goddess,
or a lonely homebody.
I can be a lot of things.
*You're good fun
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2012
It kills me to know you will be leaving me soon.
I know you asked me if it bothers me and it  doesn't,
I thought.
I just keep having these thoughts about you forgetting me.
I want you to be mine and not leave me.  
But what am I supposed to do.
I just keep falling more in love with you.
Kaitlin Frost Jul 2015
i once knew a boy,
he wasn't any boy,
he was mine.
he had troubles and lost spirits,
he lost his way.
i could not find him anymore.
i searched and searched the dark mists for him,
but all i could see were shadows.
things that once were,
things that should have been.
i once knew a boy,
who taught me how to love.
it wasn't an ordinary love,
it was our love.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I am lost and wandering,
scared and alone in the world.
There's no safe place anymore.
No haven for me.

There's no warm embrace greeting me everyday.
No groggy smiles in the morning.
No late car drives around the city.
No comforting calls or messages.

The only things that remain are memories.
Some more faded than others.
Most are so etched into my mind,
they've become permanent.
I can't let them go.

I have no safe haven.
Nothing there keeping me from going over the edge,
again.
I'm not safe from anyone anymore,
not even myself.
They'll find me again,
they always do.
And when they do you won't be there to protect me,
or to hear my muffled cries.
I'll cry out for you to help me,
save me.

*Nothing
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2013
Society made me.
Society made me who I am.
They made me do it.
I did as they told me to do.
Was I ***** enough?
Was I **** enough?
No never.
I had to show them how it's done.
I had to be worthless
to be worth someone's time.
I had to do all of those things
so they would like me.
But they didn't,
they never did.
They are ripping my clothes off,
trying to take what is left of me.
There's so little left.
I barely see it anymore.
No rays of light,
no kindness.
It's worse when they aren't here.
When I look in the mirror,
I'm not there.
I don't think I'm here either.
I seek temporary comfort,
cold and lifeless.
Oh you don't want to know.
I should get help,
but there's no reason to anymore.
I don't need help.
I am awake in this nightmare,
and nothing will get me out.
It is my burden to carry with me.
I'll be loved,
just not now.
I want to feel beautiful.
I don't want to be another object.
I want to break my walls that I am trapped in.
I just can't.
I'm not strong enough.
I let it all come down upon me.
I have no anchor.
Society made me.
Society made me who I am.
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2012
She sat at the dining room table,
reading the headlines of the news.
Wondering and wondering,
where was he tonight.
Peering out of the window,
into the darkness of night.
The moon fading in and out of the overcast,
was he seeing the same moon tonight?
No sounds were heard in the house,
except her breathing.
Everything was just quiet.
Emptiness.
Most of the days she spent waiting,
and waiting for him.
Six months gone by,
nothing yet.
Another six gone by,
as December rolls in.
She hangs the ornaments by herself that year.
The phone rings only has to ring twice,
until she answers.
"Baby, I'm coming home."
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2012
Sometimes it gets repetitive the way I talk about love,
But I really just love these things about you.
And I know I am not old enough to know what love is.
And I know I don't have much experience in life or at least what I think love is.
And I know I can be annoying and get jealous really easily when I am with you.
I know these things.
Everyday I wake up and think to myself,
"Why is he even with me? How do I deserve him?"
And whenever you look at me that way you always
Do, and you smile so warmly at me.
I know everything will be okay when you do.
And I'm not lying when I say I've never felt this way.
I close my eyes really tight sometimes,
And then open them back up to make sure I'm not dreaming.
I still feel like I am, and like everything goes by really fast.
I just sit here and think to myself,
I know I don't know what these things are,
But I do when I'm with you.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2012
You know when you feel that something?
Something that makes you feel human. You know?
It's a spark of light in that perfect moment that just makes you
Stop. And
Swoosh.
With the wind blowing in my hair I feel somehow different.
Is this how this feels?
I don't even know how this stuff works,
But I'll do it.
All of this suddenly makes me feel,
Infinite.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
Calm*

That's definitely a word that I wouldn't expect to come up right now,
but it does.
I am relaxed.
A serene nature spills over me,
dumbfounding.
I know it works out either way,
and I think that's why I remain calm.
My heart knows I can be happy either way,
and that makes me happy.
Look at how far I have come,
you helped me with so much.
I can go out in the world,
and not ever be afraid again.
You taught me good things,
and bad.

You let me realize I am more than this,
I am more than the notch in the back of that truck,
I am more than a drunken plea from a pathetic loser,
I am more than a drunk car drive home.

I am worth more than I ever imagined,
and I can finally see it.
That light at the end of the tunnel.
I am unsure of the ending,
but I know that it is good.

There's no anger,
there's no more tears,
just a sure grip on reality and my worth as a person.
And it won't be the same for a while,
but it's okay.
It'll always be okay in the end.

This definitely isn't a sad sob story at all,
it was never meant to be one.
Just a simple crossing of paths,
for lessons sake.
Positive thoughts and positive feelings,
that's what I have in my heart.

No matter what does happen,
I got this big chunk of me back.
It was lost for such a long time,
but I just found it in myself.

You can break and shatter a vase,
with all of the pieces of it broken and scattered,
and you can glue all of the pieces back,
missing or not,
and it'll still be a vase.
It may not work,
or be pretty,
or stand up straight,
but it is still the vase that was before it was broken.

Thank you for everything,
because all of this,
it wasn't for nothing,
it was definitely something more.
Kaitlin Frost Jul 2015
you stupid girl
you really thought that you could be happy
you really thought that you could do something nice
you stupid girl
once those demons enter your life,
you can never be happy.
a lie.
a rumor.
false.
you can never be happy.
the devil is here.
Kaitlin Frost Oct 2012
You're somethin you know that?
Everything about you just makes me
Breathe.

Breathe girl, don't be nervous.
Linking arm and arm down those halls.
I just have to stop and watch
You.
You are everything and anything about me.
And that old GT car.
Laughing and singing.
I don't sing.
Not in front of just anybody.
You brought it out in me.
Love is a big word.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2012
Now once upon a midnight dreary
A young fellow once did ponder weak and weary
Not like anything one has heard before,
But this time is was something more.
As he slumped in evening chair,
Ah too much to have care.
The world around him caved in and saw,
His duties were beckoning him with their claw.
Arose from the chair pondering and pondering,
Out the door he came wandering and wandering.
Down the lowly corners and streets set light,
For he could not understand where we was try as he might.
Pulling and puzzling at his own thoughts jumbled,
Came the swift of his feet towards the soft thunder's rumble.
"What great spirit has led me to this? Upon my neighbor's door,
What such a dream, 'tis this and nothing more."
Without reason or thought upon his mind,
What strange power has caused this ill time?
Upon the chime of the midnight hour,
Stood this man at the door of the neighbor's tower.
Why he was there, that we may never know,
But surely the neighbor heard the commotion below.
A rapping came onto the neighbor's door,
"This is only a dream," the man thought to himself,
"'Tis a dream and nothing more."
He felt the pull of his hand as he tapped his neighbors door,
The force of an entity he never felt before.
Why he was there, we may never know,
But the neighbor did hear the commotion below.
As silent as the grave, the man stood waiting.
Patiently and quietly without hesitating.
Till at once his neighbor shook open the door,
And looked out at the man he had never seen before.
They each stared blankly at one another,
Until the man could no longer stutter.
"No reason here for my being at your door,
Just curious as to the man who lived here before."
The neighbor stared blankly at the man he'd never seen,
Pondering if he himself should scream.
"No sir, you must be mistaken tonight,
I am the only resident here for the years spite."
The man stood coldly, very shaken with hate,
And felt his hands squeeze against the neighbor's weight.
The neighbor's neck at once had snapped,
And he fell to the floor with one fall rapt.
Walking silent as the cold winter despair,
the man came back into his evening chair.
Why he came to the neighbor's house,
We may never know,
But he sat pondering and pondering to and fro.
A rapping came onto the man's door,
"This is only a dream," the man thought to himself,
"'Tis a dream and nothing more."
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2012
Waking up to the crackle of fire,
Smelling the winter air.
Christmas morning arrives.
Presents are passed,
From one to the other.
Movies, candy, makeup.
Now under the tree is bare,
With cold blank tile.
Where is he?
Where's the gift to make me warm?
Where's the gift to make me smile?
Where's the gift to hold me?
To tell me everything is okay?
To make me laugh?
To make me feel whole again.
Where is he?
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2012
Everyday we have a certain routine to take:
Get up, get dressed, wash your face, make breakfast,
Not in that particular order.
You go to your job.
Or you go to school.
Or you stay at home.
You do something.
You do this every single day of your life.
Your life.
It's your life,
So go live it.
There is so much more to this.
There is more people to meet,
Sights to see,
Movies to watch,
More life to live.
Kaitlin Frost Oct 2012
Bonfire smoke rises into the skies
and a fire crackles with the dry leaves.
Pumpkin spices roam the chilling winds,
trying to find those shirts with long sleeves.
Friday night football games crack off into the night,
kids laughing off in the woods.
Drinking every drop of that hot chocolate,
and pulling up those hoods.
Cuddling up close with that someone,
having those listless conversations.
Then walking along those paths of lights,
while you sing "I'll Be Home For Christmas".
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
I often lie awake with my thoughts playing on a loop inside my head.
Mostly consisting of past memories, good or bad, and things yet to come.
I often lie awake and think about what my wedding will be like.
Not in a typical way, but in a different way.

I think about how amazing that feeling will be,
when the man I love gets down on one knee,
and he'll ask me to be his soul mate,
his best friend,
and partner forever.
Out of the billions of other people on this planet he met you.
And out of the many relationships he had he fell in love with you.
He is committing his one and only life to you.

Everyone will be around you with that same feeling you have, pure bliss.
It's a magical moment forever embedded within.

I hope he's prepared to handle a girl like me.
Broken but functioning.

But for the first time in your life you won't feel worthless,
you won't feel like he could do better.
Your whole life has led up to this point,
and will continue with him by your side.
You won't be alone.

You will be his world.
Nothing else will matter,
and life will finally begin.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
There's water rushing in
And,I'm the only one who can feel it.
It's filling up my lungs.
I look at the people around me,
I try to scream.
But they can't hear me.
I'm drowning.
Kaitlin Frost Nov 2013
It's not over.
I don't accept it.
I won't.
I sit and I wait for you to call or text.
Please,
We can get through this.
I did nothing  wrong.

I want to be in your arms so badly,
You're supposed to be here now.
Kaitlin Frost Dec 2016
I'm the last thing you think about at night
And never the first thing in the morning.
I'm there when you get lonely and no one is responding.
I'm the second choice to your precious beauty queen.
I'm just a second choice.
Because nobody wants the girl with brains and a mouth.
Nobody wants the girl that has the guts to say no.
Nobody wants that girl,
Nobody.
Next page