We cannot
rush our healing.
This life is a journey,
and darkness
always
holds
a teaching.
Love is the light
at the end
of the tunnel.
She is there.
She is waiting.
She is never leaving.

I've lost you
I haven't had you for a while
And on my quest to regain you
I've been given much advice

Just pray
They say
And so I tried
But when I looked, you were nowhere to be found

So I sat in misery
At such disappointment in myself
Shrouded amidst the judgement
And pity alike

Fear him they said
But I had no reason to be guilty
I was just a lost person
Who had lost the peace

I lost you in the dead of the night
Still born for many dawns of days
I passed like a phantom
Through the slipping time

I wish I could call you
And book an appointment
On the weekend
When I'm home

Just know that I am waiting
For a high court order
Signed by the Majesty
To be summoned from the slums

Perpetual desolation was my wondering,
I had succumb to the envalabilties of solitudes abandoned
breath,. And it was a bleak environment of reflection.

But in that moment of my absenteeism a beacon shone
first it was but a shade in obscurity, then weaving into
the eclipse of the soul I awoke to its beauty.

She shone in my eyes, yet I was not blinded but
awoken from my seclusion. And where I was forlorn,
now I was for the first time seeing the beauty of her.

Negativity swirls around me like the storm outside my door,
reminding me of all the things I've told myself before;
you aren't good enough or smart enough or worthy enough to make it,
everything I've said before to the point where I can't take it.
But then a thought appears that subsides all the self hate,
it's Francis Chan telling me Isaiah 55:8.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts and My ways are not your ways.."
I criticize myself
for the things that God does praise.
He sees me in a greater light, knit perfectly together
and He loves me for the way I am, in any kind of weather.

Most times you will find me silent.
Unwilling to put the thoughts into sentences.
But I promise you;
I will return.

Step by step,
Piece by piece,
We will examine each one on it's own.

We'll lighten the darkness a little,
And make it a more pleasant view.

Imagination I leave for you to decide what to do with.