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Maria Vannesa Feb 2018
Still trap in the midst of nowhere
Lost in the void of self doubt
Stepping in the pile of nails
I feel myself spinning in the whirl of self made confusion

Is it necessary to blame someone , for what am I now?
Or should I face the facts?
The facts that still haunting me until now,
The facts that slapped me straight in the face.

It is a fact beyond this unreasonable doubt
A fact that competes my fantasies
Or is it my ****** past that still chokes me
Or is it me that is afraid to face the facts.
Maria Vannesa Feb 2018
Shame me to the crowd
drown me into the pit of mud
destroy my weaknesses 
lead me into your endless wickedness 
If all of this things will satisfies you, then you wont hear a word from me.
But, my dear remember this
All of this things will be a mark of your disgrace.
Maria Vannesa Feb 2018
Am I a Dumb or you are A Numb?

As the sun shines in the east,
As the wind whispers in my ears,
As the time continuously passes by,
My love for you never last.

You're my Halley’s Comet.
You're my dream come true.
Every time our eyes met,
Heaven and hell collide.

You’re the heat that keeps me warm
In a cold breeze.
Your touch lightens up my nerves
Oh darling!  My love my one and only
Why did you ignore me?

Am I hallucinating to think of you every single day?
Am I too pathetic, when I daydream of you every second of hour?
Oh darling! My love my one and only
Why didn’t you feel my presence?

Are you too numb? Or am I too dumb? To love you this way.
Maria Vannesa Feb 2018
My stubborn saturation, brought me into the world of random strangers
Strangers whom I found on a wide circuit of millennial connections
Most of them are like wild boar, trying to find food that will fill their unsatisfied soul
But, some of them are like stars, that will still shine; even during dawn.

Until, I found him; my morning star
That random connections, makes everything stop; at the moment, I saw him
I really adore his sparkling eyes, like a star that still shines, before sunrise
The way he stares at me, he always gives me tachycardia (a rapid heartbeat)

The tune of his gentle voice is like an angel playing a harp in a serene manner
Though his accent, is somehow confusing; but, I know our souls will intertwined to connect on one point.
“The world is round, you will reach the same point if you start traveling like a circle”
Little he knows that, I’m pointing it out to his pure soul; that I can see through his eyes

I will never get tired staring at his face
His presence that fulfill my empty soul
The way he laughs, makes my blood pressure rise, that’s why my cheeks get red
He generally, got me going crazier

I know life is too unfair, to ended up so unexpectedly
So unreasonably and so fast
Now, that I found him, the one who make me more alive again.
Maria Vannesa Feb 2018
Physically complete but mentally void of everything
Longing for your affection and recognition
I did my best but still it wasn't good enough
Little did you know that I'm longing for you
to find me again.
" please don't miss me when I'm gone."
Maria Vannesa Feb 2018
The moment you broke  and teared me down , you already lost me
you lost me: in the midst of love and hate, joy and sorrow, prosperous and agony
I'm your ragged doll and you played me like a ventriloquist did
Your sweet tooth and tongue twisted lies swirl me under your words and promises
Until I found myself lost inside your abyss world of fantasies
You consumed me
and left nothing but a hole of emptiness of everything that I used to have inside me

Until I realized, that loving you is too much to bear
I gave my world to you
I allowed you to step in and take the wheel of my life
but you let me drift away
You lead me to your wants and needs
You drowned me to your poisons, knowing that it'll **** me
and you allowed that to happened

Your selfishness, was my big eye opener
Being dumb ascertained my innocent soul and mind
Trapped in your manipulative fantasies  
I once was your slave
and not anymore

Now, I'm free from you
Breathing purely
Holding the wheel of my life again
because finally
I'm free from your chains
incandescently happy without you.
Maria Vannesa Feb 2018
Caught the exact word right through her mouth
My existence was no longer present through her eyes
because I'm no less than a shadow to her.

Little you know that you enlightened me
with your light
There's a demon inside me
summoning my entity
Forever be hiding in my shadows.
"Sometimes people only see your existence, if you did things that favors to them."
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