I go to sleep at
eleven eleven so
all my dreams come true
I wake with a 1:00 am
nightmare, it's reality.

home is where the heart resides.
tears are what the brain prescribes,
as a heart that breaks forms a lake,
and the body is out of control.
death is the ultimate goal.
everyone is always the centre of their own world.
triggered teens with wristarts and no skin—
thirteen year olds girls calling boys honey—
lonely ladies with cats that don't speak—
old corrupt men who think life is money—
everyone is always at the centre of their own world,
that's where you are born,  
and that's where you shall die,
in a journey to the end of the earth,
you're getting nowhere.

muse, one who inspires—
dream, an imagination—
you, muse of my dreams—
settle down, my heart, i say
—but your smile ruins it all

an angel for soul
a devil for an heart; you
took me to heaven,
and made me fall my way down,
and it hurt like hell, you see.

Words, he had left me
With words I shall never say.
Lies as my eyes tell,
My lips refuse to betray.
And my mad hatter of a love for you
Dissolves like poison in my blood;
Like addiction, like drugs, like cigarettes.
They coat a layer of dark black sin around my heart
Like dying trees growing thick branches with falling leaves
And wounded roots around my bones and ribs,
And the thorns dig out of my flesh.
They wrap around my ankles and wrists,
And tie knots around my waist and hips.
They scratch against my skin making me bleed,
And this plantation tears me apart from limb to limb.
And I know I never cry out, I know I never scream,
Because there are animals nested into my head.
They throw their demands at the weakling in my chest.
They give me commands and expect me to obey.
But my demons, my love, they never leave.
As vultures circle the blood with which I paid,
For the funeral of a love that never deceased.
But you in your empire, you sat and watched me rot,
In another's arm, who beheld my decay.
You watched the colburn they brought,
And watched my colours ashen to grey.
Yet I can't taint the love that leaves me these burns
Because you are ablaze, a star, much like the sun,
And I fall asleep as you do,
And I want to sleep next to you,
But I am afraid of these sparks I feel;
They will explode into flames when comes a day.
And I can't save myself from the hero of dreams,
That makes real, the roles of the villains in my nightmares.
I would run faster then the waters if I had to,
Even though I can't swim.
I would fight soldiers in heavy armour
Without a sword or a shield.
Not to die but, from life, to run away.
From myself and the heart that you hold,
And then my ghost shall dance around my grave.
And if still you, the art in my eye, would not accept me,
I will cool down the fire in me to steam.
The steam to water spilling against my cheeks,
Because,
If the heartache won't break me, I will live a funeral.
I won't die if you think it's selfish.
I will bear the rain against my wounds,
The salt in the sea stinging against the stabs,
As I drown my way back home again.

Like a ghost, you haunt my mind.
There's mirrors that reflect our dead love.
And through mazes I follow your footsteps.
The giggles of your laughter ring with empty echoes.
And these dead memories, and ghost confessions
With conjure my mind and possess my heart one day
Because what we had is dead today.

I was without lungs, and he couldn't breathe.
He told me he loved me, but I felt the need,
To find someone better, out of my greed.
But I was an artist he was dying to please,
Stabbing himself for what he couldn't be,
And my blank white canvas started to bleed.
I saw the red and the corpse of the deceased.
The blood blinded me and I was deceived.
He told me if comes a day, he'd die for me.
But after the sun fell, I refused to believe.
And now as he lay dead at my feet,
I have realised that the demons I had released,
Charmed him, harmed him, worked its magic.
And now the spell is stuck in his dead body.
He opened his heart and I had started to feed
Of the love, affection and his soul so sweet.
He was a dream boy, I was a witch.
I was an artist, and he, a mere masterpiece.

I'd fight to be loved by you,
But would you fight back for me?

It hurts for a little while, but it's alright.
I tried so hard smile, and laughed for you: to be worth your time, because you were funny.
But today I realised, my genuine laughter has turned into laughs that ring through the air right on time on every joke.
I know you so well, I have gotten used to you, I know you too well now.
You don't know me at all, but you are used to me, bored of me even.
So, when I laugh for you just to make you smile, you don't realise that it hurts underneath.
It hurts for a little while, but it's alright.
I still want to be worth your time.

I'm a drifter;
I drift ashore, and away again,
Like an ever travelsome voyage
En route to finding myself,
The part of me I never thought was lost within,
Until now, until I found myself drifting.
Drifting by people, drifting by days,
From city to city, countries apart
Bad lands, good lands, and wonderlands;
They take me to an incandescent
State of art.
However,
As art is but art, a madness of literature,
I find myself a lonely, lonesome, creature.
I find myself all alone in the crowds,
Of foreign souls speaking in foreign tongue,
Under foreign skies and clouds,
In a foreign land, I walk among
The loneliest of grounds.
What I have decided, what I have realised,
Is that when I flee every city and every sight,
I drift home when I am alone sometimes,
But because I do it so often so many times...
People aren't happy, yet not sad, nor astound,
As I am a drift, I always roam,
And when I come back to my Mother ground,
No one notices, that I'm home.

hello world,


I heard you used to be a sight to see,

luscious in your own ravenous greenery

but people are fake, people try to be pretty

and now they've turned you into their own toy

of smoke, dust, delight, desire and so much noise

and now they want to make you beautiful

but the greenery is gone and the beauty faded.

and now they want everything you can't give

people only want things that they can't have

and now you are what lays beneath my feet

there's mud and dirt but fire underneath

and now i don't know where to go, what to be

people turned me into a void of insecurities

and now i have come to realize that it's your fault

you don't give us the code to open the volt

you lay there like a ground is to lay

and let us walk over in this screaming disaray

but i know you have the key to all doors

and we are just creatures invented for your entertainment.

so i hope you stay in your silent laughing state

and enjoy the scraps of what we leave behind

but you will never be what you want to be

just like us, you will stay beneath your dreams

you will never be real, you will never be good

you'll never find that moment,

the moment of truth.

and now i've come to realize another thing:

you are so plastic, it's almost pretty;

but that's the problem too... you're too pretty

and that pushes me into a rath of darkness

dear world, you make me ugly.

love, faith.

trembling fingers grazed grey lips,
tears spilled like ink on pale skin,
and insanity overcame by being.

(beauty burning out)


I love the word 'burn'.
Like imagine,
Everything's burning,
I am on fire,
You're on fire,
The world is on fire,
And I find it beautiful.
Burning beautiful.
It's the burning out part that's scary.

I know that you feel lost
I know that things seem
a m i s s
I know that you miss
The memories we shared.
But I wish you missed
Me, instead.

(perfection has flaws)


what was broken,

                            you mended.

what was taken,

                            you took back.

what was worthless,

                            you made worth it.

what was perfect,

                            **you made flawless.

if you are on fire
i will burn for you.
for your entertainment
i will burst into flames.
to be your light
i will bath in gasoline,
light up a match
and set myself  ablaze.
*these flames are for you,
my love.

(a poem)*


life may have flaws

and the image may have faults

but the imagination never does

and i believe

the image doesn't matter

it's the imagination that counts

(a poem)*


maybe this life

is just a memory

or a writer's fiction fantasy

of a dystopian world

beyond we ever imagined

our imagination would take us

where the ending never ends

and the beginning is forgotten

(about destiny #2)


My palms against the window glass

The *distance had never felt so vast.

My eyes trained on the world outside

That held my future in it's hold.

The distance had never felt so vast,

Like careless love and hopeless hope.

(about destiny)


and i bet you are out there

somewhere among the *rain

of people within this world

that we are bound to live in

and i bet you are out there

somewhere along the lines

and i will find you one day


*and it will all *fall into place.

(from my wattpad poem)


My throat 

b u r n s

And it  

h u r t s

But I never say

The  

w o r d s .  

And

I never want

to  s a y  it.

But when I die

I want you to

r e m e m b e r*

it.

(from my wattpad poem)


Sometimes

It's not okay to cry.

Sometimes you need

To force yourself,

To hold it together

Just for once,

Like you hadn't

Have to do it

b e f o r e .

What explains,

That sometimes,

The more you cry,

The more it

**h u r t s .

You are here
I am here
*And we have an eternity
To unfold before us.

It been white all morning
As the lightness
Melts hearts.

It's been blue all day
Like the sky can
Breath again.

It's been red in the evening
The rose among thorns
That breaks hearts.

It's been purple at the start of dusk
Something's gone all wrong
Like poison.

It's been black all through the night
Shaking away fear
And desire.

There were rainbows at the break of dawn
And I didn't really know
What it was.

I give you smile,
I give you my name.
I tell you my thoughts
And you ask me again.

Do you like this smile?
Does it brighten your day?
Do you ever think of me?
How about all the time?

Do you laugh at all my jokes?
Even though I am not that funny.
I can make you smile even when
The sun stopped shinning.

Do you constantly get nervous?
Whenever I fail to show up.
Do you grin that huge grin of yours?
When I turn up again.

Do you think this can last?
Do you know?
That I will come back everytime,
And we will go from there.

Do you see that we can never
Be what, where, when, and how
We want things to be?
Do you really see?

Do you think that my smiles
Would last you a life time?
Do you really like me that much?
Do you love me?
Please don't.

What is this that I feel
Like drowning in life
And living in dread?
That when the words
I am supposed to keep
I give away?
What is this that I feel
Whenever I dont even
Want to feel?
That slices through it
All, everything yet
Means nothing?
What is this that I feel
When I dream it to
Be a dream?
But in truth it is
A nightmare that I
Cannot wake from?
What is this that I feel
Obliged to say I don't
I don't care all,
Even though I know
Deep down that
I do?
What is this that I feel
That I can't handle?
That I want to forget?
It chews at my my heart
Threatening to beat to death
And yet..
What is this that I feel?