It's early in the morning
Rays of sunday light seep through the windows
And the white walls look celestial
When they're being kissed by the sun
He's asleep on your bed and he's facing you
You count the seconds until his blue eyes
Snap open and meet yours
The man who would never stand still
Looks peaceful, resting at your side
You tentatively reach out
Your fingers ghost over his eyelids
Over his cheekbones, over his throat
Never quite touching, but close enough to know
That what you see is not a hallucination
But your new reality
And a couple hours from now
A hot cup of coffee between your tired hands
You'll settle next to him on the couch
You'll feel the warm weight
Of a cat resting on your legs
You'll pretend not to notice when someone's head
Falls on your shoulder
You'll pretend not to care
When he presses a feather like kiss on your hair
Whispers 'good morning' against your neck
And you'll pretend that the shivers
Are from the cold morning breeze
But the pink shade that slowly takes over your skin
Betrays your careless façade, and he smiles
You've always been good at telling lies from truth
And there's nothing false about the way
He touches you when you say it's okay
And you know this is not a dream
Because your dreams have always been haunted
Yet there are no ghosts here
Nothing but a safety you didn't think you'd achieve
A sober kind of happiness you didn't believe
Would ever become your life
And yet
It did get better.

one must have chaos in oneself
to give birth to a dancing star