sometimes it still upsets me,

but I'm still set in my ways;

i still smile when i don't mean it,

i sigh when you aren't here,

i climb clouds when i can,

i reappear where you don't.

i feel completely alone.

I glide through green lights,

obliterating double lines,

hoping i can still see the great divine,

dishonored by three bottles of red wine.

but i still remember crying at the station,

calling you from my driver's side,

bruised, cut and unkind,

begging you to stay in my life.

loneliness cures syrup,

im mush without you,

fighting thoughts in my head,

biding life, while your life is the glue.

what i lost a long time ago is you.

maybe ego is a freedom,

breathing meaning in a wound,

but as lost as white vans,

i might know what could be true.

if your life was a montage,

would you stare, would you starve?

would you care or move on?

fall in love with a man who can stop

fall in love with a man who can stop

fall in love with someone,

if they stop.

where you can't reach me,

empty werewolves come to eat me,

drinking where i should be breathing,

darkness, where you cannot reach me.

on my mind at night,

i can't say words, but i might,

drag you down,

i still stay out of town.

maybe my life is foolish,

and im just cringing by the fire,

but i know I've told truth as a liar.

and no matter what color that,

just happens to change your hair,

maybe it reflects the days i regret,

i still wake and i still fret,

for you, truly im still left,

but sunsets still don't feel like they,

used to.

i reappear from my illness,

with small hope and no home,

just four walls and a bed of my own,

motherless, with an inch left of soul.

my eyes are recovering gray,

miles away from the dark,

where i stood almost all of my life,

only time could replace this heart.

i am grateful for the days i can count,

forgive me for the ones that i can't,

but still, if you stood next to me,

i would still reach for your hand.