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  May 2017 Jumpsuitriot
arden laguna
I could wake up next sunday, just maybe
if i make it through these weekend nights.
Anyone could tell me about what I should do,
but maybe I wouldn't push and pull through.

It's a different story, one I couldn't write anymore.
Somber's all I am recently, wish I could be sober.
It's hard to get up in the morning and not wish
to have so much more I could do about all this.

And I've paced my elbow room a couple times,
it feels like I'm a stranger in my own company.
Been vexed by the holy ghost behind my back
about faith I don't have and a father I can't see.

Won't take you a miracle, they told me once.
Said the cigarettes and lighters would suffice.
There's also the aftertaste of saturday's vices,
you'd know how hard it is, wanting to just go.

Because everytime I've told anyone otherwise,
I'm no longer surprised to be called thankless.
Though I've settled with pennies for thoughts:
my talk's cheap, arms open, but i'm still selfish.

Rid the virtues from my system, all but patience,
since I've been waiting on all my oppurtunities
but not for the home I've settled to call my own.
There's a way, I know, that's not how I want to go.

Today, I cried when someone asked about my day
because I've been like this whole weekends long.
My thousand tiny terrors yet again take their toll.
Wait for my sunday matinee, it's the last you'll see.
please help me get through the weekend.
  May 2017 Jumpsuitriot
Dark Delusion
Keep holding on to the light.
It never fully leaves when the moon rises.
But be aware of the shadows.
There’s a whole other world inside of them.

They drag you down and down.
Until you hit the bottom of your soul.
It’s cold and dark, an unknown existence.
You can never leave, it’s too late.

Stay like the weak wreck you are.
You’re not even trying to escape.
Do you give up that easy?
You’re a mess, an emotional mess.

Stop crying, it won’t help.
Stop shouting after your consciousness.
Free your soul from the fear.
Help, instead of being trapped inside of yourself.

Purify the darkness, let the moon rise once again.
Letting the light help you live.
But there’s a risk, the shadows.
They’re waiting, they’re hungry for a pathetic prey like you.

Stop keeping the circle of time in your life.
Leave it alone, before you fall into a pit of misery.
It’s dark down there, just like your soul.
It’s more lethal than ever; with walls painted with despair.


Eyes straining in the dark, searching after something usable.
Stay sane, if you can keep up with the twisted voices.
Don’t let them drag you deeper down.
Don’t let them manipulate you once again

A million worlds in one.
They’re all inside of me.
Screams filling  my lungs, it’s ringing in my ears.
They’re controlling me from my blind side.

Keep up with the running tears,
The pain has gotten deeper.
The hatred is using me.
The fear is haunting me forever.

There’s a hole in my heart.
The moon’s shining through my emptiness.
It’s making me sleepy, I see them.
It’s the shadows, they’re gonna get me.

I woke up by the river; mirroring the stars.
The moon saved me once again on this summer night.
The shadows dragged me here, they wanted to drown me in dreadfulness.
They’re what I fear the most; my Summer Nightmares.
Jumpsuitriot May 2017
Im back.
I've ben super depressed and stressed out. Haven't had a lot of inspiration lately. Just starting To come back to my semi-poem writing self.
Im glad to be back and can't wait to read some material, And finally write some new stuff. ** cheers.
Jumpsuitriot Jul 2016
I've been trying to find the right words to say,
So I'm just writing it here...
I need to write my feelings down somewhere before I explode..
I've been trying so hard to find my way.
With out you im lost, and
I feel like I have no where left to go.
How am I suppose to do this without you,
How will I go on?
Almost nine years together, and now you're just gone.
I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't eat.
I've tried to keep it together, for her, for our daughter.
but when you lose someone so close to you,
You lose a part of yourself.
I have been crying for days, thinking about how she won't get to know the wonderful man you were.
Thinking about how you won't get to see her grow up,
And be there for all the journeys and obstacles.
I'll be sure to tell her but it just won't be the same.
I love you, so much and I miss you dearly.....you're forever in my heart.
Though I don't think it will ever be fixed.
Rest in peace, my love, my soulmate, my bestfriend, and the father to our beautiful 2 year old daughter.
  Jun 2016 Jumpsuitriot
Joe Bradley
Un-belonging
Undressed from teenage rhythm.
It’s a yearning for
The lost birds

Whose wings you rode
In talkless flight,
Til the silence got thicker
And woke up

Under the acupuncturist’s shadow.
And it needled it’s point as
Chinese wisdom, or as a well-meaning homeopath.
It dawdled all the same.

And you’re all sat right there.
Submurged. Happy as reflections.
Like an underwater photograph,
Mermaid’s song, gargles

Like the frog in my throat.
Almost Bauhaus, Picasso,
Almost watercolour, a mockingbird’s
Impression of a rock.

It was just
Undiagnosed sickness and I’m
Wading slowly into the sea with
my parents stones in my pocket.
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