i know it's not the same
and we're both drowning
drowning from the sorrow
the sorrow that is us
just leave me alone

i want to ******* die
and i believe in free verse

i haven't written in ages
and everything's a blur to me
though i might be oblivious of everything around me
i could still hear their screams
as they continued to shun me
all i could do is to shun them back
i want to have someone to talk to
but i couldn't utter the words i want to relay
i don't have a home
it's all a wreck for me
i don't have a home if it's not you
everything's a wreck
and i'm not maturing correctly
i couldn't do things right
i just couldn't see things right
i couldn't see things right
if it's not you

woke up to the sight of a tall hedged maze
as children played in their castles and cardboard boxes with their make believe friends
and as they delved in from my point of view
they realized that i am nothing but an ember
barely keeping my flames alive

you tore through my chest
grabbed my innards
and pulled them out
like a cannibal with an insatiable thirst for blood
only you were craving someone else's pain
and as you picked me as your next victim
i fell for your trap
you've shown me the idealistic traits of my ideal girl
but never shown your dark intentions of hurting me
and as we slowly creeped in on our final day
you've carved your name on my heart
as you walked away
leaving me broken and breathless
and shown me your psychopathic ways
i never knew someone could make you go insane
my sanity slowly declined
as you neglected me without empathy
i ******* hate you

from crows gazing down on you with anger
comes humming birds that'll raise your heart with surprises
from hornets coming at you like a maniac's chainsaw
comes buzzing bees that'll bring you joyous and luscious honey
from thunderstorms throwing thunderclaps
comes drizzling waves of soothing sounds with each tap of droplets from the window
from dampened lakes on the corner of our heart
comes a deep and divine sea of kindness and prosperity
of you and your flower field mind

am i really that bad?
am i really that unlovable?
for people to think that everything i say is a joke?
for people to think that my feelings are just for comedic purposes?
i'm not that bad, believe me
but **** it
it's useless for me to yap on about this *******
you'd still treat me like ****