I don’t know what any of this is for
I’m growing weary, locked inside this door,

of never ending staircases
and cobwebbed walls

cold cement floors
littered with blood and voodoo dolls

outlines shadow your existence
and monsters take your place

and I find myself hiding in the darkness
and scratching at my face

to mutilate these smiles,
that feel much more like frowns

and bleed the agony out of me
so you won’t come back around.

I sense the haunting from our carnage
smothering my breath

and I choke on stale air
because you stole my lungs and left.

leaving me hollow,
and alone within my mind

remembering lost love
and simpler times

I’m held here as your prisoner
locked inside your door
and I’ll never know or understand
what any of this was for.

Diluted promises- watered down with doubt and wandering flesh
Jagged kisses pierce your throat and I have no bandage to place upon you
I was the bandage.  And now I must peel away
Quick, as not to inflict continued pain.  

But remember- pain is human
Or is it soul?
Soul is absent
Feathered and dusty
Everywhere and nowhere.  

Each weaving must unweave
And unwoven takes another form
But separate.  Two lines uncrossed.
Miles away from you and me

I whisper and it sounds too loud
My ears bleed for your departure
My heart aches for the end
My eyes are blind and I fumble around
Trying to capture the fraying leftovers
That have gone cold in our hands,

But I’ve lost my appetite for you
And I spit up your words
I’m sick on your lies
And I’d rather die hungry
Then full of your ****. And empty from your love.

my head hangs low
my eyelids flutter
these shaking knees are collapsing quickly
and there is no ground to catch my escape

my mind lays blank
and no tears are left
but my heart is racing like when we met
yet this time, there’s a valley in the center of you

I quaked your land
re-shaping what you were
and now you’re divided jaggedly
with no hope of reeling your two parts back together.

my vanity has broken you apart
my pride pulled me away
and just like you, I’m left in half
but my good has gone to grey.

needles and pins infest my feet,
my prickling hairs stand tall,
even now, in all this mess
I have your back against the wall.

Sorry can’t be a real word
when I don’t even know what it means
but I’m sorry that you fell in love
and so sorry she was me.

You're a murderer you know,
and you've gotten away with it.

No witnesses to testify against you,

No alibi needed to strengthen your case.

No evidence strong enough to unmask you.

Just an unidentified victim,
with no open wounds or visible markings
to give away its' subject-

For all the bloodshed is within.

CHOKED!
RIPPED!
*****!
STABBED!
BEAT!
STRIPPED!

It is all secretly covered,
unexposed.

A beautiful mirage-

Painted lips and crystal eyes,
velvet skin,
draped, in golden, satin hair.

A flawed mirage-

With bleeding lips, and crying eyes.
Diseased skin,
smothered in, dull, lifeless hair.

Yet still, the inside reveals nothing.
A murderer you remain,

but what a lovely victim I make.

Tangled, Knotted, Melted-
I try to make sense
out of the wreckage
from your tears.

So long ago, so scattered and strewn,
our bullets still embedded
in the soles of our feet-
Weighing down our wings and windows.

You looked like a child,
Scared and alone-
and it all came to me,
but i don't know what to do.

I wanted to hold you and hit you.
Break you, and make you.
Shake you, and still you.

Erase you.
Erase it all.

Undo the pain
Take away the tears,
forget the cries.

But i'm the child.

And I wanted you to hold me.
    make me.
I wanted you to still me.

But you just cried,
and I'm all alone.
Sitting 2500 miles away,
in my home,
you'll probably never see.

I awake shaking-
Searching
for stolen breath.

Saturated in a sickening veil of unwanted memory.
Your flesh eating eyes
burn through my lucid skin,
Melting down my fragile youth.

YOUR MOUTH!

Your serpent-filled, blood draining tongue
that like daggers,
have penetrated,
and sliced my innocent soul,
continues to wrap around my weakened limbs,
erasing my goodness, and burying,
my desperate, homeless love.

***** lays dormant within me.
Erupting gallantly,
With just the itch of you upon my tiny hand.

So many times i have tried to slip out of my skin,
to creep away into the night,
release you from my shackles.

So many stormy nights,
i slink inside my blood, and cut my flesh
to rid you of my veins.

Too many times, i have carved out my face
in hopes to go unrecognized by your wicked voice.

But you find me.
you seep back into my flesh and you leave me empty,
you leave me dissected,
you leave me alone

you are inside of me,
but you leave me
Alone.