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My number?
Yes.
Thousands of dollars
82 Miles
1 that got away
6 heartaches
3 heartbreaks
2 years strong
6 countries
Hundreds of tears
1 unsteady brain
2 unsteady hands
1 heart full of love
This is what has shaped me.
Call it when you're ready.
It's funny how I spent lots of time writing about fixations
Without noticing those words written were already my pain killers.
And now, I don't have to stick with cigarettes and liquors,
I know they can burn parts of me like a piece of paper;
Poured with kerosene and match sticks to easily widespread a fire.
And as they burn me,
Hoping memories will also scatter flowing against the wind just like an ember.
But those times when I was still under your pressure,
I never felt compression behind these chests when we started to chisel;
I never felt sincerity behind your "I love you" and that's the ugliest thing I can remember:
When you kept on telling me that you love me but it was never genuine enough that it turns out to be a vine that's tying my neck that I need to sever.
You were my glorious endeavor,
But it turns out to be a game some thing you're good at,
And I'm sorry because I can't play your games because I'm a loser;
I'm a loser in a game of three's.
I'm sorry I can't flow your games of emotion because I get easily bleed.
I kept on telling people around me that when it comes to love I am a fragile being,
I befriended tolerance of emotional pain.
That when I start to hold the paper and the pen,
Your name and our memories comes out with a blood stain.
And I need to wake up from this beautiful nightmare;
And I want to escape from this mediocre love of ours.
Wake me up from this aesthetic grave,
I want to feel alive just like how I spent my time with my own self in the park.
My friends once told me to follow my heart,
But when I did, it tore me apart.
I will not blame them from my brokenness because I know they just wanted me to be happy.
I will just write about fixations till I can treat myself a better therapy
See, those nights when I was still crazy about you,
My friends despised me for forgetting them as a part of me.
They never knew I was battling alone because I don't want them to feel pity. 
I remember that very night you told me you'll always love me more than you do to other guys.
And I can't put myself still,
So I have to sever 'us' and I'll be the one to say goodbye.
Good bye, my dear
You'll be categorized now as a history of a tragic fear
You put me into this fear where I can no longer identify a better atmosphere
In every angle of my room it gets darker and colder
My affection in sadness makes the room a little bit lighter
Because whenever I think of you,
It makes me feel dumb that I didn't listen to my friends telling me you were the liar.
Close the curtains
On this last act
Call home the trains
Bring me back

Time has eloped
With my dreams
I've learnt to cope
On meagre means

Preach the truth
To he who hears
Dig up the roots
Bury your cares

Hide my letters
In an open box
Untie my fetters
Use all the locks

Life is a paradox
Running to its death
Watching all the clocks
To be the last one on earth.
I like the fact that I can have rhyme and beat even when I'm not exactly sure what I mean :-)
I want to fall away
From everything that bothers me
...there's so much that bothers me...
It's getting hard to bear
       Getting hard to stand
       Getting hard to breath
       Getting hard to live
If only the best things in my life
Could be applied to those problems
And whisked them away
Like a feather
In the breeze.
To be seen years later
In a field of never ending wonder
And yet boundless stagnancy
Where one is all
And all is the same
That is all
I don't know where to start...
At the beginning I guess.
That's where it all starts,
And ends, if you think about it

When I look inside, I don't see darkness.
I see light, wonder, potential
Spinning and spinning
Like the thoughts and feelings inside me.
Things fly by my view
At a speed too fast to grasp
And yet slow enough to see.
What do I chose?
What do I do?

An eagle chooses which way it flies.
A mouse chooses which direction it scurries.
Even a humble caterpillar has the freedom of direction.
Why can't I?
Why am I destined to stay on one path?
Since when has anything stayed on one path...

Life may not have any meaning
But it was never meant to.
Our meanings our individual, unique.
We have the opportunity and ability to shape them how we want
Make us who we want.
Meaning to one may mean different to another.
Difference of meaning is not contempt of acceptance.
Life has no meaning.
So we provide meaning into that which is life.
i want to enhance my mind
i like to go to that other place
thought patterns of another kind
outer awareness of inner space

i want to slow down my time
slow the motion of the race
leaving what i know behind
inner awareness of outer space
Darkness fills the cracks
More thoroughly than light does
Swallowing up more than just objects
It take emotions, words, faces
Throws them into a pit
Superstition only lies around such a pit
Fear of the insides of darkness
Fear of what darkness can do
We've all been harmed in darkness
We've all cried in darkness
We've all died a little in darkness
But maybe the dark helps
More than the light does
When all you have to think about
Is the pain and confusion
Of a life half-lived
A brain half-used
A heart half-healed
For these are the maladies
That inflict us all
Darkness eats life,
But pushes it forward as well.
I want to show
I want to share
Everything I feel for you
Sometimes though,
The feelings come out quicker
Than the words
And the meaning is lost in translation
We stop, but life doesn't
Moving on
Is what life is all about
If we can't move on
We can't live
Under death do our souls forgive

But don't wait, don't tarry
Although death is the ultimate redeemer
It is also the great end
To all that we know and feel
In this world

Hope is always there
That even with one world set aside
There will be a place for us
In another
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