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Julie Schnell Dec 2016
Drips down my arm
All to familiar
As I pick up the blade
And push on the razor

The pain rushes in
And frees my tears
As they drip down
Into the open skin

The scars on my wrists
Will fade away with time
While the scars on my heart
Will last a lifetime

My pain flows
Through the blood on my wrist
And down the sink
Along with my dreams
Julie Schnell Dec 2016
I feel alone
Completely
And totally
Alone

Physically
I am always surrounded
Never alone
Always one
In a sea of millions

In my head
Are the voices of a thousand people
Shouting and screaming
Louder and louder
Everyday

I am alone
Even in a crowd
I am completely alone
With my thoughts
And I will be alone

Forever
&
Ever
Julie Schnell Nov 2016
Our love is as strong as a lion
Soft as the cuts on you lying
Times we got hot like an iron
You and I

Our hearts have never been broken
We were so innocent darling
Used to talk till the morning
You and I

We had that mixtape on every weekend
Had it repeating
Had it repeating

You were my September song
Summer lasted too long
Time moves so slowly
When you're only fifteen
You were my September song
Tell me where have you gone?
Do you remember me?
We were only fifteen
And I, I remember the chorus
They were singing it for us
You were my September song
Tell me where have you gone?
Do you remember me?
We were only fifteen

Sometimes I think that I see your
Face in the strangest of places
Down on the underground station passing by

I get a mad sense of danger
Feel like my heart couldn't take it
Cause if we met we'd be strangers
You and I

Still I play that mixtape every weekend
Got it repeating
Got it repeating

You were my September song
Summer lasted too long
Time moves so slowly
When you're only fifteen
You were my September song
Tell me where have you gone?
Do you remember me?
We were only fifteen
And I, I remember the chorus
They were singing it for us
I hear that September song
That I'm singing along
Thinking about you and me
Oh what a melody

And as the years go by
You will still be my, be my
(September song)
You are my
(September song)

You were my September song
Summer lasted too long
Time moves so slowly
When you're only fifteen
You were my September song
Tell me where have you gone?
Do you remember me?
We were only fifteen
And I, I remember the chorus
They were singing it for us
You were my September song
I remember the chorus
They were singing it for us
Heard this song on the way home tonight and wanted to share the lyrics.
  Nov 2016 Julie Schnell
Riel Adriane
It's funny how I spent lots of time writing about fixations
Without noticing those words written were already my pain killers.
And now, I don't have to stick with cigarettes and liquors,
I know they can burn parts of me like a piece of paper;
Poured with kerosene and match sticks to easily widespread a fire.
And as they burn me,
Hoping memories will also scatter flowing against the wind just like an ember.
But those times when I was still under your pressure,
I never felt compression behind these chests when we started to chisel;
I never felt sincerity behind your "I love you" and that's the ugliest thing I can remember:
When you kept on telling me that you love me but it was never genuine enough that it turns out to be a vine that's tying my neck that I need to sever.
You were my glorious endeavor,
But it turns out to be a game some thing you're good at,
And I'm sorry because I can't play your games because I'm a loser;
I'm a loser in a game of three's.
I'm sorry I can't flow your games of emotion because I get easily bleed.
I kept on telling people around me that when it comes to love I am a fragile being,
I befriended tolerance of emotional pain.
That when I start to hold the paper and the pen,
Your name and our memories comes out with a blood stain.
And I need to wake up from this beautiful nightmare;
And I want to escape from this mediocre love of ours.
Wake me up from this aesthetic grave,
I want to feel alive just like how I spent my time with my own self in the park.
My friends once told me to follow my heart,
But when I did, it tore me apart.
I will not blame them from my brokenness because I know they just wanted me to be happy.
I will just write about fixations till I can treat myself a better therapy
See, those nights when I was still crazy about you,
My friends despised me for forgetting them as a part of me.
They never knew I was battling alone because I don't want them to feel pity. 
I remember that very night you told me you'll always love me more than you do to other guys.
And I can't put myself still,
So I have to sever 'us' and I'll be the one to say goodbye.
Good bye, my dear
You'll be categorized now as a history of a tragic fear
You put me into this fear where I can no longer identify a better atmosphere
In every angle of my room it gets darker and colder
My affection in sadness makes the room a little bit lighter
Because whenever I think of you,
It makes me feel dumb that I didn't listen to my friends telling me you were the liar.
Julie Schnell Nov 2016
His eyes were
A deep
Deep
Blue

Just as how they
Make me feel

A deep
Deep
Blue
Julie Schnell Nov 2016
He would take
But never give

He would kiss
But never love

He could hurt her
But she never left

He could lie
And she would forgive

She would give him her world
And he would give her a piece of his

She would cry into his arms
And he would hear but not listen

He would bring her down
And say that everything is her fault

He pushed her to the breaking point
And she had to put herself back together

But

She still would love him
For some reason
She could not explain
I was full panic attack when I wrote this after a small little disagreement with someone I love, and this was the result
Julie Schnell Oct 2016
Memories
Flow back
Like 1000's of photographs
Hidden
Forced back
To try to be forgotten
But then
In a mere second
Just from a look
A hand shake
Just the slightest glance
They all come back
Replaying in my mind
Over
And over
And over again
Forcing the tears not to fall
Holding my head high
I fight
To push them far back
But they will always
Replay
Again and again
Over
And over
In my mind
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