Hadn’t changed numbers.
A voice bristled in my ear,
said why not then, it’s been years.
Months passed.
An amalgam of frail strained hearts,
smells on pillows we tried to lose.
Chose the boulevard in the end,
gaudy nostalgia blazing
like a forest fire in my eyes.
I waited.
Ran a finger over rails
those skaters we knew marked,
back when something called lust
fizzled between you them and me,
through the airwaves;
the lyrics can still trickle
on my tongue if you ask nicely.
Peroxide-blondes, men with muscles
the size of marrows,
a summer pick ‘n’ mix
lacking in looks, in fine taste.
Went to read a book in the sea
for a while,
slurped up half a pint in chapters
then lost the plot again.
That’s when you came
in polka dots,
a pack of colourful taffy
swinging idly from a wrist,
peanut-butter cups
like lily-pads on your palm.
As if you’d never left,
same number, name, face.
Forgot what goodbye was,
tripped over a lost hello.

a star that falls in love is in the most dire situation,

because they must sacrifice their existence to meet with another,

for when two stars come in the closest proximity as possible,

their ultimate fate is to collide and to explode into the darkness of the galaxies.

o.c.

I think I'm letting go

I think that it's time

For your sweet melodies to cease

And my sufferings to die

o.c.

Tears crumple to the ground
But so do the raindrops

And as you can't tell the difference
In which one is which

One soul gone
In a storm of millions
Would not ever seem amiss

what do I do
I've walked thousands of miles
tore my flesh on the rubble
followed the path

climbed to the highest peak
watched the world flow
now I'm at the drop

it's tonight- or never
and I realize
I was never your first choice

You put me second
the same way
I put myself last

and now
my eyes are blurry
and I'm reaching
searching

but I am no ones first
I'm stuck in a dark abyss
I lost my chance to be safe
the second is always a waste

late night I wrote a poem for you
it goes a little something like this

you left
I hurt
you came back
I kicked you to the dirt
now there calling me a *****
and your laughing through your tears
I won't let you leave again
and I won't let you forget
I ached for you
I trembled at night
now you deserve to hurt

I'm throwing this poem in the lake
sobs breaking through
if only I could hurt you
but I can't- I love You

I feel so confident
behind these facades
but in front of you
I'm just a puddle under your feet

I have a problem
I can't concentrate
or smile your way

my self esteem is terribly low
and the time is escaping me
I'm losing all control

but

even so, you try to gather me up
strong embrace
and I'm shaking
begging
I need space

in the pitch black
I'm back to cursing my name
I'm
just
a
disgrace..
hopeless..
worthless..
weak..
timid soul

she is perched on his bed above the covers
he can feel her weight on his tired limbs
she doesn't understand
he can't keep his eyes open long enough to truly see
she smiles for the flash
he treasures his last few hours

her thumb traces his silhouette
doesn't remember this time
no voice
or mannerism  to match him
all she has is this Polaroid candid

and years later
she still doesn't understand
why he had to leave

I'm lying on my bed in the pitch dark
snuggled underneath the covers
my eyes are leaking tears
and I'm too bothered to wipe them away

Sitting up I find
I'm fading
the ground is so far away
and I don't have enough energy to reach

my hands
nor my legs
work
the way they used to

and my mind is skipping
thoughts and memories split in half
the minutes and the hours around me
don't seem to last

I'm less and less than I was
and no ones
bothered to take a look

Tonight I'll be gone
before you get a chance