The old couple sat quietly
on the park bench
Warm  in the spring sunlight.
The years had flown by
like a racing deer.

She turned to him her beautiful
grey eyes still
as young as the springtime.
She whispered, how did you know
that I was the right one for you
all those long years ago my love.

He was quiet for a moment.
then he took her hand into his.
Do you remember when we bought
the house we have lived in a lifetime.

She looked at him confused.
Her silence demanding an answer.
He continued

We looked at a hundred places
And were about to give up.
When the agent took us to our home.
I walked in and said I love this place.
It's beautiful, so warm and cosy
I could spend my life in this house.

Well.
That's how I felt when you let me
Into your heart my love.

Between the heatwave and the storm.
Is the sultry humid air drenched in water,
unable to hold its moisture
for a second longer.
It's heat now unbearable.

A moment of silence beyond stillness.
In the distance night
the thunder is grumbling
like a faraway avalanche.
drumrolls are miles from here
but coming now.
The darkness shining
with the rain bouncing high
from the pavement.

Electrical discharges
crackle as the air explodes.
Looking out of the window
at a cataract of waterfall torrents.
The buildings of the city distorted
like reflections in a hall of mirrors.

Inside the air conditioner creaking
And groaning at its impossible task.
The thunder is now overhead
Filling the room with odor of ozone
In the streets water flows
in rivers to the
overloaded storm drains.

The coolness after the humid air
is drained feels so wonderful.
The air now pure and purged
like a soul in a state of grace.
I think if I ever have to die
I want it to be in a storm like this.
Naked in the rain
as it washes away my sins.
And my maker
roars his forgiveness.

The party is kind of boring
Then all changes in a single moment.
I see her standing next to me.
Stunning and sweet as she always was.
Her smile cuts my heart open
like a knife.
Hi how are you she whispers.
I hope she cannot tell I am lying.
As I tell her I am fine and make up
some recent accomplishments.
My mind is on her figure
Her lips her hair.
I might as well be speaking
In a foreign language.
Words falling like snowflakes
Randomly In the wind.
I ask her how she has been
She frowns lightly.
There’s a hole in my life she said.
I fill up our glasses with wine.
Hope raising in my heart
Like the wine filling my glass.
She tells a few happy stories
It’s weekend and a party
happy is a prerequisite.
We drink quickly
To fill our inner emptiness.
And suddenly its midnight
I hold her coat she slips
her arms into the sleeves.
Like we have done a thousand
times before.
I spin her to me we kiss
I remember her and the hurt melts.
She comes back to my flat
We make love the trapped
tears fall inside my eyes.
Then the warmth of her
floods my soul I am bipolar now.
Feeling over the moon.
I should have stayed on an
emotional carousel not jumped
onto the roller coaster.
I can’t hold it back
I spoil it all.
I love you honey
So much
Please come back to me.
She stiffened slightly in my arms.
The moment was lost.
We will see she whispers.
The house is silent I awaken
to the soft click of my door closing.
Her side of my bed is still warm.
I know my half healed heart
Will reopen the cuts she left before.
And I would bleed
like I did when she first left me.

How can she not know she’s dead?
The wedding ring dull with soap ****.
the house cleaned twice a day.
I follow her in silence
like an afterthought

She drives her car to the store.
Walking in a mist to buy cheese
How can she not know she’s dead?
She walks down each grocery aisle.
Her legs shapely as before
her figure full and warm
I watch her quietly
in a silent storm.
How can she not know she’s dead?

She tosses her head
her hair flips
like when we are in our bed.
Where she makes love to me
like a troublesome job .
on her to-do list.
How can she not know she’s dead?

Strangers see her fake
white toothed smile.
I see her for the ***** she is.
How can she not know she’s dead?

I follow her to the car
Like something she forgot she said.

How long is always.?
she asked.
He gazed into her beautiful eyes.
It is very long
but not as long as forever he said.
So forever is the longest time there is then?
No, my darling he said softly.
Eternity is longer than forever.
So then how long is eternity
she whispered.
Is it perhaps too long to measure?
No, I know how long eternity is he said.
please tell me how long is it.
It is the time that passes
Until you return to me.

In France the language is sweet.
Not just the accent
but the heart of it.
We say ” I miss you”
They say “ tu me manques”
Which means
“you are missing from me”
Like an arm or a leg perhaps.
Like I feel
when I am missing you.

How we laughed.......


We laughed all day
at a silly song.
You threw my homework
In the pond.

We laughed so much
I peed my pants
In a pool upon the floor.

Our childhood passed
so fast, so fast.
I wished it would never end.
You and I
We were more than best of friends.

After finals you threw your *******
from the window of the car.
And then I threw out mine.
We got a ticket from the policeman
And laughed as we paid the fine.

Then we both got wedding rings
Our bellies grew and grew.
How fast the time did fly
You laughed and laughed
And said at last
We have learned how to multiply

In business you laughed
your way to the top.
Who would have guessed
You were to be the big success.

Then on 9/11 the planes came down.
And the towers turned to ash
You died and my world
is now a sadder place
Oh God!
How I miss your laugh.

How We Laughed
a 9/11 story
by
Jude Kyrie


We laughed away our silly childhood
Swimming laughing all we could
laughing playing everyday
Together Covered in mud

We laughed all day
at a silly song.
You threw my homework
In the pond.

We laughed so much
I peed my pants
In a pool on the floor.
We laughed at everything
Everything that we saw.

After finals you threw your *******
from the car
And then I threw out mine
We got a ticket from the policeman
And laughed as we paid the fine.

We dumped two losers
on a date
Then went off to graduate.

The we both got wedding rings
Our bellies grew and grew.
How fast the time did fly
You laughed and laughed
And said at last
Weve learned how to multiply

In business you laughed
your way to the top
Who would haved guessed
You were to be the big  success

Then on 9/11 the planes came down.
And the towers turned to ash
You died and the world
Is  now a sadder place
Oh God!
How I miss your laugh

How We Laughed
a 9/11 story
by
Jude Kyrie*


We laughed away our silly childhood
Swimming laughing all we could
laughing playing everyday
Together Covered in mud

We laughed all day
at a silly song.
You threw my homework
In the pond.

We laughed so much
I peed my pants
In a pool on the floor.
We laughed at everything
Everything that we saw.

After finals you threw your *******
from the car
And then I threw out mine
We got a ticket from the policeman
And laughed as we paid the fine.

We dumped two losers
on a date
Then went off to graduate.

The we both got wedding rings
Our bellies grew and grew.
How fast the time did fly
You laughed and laughed
And said at last
Weve learned how to multiply

In business you laughed
your way to the top
Who would haved guessed
You were to be the big  success

Then on 9/11 the planes came down.
And the towers turned to ash
You died and the world
Is  now a sadder place
Oh God!
How I miss your laugh

In my eye a vision is lost
It is the one that I love the most

Come back to me in soft velvet blues.
Color my soul with your purple hues

In my eye the past appears
Showing me all the passing years
Torment my mind with your vivid view
Burn my heart with silken velvet blue

Oh! Please set me free
So free of you.

I always called her Ma'am
A Story poem
By
Jude Kyrie


Ma’am

*I remember the first time
that I met her.
It was at the orphanage.
I was a lifer.
Who adopts fourteen
year old boys?
Who are always running away.
Apparently no one.

She was beautiful.
and had the most angelic face.
Oh! her smile,
it was like purest sunshine.
Unsure of how to address a Nun
I always called her Ma’am.
She did not seem to mind

I think that was when I realized
she was the only friend I had.
What I did not know was
I was falling in love with her.
That confusing rite of passage
from Boyhood to Manhood.
Full of emotions that
I had never felt before.
Or maybe I just needed
someone of my own to love.

I have never seen
as much kindness
before or since.
It flowed from her.

She stopped me
from running away again,
and taught me
how to read books
great books.
by important authors.

To learn poetry
and to talk about
its meaning.
At this point I knew I loved her.
She took me to the mission where
the homeless lived and we served
in the free kitchen together.
I would have followed her to the moon.

She was relocated
after a couple of years.
To a mission in Africa.
I was desolate
Begging to go with her.
I even asked her to marry me.
She smiled and said
if she was free
she would marry me
in a heartbeat.

But explained gently
to my young heart
that she was already
married to her faith.
Showing me her gold ring.

She died a few years later
her letters stopped coming
It was a bout of malaria.
But I believe that God missed her
As much as I did.

Now when I feel alone or sad.
I open an old shoe box.
the only thing I took
from the orphanage.
And read her stacks of letters.
one by one.
Always in the order
that she sent them to me.
And as usual
I feel warm and safe again

My little daughter sometimes
Says who is the pretty lady daddy
I lift her up to look at her picture
closely on the family room wall.
And I say to her
That's sister Angelica honey
She was daddy's best friend.

What I always needed
was you,
always just you.
To be part of me like my
glasses or the
book by my chair.
Perhaps like the firelight
To rest In your arms
so full of warmth
comfort and safety.

Before we met
I dreamed of you..
you saw me there
in my dreams.
I Know you did.
I was holding out my arms
waiting for you.
Holding them out
until they ached.
Night after night
until dreams fade
into coffee and toast.

But I always knew
you were there for me.
That you would
come to me.one day.
Just as I Knew
the stars
are always there
even when
the sun is shining.
and no one can see them -

Today I awaken early.
It is our anniversary
a whole year has passed.
I am filled with love for you.
The sun yellow bedspread
glows like bright sunshine
but pales to my humor.
I have fed upon
the fatted calf of life.
Your hair spreads
over the pillows
yellow like ripe corn.
I feed upon the vision of you.
Filling with desire.
filling with gratitude.
Exploding with need.
Needs that this moment
can be fulfilled by you.
Only by you..
I am swallowing life's bounty
In greedy mouthfuls.
Happier than any saint.
I swallow happiness filling
my heart with you.
So full so gorged with life
I am fat with love.

They said she was easy.
But I did not see that.
I loved her I know I did.
At fourteen she was more
of a woman than a girl.
I was fourteen too
My eyes were in awe of her.
The other girls in class
we’re jealous of her beautiful
body now moving to womanhood.
Far faster than theirs were.
Boys in the school looked at her
making up lies about her.
Laughing in knowing fantasy.
At sixteen I was still in love with her
She was now sleeping around.
Using her body like a credit card
to buy all she wanted.
She gave pieces of herself
But never her heart
to boys eager to take them.
At twenty she was jaded and hard.
Unable to see the truth of herself.
That she was beautiful and worthy
of being admired for who she is
Not for the hurt and bruises
of grasping hands.
I was still in love with her.
And asked her out.
But she refused putting me
In the pile of  males
That had damaged her
So badly
over her childhood.
But I was still in love with her.

I am a woman
my heartstrings are
tuned to romance
like violin strings.
A lover is not enough for me.
I need the tender
bow of the violinist.
To reach all the
emotions to which
my feminine heart is capable.

The highs and lows the pathos
the allegro
all the colors it can feel.
I  dance at the edge of a deep chasm
I know its painful jagged edges.
The marks and wounds it leaves.
It is a place I have climbed
out of many times.
For I am a woman.

I have learned
to wear heartbreak
like a laugh line on my face.
Not to drown in the
bitter waters of sadness.
Love has gone
it is lost for now.
But now my heart
is a free space
It is mine only mine.

A heart that is as
permanent as stone.
Full of passions
that it will find again.
The old loves are now
inside its memory.
It now fills
with the salty waters
of the sea of hope.

Even before I came here
I was part of the ancient sea.
The primordial mix
Salty and teaming with existence

Now after countless eons
I walk outside of its boundaries.
My feet feel it's strong presence
Pulling me to it depths
As I step into the edges
of wet sand.
I hear it's whisper
in salted winds.

Come back to me
Come back
to your mother.
You are mine
and I am yours

I belong to the sea
She is my blood.
The wavelets
are my heartbeat.
The seagrass my veins.

Nothing ever ends
the gulls cry from above.
Only new beginnings
Only new life.

You belong to me
She pulses
from her mighty depths.
I am your eternal mother.

Breathe your air
Sing in the sunlight of earth.
But return to me.
You belong to the sea.

1965

The plane was unstable
But that's what test pilots do
Work out the kinks out
It was called the Lockheed starfighter
the updated version.
The landing gear was stuck
I had started for  the airport six times but my fuel was in vapour.
No choice it landed belly up .
I saved 29 million of the country's money.
I got out of the plane they  
rushed me to hospital
That's where I got two crash landings in one day.
She was a nurse but so beautiful.
She said I got to do your vitals honey.
My vitals were already standing to attention.
She noticed but said nothing.
Just smiled.
I asked if I was due a bed bath
Still smiling she said I looked like I needed a cold shower.
She would look into it
We married six months late
I don't think in my long life I was ever happier.
My buddy was a some kind of weird science guy working on secret government projects.
I don't know why we clicked but we did.
He said your gonna **** yourself in one of those flying coffins
And I am working to bring you back.
He was right that ******* widowmaker blasted into the trees on landing
The took me to the ghospital he said he's dead.
They put me in one of he frozen contraptions a cryogenic vault way below the base.
And froze me.
Then he got killed in a lab explosion and time went by

2016
¡the building was being demolished
But I was a popsicle in the cryogenic tube
A young construction guy found the forgoten vault.
He unfastened the tubes and gas exploded in room
The top opened
And he saw me below.
He ran screaming out to report the incident
By then the ice was melting I was awaken in a new reality
fifty years later
I got up sirens were blasting everywhere
I was naked but looked like I was when I was frozen.
I found some clothes in the lab and put them on.
When I got outside I was blinded by the California sun
Then cars were streaming by
A helicopter flying over head
Flashing neon signed everywhere it was bedlam.
I ran and ran
Then found a newspaper in the garbage
It said August 12  2016
It hit me
I was a ******* time traveler.
I was in a state of confusion
But this was a residential area.
A nice ranch bungalow was in front
I saw a big tree house for the kids
Running up the ladder I stopped and wept
Where was Jenny my house ?
I added twenty to fifty one *** ***
I still looked Twenty four.
I fell asleep
The noise awoke me it was dark.
A guy was trying to put heavy moves on the pretty lady in the kitchen she was screaming
I ran down into the house and the guy told to get lost.
I asked him to leave quietly the lady does not seem interested he went for me
But I kicked his ******* ***.
And threw him out. He had just had his *** kicked by a 74 year old geezer.
Her little boy was watching
The ******* television was the size of the movie screen
She told me she had dated this guy  months earlier but he was an *******
Sixties girls did not swear much this one had a dose of sailors mouth.
It looked like I had missed out on some smoking burning
bras ****
She let me stay couchsurfing
The kid was nice I liked him
I told him where I was from
looked at me and said you're a ****** but you helped mom.
The kid looked into some kind of spiders web on a small walkman thing no wires how did it work.h e called it an eye phone.
Then he found my buddy's address.
We phoned it was his daughter he's dead she said before I was born his lab blew up.
We went over the next day.
She said you are Jimmy right.
I said yes
I told her I lost my wife jenny the love of my life.
I lost her by sort of dying myself.
She smiled No she's alive.
She gave me a book it had my buddy's neat handwriting in it.
If for any reason I get disabled and Jimmy shows give him this.
It told me of his secret experiments in cryonics.
Then it dropped the bombshell.
Ageing cannot be reversed.
You will get to the age you should be in  days after reanimation.
I looked at my hands they were getting ******* liver spots.
My hair was turning grey.
I could carry groceries in the bags forming under my eyes.
I did not have time to waste.
I had a four hundred miles trip ahead.
I caught the bus to Seattle then took a car to the ocean
Her house was on a hill
It was windy I was out of breath just getting to it from the road
I felt weak and old I think I am going to die before I get there.
Then I was at the front door just a few more steps
And I would see her once more.
The bell of course ..I rang the bell
No answer the house was silent.
I fell to my knees weeping like a child.
I was too late
But then a beautiful older lady appeared behind me.
I recognised her eyes and that smile.
She dropped a basket of cut flowers onto the floor
Oh my god she gasped ...Jimmy?
Yes Jenny it's me
She held me close and we embraced.
Oh I have dreamt of your return she said.
We kissed again
Some passions defy age and time.

A year later

She made me remarry her to renew my vows
You might have forgotten your old ones she reasoned.
The person that gave her away to me
Was a beautiful lady about 49 years old
She kissed us both
Wishing us a life of joy.
I love you mom
And you too daddy
It was Alice my beautiful daughter.
Who introduced me to my granddaughter Jane.
And my great granddaughter.
Of nine months old Abby.
Who capped of the whole event
With her first half word
Gan Gan.

you tell me
you hate your smile
and the way your eyes
are too far apart
you tell me your
breast are too small
and your *** is too big
you don't like your accent.
but listen up my lady
I don't care
I see you with the beauty
my eyes want to see
I want you
and love you
and always will.
because when I look
at you
the world is a brighter place
I don't care if it takes
forever
I will convince you
of how beautiful you are?
And that you must
never change a hair
for me.

lf I Was A Woman


If I was a woman
I would buy a **** red dress.
Almost see through.
Tight in fact
way too tight.
I would wear it in
the company of
handsome men.
They would beg for me
Dreaming of tearing
it off my body.
I would wear
it day and night.
Low cut no very low cut showing
my ample cleavage.
Leaving them salivating.
I would walk into town
Like I am the only woman
left on earth.
As if I could take any
one of them I wanted.
When I found that dress
It would be like
my real feminine skin
Silky soft to the touch
full of tantalizing promises.
They could not tear
that **** dress off me
with hot pincers.
They would have to bury me
in that ****** dress.
If I was a woman.
If I was a woman

If I was a woman
I would find
a **** red dress.
Almost see through.
Tight in fact
way too tight.
I would wear it in
the company of
handsome men.
They would beg for me
Dreaming of tearing
it off my body.
I would wear
it day and night.
Low cut
no very low cut showing
my ample cleavage.
Leaving them salivating.
I would walk into town
Like I am the only woman
left on earth.
As if I could take any
one of them I wanted.
When I found that dress
It would be like
my real feminine skin
Silky soft to the touch
full of tantalizing promises.
They could not tear
that **** dress off me.
They would have to bury me
in that ****** dress.
If I was a woman.
If I was a woman.

When we kids I remember her.
She tripped me up in the
playground grazing both my knees.
She broke into my locker at school
and  stole all my Candy stash.
She copied my math homework
getting me an F.
Then she told my first girlfriend
I was secretly Gay.
I married her last year
If that’s all she wanted
Why didn’t she
Just say so.

Do you remember
Long ago when
we were children.
You tripped me up
In the schoolyard
and I grazed my knees.
You stole my
Halloween candy stash
From my locker.
You copied my math test
and got me an F
When we were in high school
You told my new
girlfriend I was gay.
I married you last year
If that's all you wanted
Why did you not
Just say so?

If you go away
on a blossomed day.
Then take all the
perfumed flowers away.
and the spangled sky
that poured the night
and made our hearts cry
when the peace was long
and the earth stood quiet
for the night birds song
when our love was new.
and the songbirds flew
every song that was sung
when our love was young
And the moonlights glow
that we used to know
if you go away
.,.....if you go away
             ....If you go away

If you go away as I know you will.
Go on a summer day when the air is still
And the sun is warm and the flowers shine
And the world is sweet like summer wine.

If you go away as I know you will.
Leave when the nightbird's song is loud and shrill
And there's no chance of rain in an azure sky.
And the summer breezes cry goodbye.

If you go away las I know you will.
And the futures filled with only time to ****
It will be kinder losing you on an afternoon
When the world is sweet and the flowers bloom.

If you go away.........

If you go away..........

If you go away..........

If you go away
A villenelle
By
Jude Kyrie


*His face misted in the fog of tears in my eyes
This was the final moment of our last kiss.
But then tears are not the way for us to say goodbye

He looked at me with love as I sighed
Embracing me much too close my face in his.
His face misted in the fog of tears in my eyes.


I would not let him see me cry
To know how much my heart will miss
But then tears are not the way for us to say goodbye


He had to let me go he could  never live a lie.
No more his arms to bring me bliss.
His face misted in the fog of tears in my eyes.


Don't leave me please just one more try
But the words were silenced by a farewell kiss
But then tears are  not the way for us to say goodbye.

I turned and walked away I would rather die
My heart fading at all the love I would miss
His face misted in the fog of tears in my eyes
But then tears are  not the way for us to say goodbye

If you really want to love her like I do
by
Jude Kyrie

*She gets a little testy when she is tired
never try to sing her to sleep
with a lullaby she may hit you.
If you buy her flowers.
Never buy her red carnations.
They remind her of funerals.
If you bring her morning tea.
Don’t serve it too hot.
She burned her mouth on
Hot chocolate as a little girl.
But the thing I worry about
most of all.
Is that you may be insincere
and fool her into giving you her heart
causing it break in pieces.
I know how painful that is.
As my heart is still broken
even after all this time
since she left me.

If your heart has empty places
And no music not even one song
It makes you feel that you are sad
And must’ve done someone wrong.

But having empty places
Means there’s room there for love to grow
And the ones that once abode there
Were meant to come and go.

And all your empty places
Means your life need not be dull
You are free to meet the people
That one day will make it full.

So if you heart has empty places
Just fill it with a song
Perhaps they are only empty waiting
For the right one to come along.

you were the one for me.
You saw the confusions
Hiding in my heart and
Took me to visit yours.

We made love and
you showed me the
Moon and stars falling
like beautiful rains from
.the summer skies.

You removed the fences
that had kept me
In my childhood.
Showed me the planets
Untouched and full
of possibilities.

Should I never
find this intensity
And passion in the
lovers yet to come.

I shall know this.
I have made love.
And have seen the
Moon stars falling to earth
on a spangled summer night.

I am exhausted
only being your friend.
its too much work
putting a calm
asexual tone in my voice.
To not look at you
with the lust
that burns in my heart.
I just cant be
only your friend anymore.
I ache to have you wildly.
So wild our words
become inarticulate.
Replaced with
primeval sounds
that originate
in hidden places
within our bodies.
Sounds so sweet they flow
out of us like honey.
leaving me
drained and submissive
with all desire
and need silenced.

Tonight the candelabra
of moon and stars
fill the room with sprinkling light.
Sleep will not come
This night I open my memories
The ones of you
I will never forget.
Only of you.

I am still not ready to let you go.
Not just yet, stay awhile..
if only in my memory
I close my eyes and see you clearly.
So lovely to me.
So beautiful. So real.

I don’t want to lose that.
Perhaps one day
remembering your face
will be like the words
of a half forgotten tune.
Don't fade away like mist.
Stay in my waking dreams.
The ones I do not
have to awaken from.

Above me
the paper white moon is
surrounded by a million stars.
Already we are just
a familiar memory to them.
One of their sweet ones.
But still
only for a fleeting moment
Of their forever.

I won’t sleep tonight if you stay.
I promise.
It’s just that when you left me.
I was not ready to let you go.

Are the stars and moon still
shining for you in the great forever?
Can you read our life?
Do you see the us that was.
One day I will find you again.
I know for sure.
We will write another beautiful story.

But tonight my love.
Please! Don’t go just yet.
I am just not ready
to let you go
Not Just yet.

I just don't love you anymore.



*A friend told me you saw
me kissing another woman.
Its true I am seeing someone.
I guess that's partly the reason
you called me tonight.
also
I know you are on your own again.
our friends told me
the one you left me for
he had left you.

They said you are close
to losing your job.
and drink every night
hardly ever sober anymore.

I am so sorry I did not answer
your barrage of voice mails
text and emails you sent.
but you have to understand
I have found someone new
and well.
I just dont love you anymore.

I just don't love you anymore.



*A friend told me you saw
me kissing another woman.
Its true I am seeing someone.
I guess that's partly the reason
you called me tonight.
also
I know you are on your own again.
our friends told me
the one you left me for
he had left you.

They said you are close
to losing your job.
and drink every night
hardly ever sober anymore.

I am so sorry I did not answer
your barrage of voice mails
text and emails you sent.
but you have to understand
I have found someone new
and well.
I just dont love you anymore.

I had that recurring dream again last night.
Awakening with a start.
Perspiration was
Pouring down my face.
The car, the children,
Molly my wife.

The heavy truck spinning in front
on the icy new York   freeway.
Explosions so loud they deafened me.
Then the silence the total quietness
as they drifted away.
And i was left alone.

I moved out of the tiny inner-city cottage.
Is was now over  two years ago
but I just left it the way it was.
The kid's toys strewn on the floor.
Bread and cookies on the table.
I would never return there,  never.
Not even to get my beloved alto sax.
the key for me to making a living.

I followed the cop every day?
The one that pulled me from the wreck.
I did not know why i did this,
Sure she was pretty enough.
But that was not it.

I was once told that if you save
Someone's life they belong to you.
Well, she could have his life.
He did not want it anymore.

She entered the bank
He saw the robbery before she did.
The robber lifted his weapon before
She had time to move.
Without fear or forethought,I jumped
in front of her
and took a bullet for her.

It was in the arm straight in and out.
She put three in the perp,
dropping him dead.
before he could fire another shot.

I fell down she held me in her arms.
As I was bleeding out.
Why did you do that, she said
I would have been killed.
That's why
I whispered.

She visited me in hospital
Brought me grapes
I hate ******* grapes.

She had no idea who I was
When the car wreck happened
I was covered in blood and EMS
Ran me to the hospital.
Names don't stay with people
Only faces.

When I got out of the hospital.
She appeared at my rented room door.
With a coffee and doughnuts
I don't talk much since…..well just since.
Who the **** are you she asked
A God ******  Angel.
I said I don't think God dams his angels.

She seemed to like me.
**** knows why
I wasn't nice to her.
She started looking for me on her shift.
Grabbing a coffee and suggesting dates.
I told her no offense lady
don't arrest me.
But I don't date anymore.

But she was a New York cop.
and a woman,
******* relentless.
She said she would make life hell for me
If I didn't take her for a date.
******* women.

I gave in and said I would join her
At the blues club nearby.
We got there at 10 pm after her shift
She looked ******* hot.
Not like a ******* cop anymore.
The blues were playing
I heard the alto sax wailing
It cried tears
like my soul was feeling.
But my souls eyes were dry.

She saw the tears welling in my eyes
And held me to her soft breast.
Tell me what it is
Is it me she asked?
I was just silent.

The owner of the club saw me.
He said, Tony
where the ******* been man.
It's been two years since you came here.
We miss your sax wailing boy.
He said where's your sax?
Don't you have it anymore?
I shook my head it was a lie
But I had my reasons.

He grabbed the alto sax
from the band playing.
Make it weep Tony.
My heart needs to hear you play man.
I moved quietly to the stage.
And the room went silent.
Just as if the Angel Gabriel
was going to wail his horn.

They remembered me they stood up
and clapped for five minutes.
Blues people don't change.
They just get ******* older.

I said nothing.
But played nature boy.

Peggy got up and took the mike
She wept the words as I played.
Tears falling down
her old sad blackface.

……..There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered
very far, very far
Overland and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he…….

My cop was crying too.
She said I don't cry ever see.
I am a cop I see ****.
Who the **** are you she said?
But I let the sax wail for my words.
It poured my sadness into the night.

She got my full name from Peggy.
She says that boy needs a woman.
But then a woman is Peggy's
answer to all men's problems.

She run the info though the computers
at the precinct.
those ******* things
Know every leak you ever take.

She saw the car wreck
the body bags.
Me, covered in blood.
She knew it all.
I was exposed.

She even found my mother in law's place.
And went there.
She said he's heartsick honey.
He won't go home.
Won't let anyone in.
He blames himself.
He's never cried once
It's eating him inside.

She said I can't find him
Do you know where he is?
He's over at the cemetery.

She missed her shift change over.
And went to the Park Lawn
I  was kneeling by a family
grave talking to my kids.

She went to me and slipped
Her arm around me
,I turned my head
Into her breast.
she kissed my head.
and I wept and wept.
I sobbed like my alto sax wailed.

She kissed my eyes.
Let it out, honey
Let it all go
Don't stop let it go
.
She drove us to my house
The mess was on the floor.
The stale food stank.
It was in a mess a disaster.
The kid's toys spread everywhere.
My sax on the hall table.
saying nothing
she started cleaning it up.

She said quietly.
Did I not save your life right?
I  said yes you did.
And you saved mine right
I said yes I did.
She said
Unless we both say  that
we're even stevens.
You know what it means.

He nodded
Yeah...I know.
It means
We belong to each other now.
You got it straight McGraw she quipped.

Two years later
Tony came back from his gig
at the blues club.
He had a recording contract in his pocket.
The money would come in real handy
What with their second baby
coming in a few months.
Kids were pricey little buggers.

I know that I was never enough for you.
You with your dreams and plans
That could soar into the stratosphere
Me so grounded to mother earth
Afraid to take the risk
of the dreams you loved so much.

I know that I was never enough for you
Yet even so I loved you so very much.
I fought my fears and closed my eyes
Embarking onto your spaceship.
Even though I knew I would fall from space
And crash back onto the earth I loved.

I know I was never enough for you.
Yet even knowing all of this
Would break my heart in pieces.
I would change nothing about us.

You see my love.
For just a tiny moment in my life
I touched the moon and stars
and visited the vast exciting
unknown limits of outer space.
And it was you who took me there

I know now
what it all means.
Why did no one ever tell me?
When I was just a little girl.
That boys with china blue eyes
and long dark eyelashes.
That smell of cigarettes.
And taste like summer rain.
And whisper sweet words
like the roll of spilt quicksilver.
Are the reasons
why
my pillow is so wet.
and my poems
have tears.

At first I would have nothing
to do with him.
He waited outside my
small flat everyday
Soaked to the skin
in the November rains.

I asked him to go away
But he flashed his
beautiful Irish smile.
And said no
not until you go out with me.
I will wait here forever.

I thought a few more days
He will leave.
But that night I heard
a commotion outside.
He had a group
of Irish musicians
And was
serenading me with
I'll take you home again Kathleen
And
When Irish eyes are smiling.

I don't know when
I fell in love with him.
It might of been then.

All I know it was long ago
And they were
the happiest days of my life.

He sang to me everyday
And called me
his American Colleen.
He always
made me feel so beautiful.
I have lost my smiling
  Irish singer now.
When the sickness came
He just smiled
and say it was a bit of a cold
But I knew ...I knew….
Now on cold November nights.
When the Seattle rain is endless.
I look at the
bloom of the old lamppost
Outside my flat window.
Where he waited
and sang for me?

And in my head
I can hear his sweet Irish brogue
Singing so sweetly his soft celtic voice.

*I’ll take you home again Kathleen
To where you heart will feel no pain

I feel like I am a guitar and the fingers
of lovers are strumming the strings
Spinning my emotions
Commanding me to stay
She said

We walked the busy streets of Paris
Too full of lovers overflowing in spring
Looking to find us a little place
In a Paris with no space

Its fingers are making me sing love songs
I am so in love with you
So in love
she sighed

Stopping by the Arc de triumph
I looked at her
so beautiful
so sweet
so much what I needed.

We walked from studio to studio
all along the left bank
seeking pure light from the north
to touch her beauty as I painted her.

I feel like it is you inside me
Your fingers playing my heart
Allowing it to beat and flow blood
Keeping it safe and loved
she said*

I entered her through
the door of her heart
that she left open for me.
In Paris
that long ago springtime.
And found my home
Where I would always stay

Is it something about the wind.
You left us so quickly daddy.
Only weeks after mom
fell into the cold sleep.
Now at the old house
I am clearing away all
the things you left here
remaining In our lives.
This task seems endless
But I am sitting quietly
in your old leather chair
the Times and your glasses
are still on the side table.
You were completing the crossword.
It is half done.
I start to finish it.
Almost feeling you there.
Telling me to use a pencil
to easily erase my incorrect answers.
Even though you always used a pen.

I am feeling vulnerable daddy
Like when I was a little girl.
I find my mind saying
Who will look after me now?
Who else will have the answers
to all my problems.?
The right answers you can
Write in ink not pencil.
It was always you daddy.
From being a child
You would raise me up in the air.
And say you have the world by the tail
my kitten.
Young smart and beautiful.
I don’t feel any of those things right now.
I just want you and the faint smell
Of your aromatic pipe tobacco.
And to hear your soft kind voice daddy.
I know you did not have much to leave.
But you left in me a joy and love
and the overwhelming privilege
of being your daughter.
I know since being older
I did not say this as much
as perhaps I should have.
Thank you for always being you
I love you Dad.

A Story From Nam

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man.

I love you man
A Story From Nam

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man

I love you man.
A Story From Nam

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man.

We were so young back then.
Seventeen or eighteen maybe.
We got to be more than friends
Soldiers get closer than wives.
In a jungle a million miles from home.

We exchanged letters
to give to our girls back home.
In case---well you know
Just in case.
Even going to sleep at night
We would say I love you, man.
Then wait for the response
I love you too man.

The attack had no warning
Bullets flying everywhere
The clearing a blazing
light show of tracer lights.
Guys fell all around me.
Airpower cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was hit badly.
I held him in my arms
like a baby as he left us.
His last words were
I love you, man.
The last words he heard
were from me.
Not as much as I love you, man.

I was hit and bleeding
But I did not hurt with the shock.
Six months later
I went home to the USA.
I drove my old car to west Virginia.
And found the old trailer park.
I knocked on the door of a small trailer.
And his beautiful girl answered it.
She was holding a baby boy.

I passed the unopened letter to her
As tears filled her eyes.
I lied and said
the blood on it was mine.

She passed the little guy to me
To hold him as she read it.
I kissed his tiny forehead
gently and I said
See Buddy
you’re not dead at all
I love you, man.

I love you man
A Story From Nam

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man

I love you man
A Story From Nam

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man

The jungle was speaking to me
in its ceaseless
chattering of the night.
The predators here
are not animals
they are humans
they have guns and weapons
to which there is no defense.
Only survival is to attack first.
Is that the real
law of the jungle?
I think of my father.
what would he do?
He always knows
klwhat to do.
It occurs to me
how much a boy
needs his father
in such bad places.
The rain of gunfire
chatters like fireworks,
tracer bullets leave
a glow in the dark night.
almost pretty to watch.
I should not be here
I am eighteen, why me?
I never won a lottery
but my draft card
came up lucky.
for someone else.
I stand up as the offensive
increases in its intensity.
The bullets rip
across my chest.
I am falling
no pain just silence
beautiful silence.
The last breath I take
is gifted to the woman
that bore me.
I whisper
I love you Mom

I love you Maytime
A short love story
By
Jude Kyrie.

I was sitting on a
central park bench
alone again.
She was gone
my job was gone.
It's ok she never loved me
I thought.
Well perhaps I never loved her either.
I loved the money
hated the job.
so where am I now?

The power job the money
the recognition
The trophy girlfriend.
That's what I wanted
That's what I desired.
Well they had all gone now.
And I felt so ****** alone.

That's when I met
the the crazy lady .
The hippie on steroids.
She said
Hello Maytime.
I said Maytime?
Yes she purred.
wanna be my Maytime?

I need a new project
and you look like
you need saving.
Come back with me
and have a coffee she said.
She was sort of hippie pretty.

I followed her.
What's the harm in a coffee.?
It was a walk up
just on the outskirts
of central park.
It was nice
except for the six puppies
running about the place.
I steal them
from the perfume company labs.
They use them
for experimental purposes
They hurt their eyes.
she explained her crime
in a matter of fact manner.
So I break in and get them.
I save things she said.

I will save you too
if you want.
I---I don't need saving
I explained.
You do so badly
Just look how lost you are.
No job no girl
no love
no happiness.
No scent of a lover on you.
You are lost in the wilderness.

Stay here just for Maytime.
thirty days
I will cure you.
I turned to the door to leave
She was nutty as a fruitcake.
But she swirled me to face her
I saw her inner beauty.
Her eyes were blue as the spring sky.
Her lips soft and curved at the ends
In a smile
that was just bursting to get out.

It was me I think
Yes for sure it was me.
I pulled her close
and kissed her perhaps
too hungry
too greedy
too taking
Too presumptuous.

Slowly she begged
slowly Maytime
Gently be gentle honey.
I left her and ran outside.

She followed me out
into the deluge of night rain.
Don't go she purred
be my sweet Maytime.
She held my hand.
Holding my head
into her soft breast.

I thought she could not see
the tears falling down my face.
But she knew...she knew
they were there.

I followed her back
into the apartment.
She took me to her bed.
I was quiet and gentle
Just like she asked of me
Just like I wanted to be
Somewhere deep inside myself.

I said stupid things to her.
That a man like me never says.

Like you are so beautiful
I need you
I need you so much
You are an angel
help me please.
help me find me.

I reached for her so gently
Our lips finding electricity
when they almost
but not quite touched.
Igniting sparks in me that
I had never felt.before.

She took off my shirt
I was hers all of hers.
She kissed away my my tears
don't stop them
let them out she whispered.
Let them all go honey.
And she made love to me.

I was found
at last this was the me
I had been lost
for so long
in the wilderness of
New York City life.
I slept deeply
and peacefully
for the first time
In years.
I lay in her arms all night.
On waking I whispered
I am falling in love with you.
I felt her stiffen in our embrace.

Don't ever say that Maytime.
Never say that that again
Or I Will end us early.
I knew she meant it.

I got a phone call
my boss offered me
my old job back.
She said
if you take it we are over
It's what you hate doing.
I turned it down
and lay in homage of her.

May went by
A day at time unnoticed.
I felt all I could not say
I was in love.
Hopelessly in love with her.

Then I took the puppies for a walk!
When I got back
she was being sick real badly.
I held her close
and she was crying
in the middle of the day.
Hush hush honey
it's ok
I will make it ok
I promised.
But I couldn't.

She was very sick
She had always been sick.
This saving thing
was her redemption.

She said are you cured maytime
it's only the twenty fifth of May.
I said yes sweetheart
I am cured.
I have been cured
since the first day of May.

When she left me
It was the last day of May.
I was out finding forever homes
for Brahms and Liszt
Two of her puppies.

She left a note for me
by her bed
on the night table.
She wrote
I always loved you
sweet Maytime.
Always.

I got back to work last week
It's not much of a job
The pay is lousy
The hours are long.
But I help people
at the homeless shelter.
And funnily enough
I really love the work.

I know we are not in love
not like poetically
or Romcom movie love.
but you come over
and sleep inside me
night after night.
and the loneliness
is locked outside
in the cold night.
We are not in love.
But you are my
most precious
and beautiful
bad habit..