I feel numb and cold. I
feel isolated and bored.
My hands have sinned
again. This body is no
longer holy without you
by its side. Without your
hands caressing my
arms and thighs.

I painted a map on the
wall. Planned to build a
raft to float across the
ocean hoping to land
on your shores.

I can't sleep alone
anymore. I have to
move next to you. I
forgot what is it like to
feel. Lost my appetitive
and will to survive. I
need you badly in my
bed sheets tonight. I
stained the walls
with geography.

Paint splattered on my
shirt. And now I'm left
with nothing to do but
to write you a love note
and head out to build
that boat.

I'll be kicking these
waves soon. By dawn
i'll be wrapped up in
your arms. And we'll
be kissing again under
the moon light. But now ,
i have these feral
waves to
fight ~

I have heard of people
tasting stars

and I wonder how their mouths
never filled with ash

I have cradled dying stars and
rocked them

as if they came from
my body

dipping my toe into the
waters of the universe

I am a child of flames
no cooler than the

sun

but I cannot taste myself
without surrending to

becoming that ash

Were you a summer citrus fruit?
I'm unsure.
You struck me with a sweetness
So demanding it curled my tongue;
Flooded my mouth with hours of sunlight
And warmth.
I peeled you eagerly down
Knowing each sliver as I handled it
Consumed with the simple scent
Of something so pure and clean.
Eagerly cast aside, I exposed
The sweetest secret
And felt your balmy flesh with my fingers
Learning each groove and plain
As if you'd never wither.
Silken skin brushed my lips
And I felt the hours of  sun,
The showers of rain that resonated
In each pace of time that shaped you
Into the gentle perfection before me.
Tasting all of that, I swore you were a flavor
Somewhere between citrus
Summer grass and lilac.

Were you a citrus fruit?
Who knows,
But in your absence
Any sweetness has been a
Vague reproduction
An echo of a necessity
That tasted of luxury.

Winter has settled in
And paley, I am deficient.

I am
Nothing more
Than a bag of bones.
My rib cage
Is a prison you rend
In twain, tear the mesh,
And sift fruitlessly through.
I am
An empty shell
You discarded;
All unraveled ends
And frayed edges.
I am
Orange peels
Carrying the essence
Of something sweet
As an echo of scent
And color-
-I will
Return to the earth
And start again.

You dipped into me like a pool
you hadn't swam in all summer, a hole
in the back of your mind you almost forgot
was still there. It was as if you predicted
the big splash, the droplets like crystals
I could see through to your heart, reading
your feelings like a bestseller on a lounge chair,
basking in the sun on the side. You broke
through my surface with your hands, those hands
that strip me down to just my tan
and hold my ribs like a steering wheel, driving
our bodies together as I kiss the chlorine
from your lips. I'd wrap you up in a towel
just to trace the ***** of it from hip to hip,
use that momentum to tell you
how much I love the way your smile looks
when you think my eyes are closed
as we lay on top of the sheets with a fan
circulating in the limited space we leave between
my baby sundress and your khaki shorts,
our bare feet playing with each others toes.
I like the way your hands feel in my hair,
pulling it down the line drawn on my back
with your knuckles, landing in the dimples
of my back like a raft, floating
on the feeling suspended in this moment
where I bite your lip and you sigh into another kiss.
I like how it doesn't get dark until eight,
how you make little circles around my hipbones,
the sound of your laugh as it bounces off my own,
smiling into another push as you pull
my heart over yours into the shade to cool.