Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
JPaiva Jan 2012
So let’s take a look at this story and I’ll tell you my theory.
In Another Country by Ernest Hemingway
You know, that dude you might of heard about back in the day.
Now, I’m not here to give you a plot summary
The purpose is to work your minds with an introductory.

Take a moment, and put yourself in the narrator’s shoes
Going to war and unable to refuse
You’re getting defeated, wounded in the knee
and taken to the hospital in a room full of machines.

He was able to make friends during his stay,
Three officers and a soldier with a handkerchief I must say
A kinship formed between him and the three officers,
So changed from the men they once were,
Sticking together was glorious when sharing the same experience
Especially when the outside world taunt and despises you
Saying quotes in their language once you pass through.
“Down with the officers!” that’s what they would chant.
What would you do, or perhaps grant?
A mock could only reveal a fight, but no you mustn’t, you can’t.
You’re trying to cure yourself mentally and physically
For the war has scarred you, and tortured you, literally.
You know there was always going to be war,
but you don’t want to go to it anymore.

Now, let’s move on to that discussion with the major,
formally known as a stager.
He asked one simple question to the narrator
"What will you do when the war is over, if it is over?"
Ha, never thought one would form a debater.
“I will go to the States,” the narrator straights.
Alarming the major that there must be someone he awaits.
“Are you married?” he replied, hoping for an answer he would side.
A reply that didn’t have the major agree
“No, but I hope to be.”
Now, I’m sure this is the part where you think the man has no heart
When he shouts that one’s a fool to want to marry
A man should never lose the one he marries.
But you see, he was speaking for himself
Trying to cope with his lost and tryna' fix the problem the narrator crossed.
The major’s wife has died from pneumonia,
A death that lasted from only a few days of being sick
The major was torn a part not wanted to look at another chick.
Thereafter, each time he returned to the hospital to use the machines,
he would just stare out the window,
rather than pay any attention to his treatments with all means

Now, I’m not one to know how that would feel
To go back to that scene, only a time machine can reveal.
But, one feels for the narrator instantly
when he uses the form of repetition blissfully.
Or when he feels distant from the officers,
like the first time meeting your long lost brothers.
They were presented with medals for acts of bravery
although he received his as an act of vagary.
For instance, playing a video game, noticing you’re just a newbie
While getting cheap achievements in halo or call of duty
He was injured before he could prove his courage
and lectured through the concept of marriage.

But I’m not here to give you the in depth
Let’s bring it over to Ashley, she has the breadth of the knowledge.
That will help you understand the reason for this course at this college.
Jan 2011 · 678
Young Inspirations!
JPaiva Jan 2011
Sorry,
This isn't a poem itself - though I would like to share to my fellow Hello Poetry poets!

I have created a blog to bring together all talents around the world!May it be poets, musicians, artists, photographers, etc - you name it.

If you want to submit any work please visit/follow:

www.younginspirations.tumblr.com

There's an e-mail address in the blog to submit your talent!

Show your friends / let's make this big!

Your Hello Poetry friend,
- Jessica Paiva
Jan 2011 · 1.6k
The Status Of Your People
JPaiva Jan 2011
Life endures in loosing and gaining,
backstabbers and supporters.
Whether you enjoy drama in your life and the connection with reporters,
the news you tell them will just be announced for entertaining -
The media all around you,
the friends you thought stood by you.

I’ve been through those obstacles,
the times from when people choose to leave.
When I needed someone most, to listen and not be posted in articles,
all I got were blank responses, not once showing that they believe.
The trust I need towards certain people are now gone,
and that just gives me one strength, to move on.

True friends.
It’s funny how the saying goes,
in time you really discover who your real friends are.
That being said - take a moment, and think;
are the people in your life, the ones you can truly keep?
People who won’t judge or go around talking behind your back?
Around you all you get are stares, now you will know who caused the act.

I want you to open your eyes and see the reality,
I won’t lie or torture you, it’s like one of your family.
You deserve someone who you can trust at anytime,
give or take within every situation, every time.
I believe in you, so I give you permission to converse,
I promise I won’t hurt you - the emotion of feeling your worse.
Sep 2010 · 797
Blinding Fist
JPaiva Sep 2010
Heart in my flesh beating rapidly,
brain in my mind constantly turning.
I close my eyes and for a brief moment
a sigh lets out, wanting to only hear
silence.
To ignore all punches that wounded my body.
A hand, life has been capable of creating,
such power, strength and reason.

Life is hard, we all know that.
It’s a given fact we all grow up and learn from.
But the ability of crashing confidence, self-belief,
is torturing our reason for life.
The stress that attaches with the package is outrages;
it shakes my muscles to pieces, the uncontrollable mind.

I welcome myself to a new world and I’m taking you with me.
It is a journey of struggles; not mine, not yours.
But, the existence of time.
I want to hold a fist, and defend myself.
To have reflex on every attack life flashes,
every swallow of terror will dry out.
We will stand tall, the worthless days are over.
I’m demanding, forcing; another punch to my cheek.
The hand – life has created, will form into a fist,
raising just above our eye level, stopping right in front of us.
How blind we were to see, a fist with a lifetime of
problems, stress, disbelief and struggles.
A breath to end all – bring it.
JPaiva Jul 2010
Is there really a meaning as to why
I’m here at this very moment,
The reason as to why I’m here in this place.
Is there a reason why I’m capable
of experiencing different emotions
And overcoming challenges?

Am I in a dream?
A dream where I’m
never really able to
wake-up from?
Am I submerged by my feelings
and incapable of
knowing beyond them?

Am I here for a reason?
Is there a hidden reason that I
Have yet to figure out?
Was I put in this world
to find the true
knowledge of the person
I am now or am I destined to be more?

Am I going to stay
in this very room
asking questions
where I’m unable to find
the true
answer to?
Am I going to wait
until I die
in order to rewind
my whole life back
and rejoice when I
finally figured it out?
But, won’t that be too late,
wouldn’t it be all over when
I’m dead?

Am I just going to question myself?
What is the meaning of life?
Philosophy 2009
Jul 2010 · 562
Insight On The Media
JPaiva Jul 2010
Turn on the television,
drive down a major street,
It's everywhere you look;
snaring you into the life of others.

Why should we pick up our pens,
our keyboards,
our cameras,
stating what you think is
and knowing what is false.

Why should we pick up the newspaper?
What good does it do?
When we always turn to gossip,
we're not learning anything new.

Why is this industry
making up stories;
Getting their business' running; yet,
making the lives of others miserable.
Jul 2010 · 876
In Your Command
JPaiva Jul 2010
I am in your control, in your command.

Trying to open these locked doors you hide me in.
I'm scared, alone and sore.
I take in your slaps like I'm your prisoner,
take in your screams like I'm the entertainment.
You spit at me like I'm dirt, tie me up like its funny.

My body wants to escape, but my mind is telling me not to.
I know you’ll get angry if I do.
It’ll trigger your urge to **** and have me suffer endlessly.
I can’t risk that; can I?

I open my eyes, finding myself in the corner of this empty room.
Four white walls, two doors, and a cold floor.
I see your shadow coming closer to the door in front of me.
Hearing you take out your keys, you turn the doorknob.

I am your prisoner.
Jul 2010 · 760
Gasping For Breath
JPaiva Jul 2010
I'm here,
just here alone,
laying on this very bed
wishing you were next to me.

Is it so crazy that I
feel your warmth, your arms
wrapped around me.
I smell your scent,
that ongoing cologne,
so unbearable.
Those eyes,
oh wow, those big brown eyes,
just looking down at me.

Is it sad to say that I already
miss you like crazy?
It's only been a few hours,
but all i can hear
are the ticking sounds of the clock
and your whispers.

The pleasures that run through
my very own soul, my body
when you express yourself.
My hands tremble, waiting,
just waiting to feel your skin again.
My lips waiting to be kissed.
Mind spinning like a rollercoaster.

Am I obsessed?
Going nuts? Crazy? Pathetic? Weird?
No.

I lay my head on my pillow, turning to my left,
a smile forced with my lips.
I'm staring at, holding onto, kissing,
what could have been you.
Jul 2010 · 1.5k
Till Death Do Us Part
JPaiva Jul 2010
Till death do us part,
those we vowed,
we both promised.

I stayed true to my words,
I loved you,
respected and cared for you,
I worshipped you.
Tore my heart out of my chest,
and gave it to you.
You were my life, my everything.

For you, as well, stayed true,
to those very vows, I wish you haven't said.
You lied, abused every word you 'promised.'
Tortured everyday,
kicked, punched, pushed everynight,
you yelled and insulted at every phonecall.

You stabbed me.
Right where my love for you grew,
my beating heart,
wounded - on my ****** hands.

That very line,
did endure it's title.
Till death do us part,
and so it was.
Jul 2010 · 488
Sonnet I – Departing Love
JPaiva Jul 2010
Sanctuary at its finest.
Locking us together, indulging in our love to grow,
such as the morning sunrise in the month of August
or the spark of a shooting star from its glow.

To the presence of us staying together,
from the love we have grasped into our bodies.
But once you have escaped away, I become the beggar,
running to you, chasing you, from each country, all cities.

You say you shall return to only me,
though those bright days can turn into frightening nights.
Afraid that there would be another, a better, oh who would it be,
a person that shall replace me, a love that will share in better daylights.

My heart sores from the wound of losing my only love,
I sit here under the moonlight for the return, an answer from above.
Jun 2010 · 676
Unspoken Words
JPaiva Jun 2010
Words can encounter the truth
or acknowledge the false.
They persuade the insanity,
to torture our minds and hearts.

The words you spoke, life you took away.
You did the wrong,
crippled for the soul, you should not win.

Life will not hold back,
understandably, you want your life,
that open, free, blissful life, don’t you?
The avoidance of that bitter darkness;
those three walls connecting with your nightmare.

Bars of steal, we all know where you should be.
But, the decisions hold only the pureness of speech,
such combined letters that travel from both you and us.
Who is to win?

A verdict to an immense shocked face,
lost from the acknowledged false.
We, the useless, are now just left here,
watching you smile your way through the world,
words gave you that life, but with one grudge.
Unspoken words.

They are all around you, every glare, and every shameful look.
You behold that for eternity.
I welcome you to a life of only misery,
punished to always hold that grudge.

One life taken away to a better heavenly life,
we smile to that thought.
R.I.P Jackie
May 2010 · 636
What Is Your Story?
JPaiva May 2010
It's a trap.
Is that all life has on us?
A form of happiness that will just be destroyed.
A piece of harmony that will crack.
You are here reading,
striving for a lesson, wanting inspiration.
You learn through the words,
each letter stating its part.
I can preach,
show you the ropes in life,
the experiences I came through;
just to have you nod your head and agree.

I'm tired of it,
tired of ranting on my pathetic life.
We are all guilty on this planet,
guilty to fall for that trap,
so why should I be the only one sharing?
We all have our stories,
the horror people drive us into,
the want and need of our temptations.

Do not hold back.
This shall be my only teaching,
Write and scream,
for your anger, your power
is much too dominant on this world.
Tell someone -
about that very trap you caved in.
You want to escape, don't we all,
the ones who fail are the ones who didn't try.
Don't be the loser, Fight Back.
Apr 2010 · 2.7k
The Great Gatsby; Love War
JPaiva Apr 2010
Sitting on this very wooden stool
with one light bulb over my head
I write to you dear love,
for your presence is still within
my mind and heart,
the thoughts of you have kept me alive
in this pointless war
Nature's fruits have burned and died
but the only flower I want to see returning
are the Daisies.

The trenches are cold and dark
And as many men have lost hope for life
I will not.
Because I refuse to die,
before I can see you once more
My dearest love,
when I return
our lives will be complete.
No need for gold or silver
as the wealth lies with our hearts
you are and will always be
my one and only love,
Daisy.

- Gatsby.
* Co-writer: Isaias Garcia
Apr 2010 · 899
Intimately Sexual
JPaiva Apr 2010
It's time, I think
I'm ready?
How do I know for sure?
Laying on this bed with
emotions flowing through my mind;
What if I'm not ready?
A long breath fills up my
mouth as I realized what I
wanted to do.
"Let's do it." I said.

Did I just say that out loud?
I started to tremble,
scared of the pain, the pleasure,
the thought of it.
I started to feel his touch,
as he went straight to it.
Kissing me softly, I feel his
warmth, tingling my senses.
What is this feeling?
Why am I acting up?
Still scared but not wanting
it to stop.

The slow, soft feeling
started to increase rapidly,
as I felt his kiss shifting
all over my body.
Lick, the feeling of licking,
excited me.
It started to sting my body
marking its place
as I felt the fading
of the mist it left on
my smooth skin.
I lay there taking in the pleasures
he fulfilled,
the warmth of his sweet lips.

What is happening?
I started to breathe with
such force as he started
to feel the mist with
his fingers.
Slowly structuring my body
with his hand, his touch.
I felt imprisoned by his touch
and as I took in his delicious scent,
I was paralyzed once more.
A prisoner of my own heart
I let him take over me,
caressing me and pleasuring me
in ways that I never thought possible.

My heart, now beating out of my chest
I knew what was next or so i thought;
I tried to prepare myself mentally
taking deep breaths, somewhat panting.
Panting as i close my eyes,
squeezing it, as questions flowed
in my mind.
What will it feel like?
How will i react..
I already couldnt control myself,
feeling weak all over,
as he had me under his spell,
under his control.
What is happening?

There was no turning back now
I had already dug myself in way too deep;
I decided i'd take control,
as our lips danced our positions changed
I was the one on top now.
I had the power and as his eyes rolled back
I knew that it was satisfying.
A triumph of song started to
come through our voices,
louder and louder it gradually
formed.
Reacting in a way i never thought
I would be able to do.
The reflexes i had,
resulted in a new person in me.
Ssassy and passionate it indeed was.
Singing through the movement of
the wind.

I felt as though our hearts were now beating as one,
our souls connected through this intimate action
it was perfect, beautiful and amazing beyond words
I didn't want it to end, we were now in our own world
nothing else mattered, it was just me and him
two bodies, two hearts, intwined together to fuse
the perfect passion, the perfect love.
A love forming into an excitement
a feeling of pressure, and great pleasure
it yanked me out of my mind
becoming loose and feeling something,
something weird, something I've never felt before
faster, we moved, the wind blowing through
the flow.
What was entering my system, what has my body
engaged in creating.

With no control my body started asking
for more, more pleasure,
as it once more increased its speed.
our songs turning into screams now,
as the pressure was getting too much.
Too much for both of us, too much
to handle in one gesture.
"I think it's coming." he said
coming!? what's coming?
I started to panic,
what am i supposed to do?
But still, my body didnt want to stop,
it was ready for it,
but my mind was still frightened.
He started to concentrate on the movement,
pulling my body onto his, forcing me,
exciting me.

He started to growl, realizing
that it was coming.
I prepared myself as he pulled me
once more, with great pressure,
it got me to a surprise, as he held me tight
having the flow gradually separating in me.
We collapsed, side by side, breathing hard
in one sound.

We were both breathless but satisfied.
We lay there, without a single word leaving our lips
we knew that it was the beginning of forever
as we lay there, eternity seemed to pass over us
nestling my head into his neck
I breathed in his scent once more
and whispered soft words into his ear
this was it, he was the one
and then we fell asleep, embraced in eachothers arms.
*Co-writer: Rosa Lin.
JPaiva Apr 2010
Isn't it amazing?
Me and you, side by side,
hand in hand,
eyes locked to eachother,
hearts beating in one rhythm.
You taught me how to love,
to admire someone greatly.
Taught me how to crave
and miss someone deeply.
You gave me a reason to
give my heart out to, well,
you... but look at us now.
What seemed to be a perfect
life, is now a nightmare.

You shattered my heart into pieces,
having my tears fall from my
face like a shimmering waterfall.
"He's not worth your tears"
That's what I hear constantly;
but you don't understand, they
certainly will never understand the
emotions we have shared together,
emotions I had for you.

A Break-Up
I now understand the meaning
to that very word.
It takes away your mind,
evaporating away those content,
incredible memories.
Nothing matters anymore, no good
will occur; with all these memories
of you surrounding me, I can't
bare to survive like this.
Don't you see that
my heart is bleeding for you,
don't you care?

My hands are constantly trembling,
wanting to hold you once more;
just feeling your flesh on my fingers.
But that won't ever happen again,
I should have seen it from the beginning.
Your perfect self was too good
to be true, I was falling for a lie.
You lied that you cared about me,
that you loved me so much.
I see it now, you're another "guy",
one just out there to play with
our minds, our emotions.
How could you do that to me?

You shot my heart,
and now I'm here trying to
take out the bullet you sinked
in me; the pain it causes
is unbareable, but I'm strong.
I thought you were the one,
the perfect one in my dreams,
wow was I ever wrong.

And here it goes, this is the end,
thank-you for never caring,
for never really loving me.
Thank-you for making me see
the person you really are;
cold-hearted, weak.
I will never be the person
I once was because of you;
this bullet is still *******
into my heart like a tattoo,
beating, living, but still in pain.
Apr 2010 · 416
Poetry Is
JPaiva Apr 2010
Giving someone the chance to
enter your soul and for a
brief moment understand exactly
what you're feeling as well as
what you're experiencing.

Being able to open up to
all the personal drama one encounters,
no matter how easy or hard
it might be, you are in charge.
In charge of your feelings, your life
and what you write down.

It reminds me of those
children diaries which we
all once had, but this time
we are not afraid.
Not afraid to express ourselves
through all the vulnerable words
we write on paper.
Not afraid that someone will
find it and perhaps read it, no
This time it is meant to be read,
meant to be heard and mostly
meant for someone to think about
what is being said.
It is meant to understand what
is being said through the mind,
the eyes, but mostly with
ones heart.

The only way to open up,
with the will of being able
to say the words you might
not be able to say.
Feel the feelings you are
unable to feel.
And hear the responses
you might not want to hear.

Be the voice of many.
Poetry is a diary without a lock.
Apr 2010 · 493
First Words
JPaiva Apr 2010
Wind gushing through my window,
light flickering in the presence
of the walls, and yet a blank mind.

Why is it that nothing comes to me,
even in this most wanting need.
I thrive myself to continue,
where I left off, my passion,
the stages of life through words.

I set my words to demonstrate
stories, love, worries, depression and suffering.
Now, I have a new mission,
to utter my first words to you.
No voice, no body, no expressions or movements,
just words, true words, trying to get you to
know who I am through what makes me glimmer.

No direct conversation, it’s me, this pen and paper,
and well; the stories of you.
Yes, I hear stories, comments
a strong and loving daughter, mother, wife and sister.
My writing is what truly defines my personality,
but don’t get me wrong, we will meet.

The world, is full of surprises
if we’re ready or not,
it still hits us hard or smooth.
It is why we were placed here, to
overcome every surprise we encounter;
keeping our loved ones closer when times
are tough, even when yet so far away.

But that’s not what I learned,
we were formed to this life, this century
to live it in good will.

What is a good life?

That’s something you have to
tell yourself. But, I’m not
only here showing you that
I’m someone who understands and
cares – I know how it feels to
be scared and worried.
Philosophy can also do that
to you.

Yet, no, I’m here to show you who
I am, who I became to be
because of, your brother and my past.
I share to you, my thoughts
of the bad times and good.

There are people surrounding you,
many contains, nothing tangible,
but gushing in that very wind through
that cold window.
I’m here, in laughter, sadness,
hope, and anxiety.
Anxious to meet you, to crack smiles,
living that good life
with no regrets, no worries.

Free verse, poetry, I
heard you’re not a fan.
Let’s change that, as corny
as it might feel to read
and engage in thought, you
may realize many things through
each poem written.
It invites you to an open
diary, invites you to enter
opening your mind and understanding
each verse, each word being placed.
I welcome you to my world,
the true life of a poet.
Apr 2010 · 878
Don't Leave Me Love
JPaiva Apr 2010
Don't leave me love, not now, not ever,
not here in this empty space on this bed.
Not even when watching the sunset in a
cold, misty raining night.

Don't have the silhouette of your precious body
dissolve as I open my eyes.
Or let your shadow leave me
in this dark and bitter alleyway.

I feel you breathing on my face,
but I know it's just my imagination.
For one time love, I plead, don't leave me,
stay,
lay next to me watching the stars
and moon sparkle above us.

My dearest, hold my hand as we walk
through all obstacles and adventures
this scary, torturing life has to offer.

You are my truth, revealing the
insanity of my soul and the beating
of my heart I give to you.

Don't leave me love, not now, not ever.
Apr 2010 · 943
Death And Marriage
JPaiva Apr 2010
Isn't it time,
to stand up for what's right.
Do the right thing.
and for once defend myself?
Am I just going to sit here,
listening to the screaming,
the swearing, the nonsense
coming from the other room?
A closed door, I sit here,
a pillow on my face, crying for
a different life.

I lost myself,
How could I do it again,
No one will ever love her like I do,
But the fear in her eyes…
I am sick,
But when I say I’m sorry and she forgives me.
Maybe it’s alright.
It’s just when I’m drunk,
I’ll stop this time.

Could I forgive him once more?
Am I able to call a drunk my soulmate?
My heart breaks everytime I undress myself.
A scar here, a bruise there, a love... gone?
Can't he see his drinking is
tearing us apart, and above all,
abusing my heart in all ways.
I'm scared.
Scared to look into his eyes.
Frightened to argue with him.
What should I do?

I see her pain,
That’s what makes me drink,
It’s what makes me angry,
I cause this me,
There is no one else to blame,
Except when I’m woozy,
Then it’s her,
It’s the woman’s fault were poor,
That I’m forced to spend all my money on alcohol,
Why she’s bruised? Better than she deserves.
I just… hope I don’t go too far.

If only my current regret,
was something different, to be able to confront.
A regret of him, or a regret of his drinking.
How can I make this relationship work?
When talking leads to screaming,
pouring leads to punching, and
an 'I'm sorry' means nothing at all.
I forgive him, for maybe a change of heart.
Maybe if he sees my wounded soul,
he'll change.
It'll be a dream come true.

When no ones there,
And I’m all alone.
I cry myself to sleep,
In my pathetic little existence,
I am king,
But at who’s expense,
The tax payer is me.
Even if she’s got the money.

Do I make him happy?
He's miserable everyday.
I do everything for him, I even allow myself
to be his very own punchbag.
At what cost?
For his beloved love, that's all I want.
But, if he's not going to provide,
I just have to stand up for myself.
Put in a good word, maybe then,
he'll treat me better.

I can hear her thoughts now.
She’s plotting against me.
The she devil, she’s always against me!
I can’t stand her presence,
It’s foul to the cell,
But I cant be without her either.
When I see her tears,
Even though I know it’s a façade,
I think angel and love and desire above.
Still a conspiracy is a conspiracy,
And its time for me, to do what I do.

No, my mind is going crazy for him.
I must stop, must stop him now.
I'm allowing him to spit on me.
Such shame brought to my name.
I must be crazy, to think that he will change.
He hasn't all this time, and never will.
It's said and done.
This must be a past.
My heart and body needs healing.
But I mustn't see him, I have to leave.
For his eyes drags me to his spell.
I can't take this much longer.

And then it was a dark and dreary day,
When I was fired once again,
Being a drunkard they said,
Well F them.
I came home shaggy, tired and distraught,
These bills just weren’t going to get done.
Life was over anywhere.
But, there was that good old reliable beer,
And I had one, and then more.
When she came home from her mothers,
The house was dark and quiet.
She never knew what hit her,
Thought you wouldn’t have know by her screams and tears.
The blood was the worst,
It got everywhere.
**Written in Collaboration by J. Paiva and Justin Unanue
Apr 2010 · 549
Confessions
JPaiva Apr 2010
Why are you crawling back?

We were once together,
once a very happy couple,
sharing in laughter, sadness and anger.
You destroyed that saying
that it's just not working out;
making me feel alone, depressed, shattered.

All the memories of you stayed
in my mind for a while,
you surely don't understand.
It was once a goodbye e-mail from you,
and you were out of my life, for good.

Maybe that was for the best?
You didn't deserve me, and
I didn't deserve you, period.
Right?

One year later, when I have finally
forgotten about you,
forgotten about us, our memories;
here you are, on my computer screen,
flashing an orange light, the blinking
making it hard to ignore - wanting to see what you typed.

'Ola'

One year later, and you want to say
hello to me? Are you trying to torture me?
Putting my heart in more pain from when you left.

'I feel bad, ' that's what you replied,
reminding you about what you have done.

Bad? you have no idea.
Why are you coming back to me?
Are you trying to make me remember you?
Remember when we were together?
Hard to admit but it's happening,
the past memories are coming clearer
everytime you say,
'Remember when..'
I do remember, my heart aches everytime.

Mind spinning,
but i can't help but smile.
They were great times, really,
but why are you telling me this now?
When life happens to be
fitting into place, you come crawling back.

You just won't dissappear for good, won't you?
But, why;
why are you messing with
my head, my heart, and my emotions.

Why are you crawling back?
Apr 2010 · 445
11:12
JPaiva Apr 2010
Birds singing to one another,
wind gushing through the wilderness,
sun shining upon us
and life getting miserable each day.

Through all the beauty life has encountered,
we yet, have still closed our minds and hearts
to the ones we love, the ones we hate
and mostly, to the world; making life horrible.
We are one being, with millions of emotions

Ever been through times, when nothing seems right?
Times when you feel like your mind and heart
has just been shattered in pieces,
wondering what the reason might be.

I have, for quite sometime
and still have I not yet figured out
the reason as to why
I'm stuck in this other world
constantly abusing myself in ways that don't
make any sense.

My mind is one of its own nature
it drifts off and imagines many
messed up ****, through love,
freedom, lost, death and heartbreaks.

Possibly this whole reason is to
erase that from my mind,
doing something I gained to enjoy
and facing with the consequences.

Maybe its the thought of liking someone
yet, too scared to believe in it;
or maybe it's all the pressure
I put onto myself
and realizing that my presence
won't be useful to
learn, grow, adapt and love.

I hate bottling everything in me,
I hate feeling every emotion at once,
I hate how I have so many incredible
people in my life,
I hate these struggles,
these certain random heart pains I
have to adjust.

I've learned that my life has
two worlds, two 'types' of people
and one body.

— The End —