Thoughts are fireflies
Burning in the darkness
Glowing most in our silence
We try to catch them
But there are always more
Thoughts are fireflies
They brighten children’s eyes
Bouncing about
in the captive jar of their minds
Thoughts are fireflies
Buzzing all night,
till we drift
At last
To sleep

"takes your breath away"

is a figure of speech

for.

when.

something is.....         beautiful

but i'm not sure.........               it's so good this time

to think without clarity
(a fuzziness inside)
to speak without correct words
(broken judgement)
to hurt without blood
(a head full of screaming)

washed up intelligence
equals
splintering headspace

is it shame or terror,
making it hard to see straight

to be perfect- without fail
and flawless- without fault

so the "shaping" starts

to be under pressure
and
bent backwards by error

squeezed in a box

by the creation
of
your own two hands

cut up and bound

as we shave off our skin
to fit the box
we are told, we belong in

but humans don't fit in boxes

so all that remains
of the shaved up human
(trying desperately to fit in a box)

is nothing- but blood and flesh
is all things- but whole

a window left open
a soul feeling light
my heart-
expanding again
light-
cleansing me

you wash all in color
and
i cannot imagine
wanting
any other

there is only you.
for me.

When you need to he(a)r
"I love you"
All I want to do is tell you.       (again. and. again.)

I will kiss the words back into you
A(l)ong every scar on your body
Till you understand my love through and through

I will speak it every day,
When you're crying or in pain
I'll take your hand and those three (w)ords-
I will again say

I will write it on paper,
p(a)rchment, napkins, and sticky notes.
All throughout your world-
Just so-
you get reminders that:
                                                  I Love You

and maybe

if i'm luck(y)

and i play my cards right

i'll keep seeing your (s)pecial sort of smile-
every once.
                        in a while.

I don't think I'd notice
the pain in my chest
even if
there was a hole through my breast

a knife
or a bullet
stuck in my side
would be easier still to hide

ignoring my anxiety
building in my head.
a fountain.
water.
drowning............................

no
not.
no­.
ok.
i guess-
here we go again.

quickplugtheholes        donthavetimetoskipaline       bottlethatshitup
get
me
out

no
no

stopped
the leaks in the side of my brain are plugged

I'm Okay.....

till i drop from blood loss. or explode. the rising waters in my head. pounding against my temples. then. i guess. i'll have to confront that ***** who stares me back in the mirror.