Wilting petals of my plants,
Show me how you do.
Barely hanging on to life,
I exist just as you.

Today i found that wells aren't eyes.
Empty eyes sting.

I feel within me an indescribable warmth.
It is the first kiss; the first love.
The first hello and the last goodbye.
The butterflies that flutterd for days.
The indescribable longing for more.

I feel within me her.
She was my first girl; my first hug.
The emodiement of perfection.
The butterflies that flutterd for days.
The one that stole my heart.

With eternal sentiment i sent you a note. "Dear lover, you have my soul." Yet as i sit waiting for response, i relize i wrote the wrong girl.

A slaughter house of emotions keeps my mind busy as this 145 pound meat bag just keeps getting heavier and heavier. I've begin to wonder if this is how it was always ment to be; trapped in my own thoughts. After all, not everyone gets to be rich.

Lets try something new.
I don't think i'll right about you.
Instead of red, the color of dead,
I think i'll write about blue.

See i have always preferred blue.
It doesn't seem so, but it is quite true.
Drugs and ***** represent the shades of blues,
But this is nothing new.

I could sit and cry,
I could try to die.
I could wallow in pitty,
And forget my pride.

Or i could live my life,
Even if i'm high.
Care free, carefully,
Experiencing new tragities.

It's hard to understand how i'm feeling. It's as if i'm the first person to ever be paralyzed from the neck down. Around me are people who keep telling me "just get up" or "go take out the trash" then getting angry when they can't understand why. All my friends think i must just hate them, because i never go out and do anything with them. Not because i don't want to, but because i can't.

It's as if i'm drowning in a sea, surrounded by mermaids, who don't understand why i can't "just breathe." These mermaids refuse to let me go back on shore to the other people like me, the people who understand, saying i'll ruin my life if i go back on land.

It's as if depression is viewed not as a condition but as an excuse.