So, my hearts listening...
What is it you once said?
To the rhythm of the night sky glistening.
You had me in a gaze,
A lost boy with no haze...
A pep in my step as I made it through the days.
But, wait... Where did it go?
Pulled the viel back and now lies only show.
See, I'm an Angel and my words take flight.
I just put the music on and drift away every night.
Fly to you, fly to me...
Lost in a dream of what love could be.
Plenty of fish, so call me Ahab.
I got my pole and my box of tackle,
But everytime I speak your name it's like a shackle.
Pulling me down, so I can drown.
I like the pain... Keeps me humble.
Sit back and listen to rain and watch the weed tumble.
I don't expect to hear a sorry or receive a call...
Truth is, you should be happy, well, Hell... Shouldn't we all?

It's worn, but legible.

No longer calmed,
My head keeps spinning.
A gun with no safety,
A blade with no hilt...

Tired of having to prove myself.
To whom? You?
No, to me... My worst enemy.

This isn't good enough,
That's never right.
Sometimes I want to scream!
And my tears... They never put up a fight.

The river of amnesia flows,
Passed the gums and down it goes.
Temporary relief from a pain so deep.
Like a thousand knives,
Beneath my skin, they seep.

Staring into the dirt,
My eyes lose focus...
All the tiny ants become clear.
This is what they do, year after year.

I'm apart of this cycle,
Nature and I.
And after this,
In an eternal Hell...
I'm sure I'll fry.

But... Not all is lost.
For, I lay on a throne of grass...
Little to no cost!

The only price I paid...
Was putting my feet on the ground,
And putting up with this... Joyful day.

What are they saying to me? Over and over again...

You're just a tear in my eye,
The toss in my sleep,
You're the insect that bites,
Sucks the blood out of me.

The letter I wrote,
But you did not receive.
The pain in my chest,
That tears the heart out of me.

I gave you my all,
Now I can see...
That sinister smile as I begged and I plead.

But today's a new day
As I stand tall.
The sun in my face and my back on the wall.

I'll survive this,
That much I know...
But when those lonely nights come,
I'm sure it'll show...

You're just a tear in my eye,
The toss in my sleep.
You're the insect that bites,
Sucks the blood out of me...

Joshua Hobbs Jun 5

Death is an inevitability.
She has no preference,
Has no care.

She'll come for you,
Just as she'll come for me.
But, Dying is easy.

It's when you have nothing.
And finally find something.
When you realise living is hard.

Watch them leave,
Slowly fade into someone else.

But you can't end it.
Because you linger onto hope.
You're human.
Hope that she'll come for you,
Before Death.

Now, you're just an existence.
No longer living.
Faces in a crowd mash together.
Each morning you wonder why.
Why it is you didn't die.

But, dying is easy.
It's living that's hard.

Having nothing,

I'm just an existence at this point.
Joshua Hobbs May 15

One foot in front of the other
I walk alone, not with another.
Its a feeling I've preferred for awhile,
Ever since I last seen you smile.

It still trips me out to this day.
What was that saying we used to say?
"Forever and Always."

I was my worst enemy, you know?
Even if I tried to out on a strong show.
"She's fake. There's plenty of girls here."
That's what they said every day of the year.

"Not like her, there's not..."
To meet an Angel... Who would of thought?

Ive tried to accept that you might be gone.
Ive tried to accept that... You've moved on.

Did I hurt you?
When I met you... Was it a nightmare come true?
Or was it a dream like mine?
The one we shared at one point in time.

I still smile when I look at your photo.
"I did it for her, but no one has to know though."

I want you to be happy.
Even if it kills me.
I want you to be happy.

I love you.
Joshua Hobbs May 14

In what I would describe as a melancholic comedy, I find that questioning my existence helps briefly ease the pain.

The journey I took. The walk through Hell, phasing through each circle, was an experience one could only respond with "why?"

My answer, simply enough, would be "Love."

...Could it be anything else?

I made you a promise, with a heavy heart that suffered along side you.
Over 3 thousand miles away, can you believe it? A boy with not a penny to his name... He'd make the trip for a Queen to be.

And after all the trials, I found you. I was so overtaken by happiness, that I lost sight of the man I was supposed to be. I rushed the kiss, I rushed everything... Of course, this drove you away and into the arms of another.

Now, I sit alone.
...3 Thousand miles away.

I'm seeking help, but I know the only solace I'll get...
Is when I cock the bottle back, and scatter shame across my walls, painting them with memories of what once was and forever will be...

A boy with not a penny to his name...
The journey for a special person...
I love you. I really do and hope that you have found yourself and perhaps happiness.

Joshua Hobbs May 12

Devoid of once held
Forced steps now taken
A setting Sun yearned for
Lies fed the hunger
Death shall set me free

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