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She laughs too hard 
She laughs too much 
But she's waiting for death 
And lives to die another day 

She believed in faeries 
And rainbows
Glitter made everything glow 
And laughing made everything seem okay

She forgets too less
And pretends too hard 
So she runs as fast as she can 
From the past 

Until her lungs burn 
Then places her hands on her chest
To feel her heart thump
Like the fear of giving up
We tend to not appreciate it,
To ignore the calls of our winged friends,
To scorn the helpful and forgiving earth that holds the seeds of time,
To frown at the kind and sometimes harsh tears of the land,
To taint the once pristine surface with deception and broken promises.

As I sit, I feel the mournful wind as it carries the dry dead leaves to forbidden places.
I see the clouds frown and growl, their pallors darkening with bottled up anger , fuming , waiting, for an unforgiving outburst.
I feel a slight chill in the air , foreseeing a cold and ruthless near future.
Finally ,our winged companions flee, leaving us stranded in our selfishness.

Now I sit , and wait
Waiting for the sky to open with a smile of vengeance , to release upon us our well deserved undoing.

I raise my arms prepared for the blow , my last stand, but it doesn't come.
All that anger , all that sadness went as swiftly as it came, gone with the wind.
And out comes the sun , with its redeeming and forgiving light, Illuminating each surface , filling each recipient with a sense of regret ,  guilt
But that too becomes unimportant as we gather our tools of pain, prepared for another sunny day of betraying the forgiving nature as we swing , chop , throw away, deceive and manipulate like the cruel beings we've now become
 Nov 2014 Joseph Childress
svdgrl
I think I am
falling in love
with myself
again.
We are all so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Be thankful for yourself.
An awesome book
a sumptuous chair
plump cushions
silence
my perfect
Sunday afternoon
You were addicted to cigarettes
And you talked about how bad it was
How addictions were bad for you,

But soon, I became addicted to you
And you were right,

Addictions are bad for you.
They just end up hurting you

A.K.
Ever felt

Like drowning

Like it was easier
Than pursuing

Like loving
Was harder
Than living
When I feel lonely, I feel as if
I am in a world all by myself.
Everything I do is always a failure.
But when I accomplish things sometimes
I feel a lot better, because it is me
Doing the work and nobody else.

I have good days, and I have bad days.
But when the bad days out weigh
The good days, I feel that I cannot go on.
When the good days out weigh the
Bad days, I will be able to hold
My chin up high and say,
"I have not failed."

I am in this world, too.
I have a voice in this world.
I will be able to go a lot
Further than what people give
me credit for.
I really do not have any hopes or dreams.
I am just going with the flow of what is
About to happen next.

I want to feel that people care
And that I can to anything.
Even when I have a tough time,
I feel stuck, because I think
It is part of my illness and
part of the economy.
I want to be set free.
I want to be able to make
Enough money so that I will not
Be a prisoner of my own mind.
340

Is Bliss then, such Abyss,
I must not put my foot amiss
For fear I spoil my shoe?

I’d rather suit my foot
Than save my Boot—
For yet to buy another Pair
Is possible,
At any store—

But Bliss, is sold just once.
The Patent lost
None buy it any more—
Say, Foot, decide the point—
The Lady cross, or not?
Verdict for Boot!
She does not lose well
will not forget
It will haunt Her
avorite Pencil
Tip Softened
Just So...
A Paw pushed it
Somewhere to a Secret Spot
Out of Vision
Her Reach
A Peice of Paper
Elusive, Yet there...
Lodged Deep Amidst
A Stack
of Most Important Things

She does not Lose Well...

Not in terms of Games or Competition..
But the things in Her Life
That Envelop Her World.
Tough, Scrappy,
Beautiful
Oh-So Tender
Holding all things Dear
Close to Her Heart

Loss is a Place of 
Deepest Contemplation
Her Memories
Are Alive
Vibrant..
Stay with Her
Immense Joy
Her Deep Well of Sadness
A Cachet of Stories
Reverberate
Expanding Outward
like Ripples in a Pond.

She does not Lose Well

The Creatures and People
That are Immersed
In Her Life
Even One Pulled Out
Leaves
Like a Building Block
A Tear
A Gap
A Hole in Her life

She does Not Forget
Or Minimize the
Pertinance of
Freindship
Love
A Moment that has
Touched Her Heart

When it is Time for
The Loss
The Breaking of Her Heart
Can be Felt through
Time
Space
Filled with Divine Wisdom
She is Able to See
All Aspects at Once.

The Purpose
The Moment
Becomes Filled
With Rainbows of Light
She will Bathe in that Beam...
Helps Guide Them Home
Knows Intuitively

She Trusts in the Divine
Finding There Solice
Amidst the Flutterings 
of
Her Tender, Broken Heart.
Grief Shrouds Her
A Mystical Shawl
A Veil that Holds her Dearly
till the Pain
Becomes at Least Bearable..

Then She will
Begin
To Tell Her Stories
Once Again.

Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Free Verse
My first Poem
Written in responce and deep respect to an Amazing Friend/Poet's Vigil. in her Mothers passing
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