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Saw you today
first time in months
you hurried by
got something to hide
like when I walked in on you
sticking your knee to another woman's
like glue
ringless married man
you didn't have a clue
I stood there
the energy between the two
of you could be felt
And suddenly you were aware
so you stood up like a mole
looking out of its hole
it's what I need
not what I want
like when I heard other women
on a guy's answering machine
Right near your office
she's been installed
you're no longer bald
short brown hairs now cover
half your head
like a newly sprouted lawn
trying to impress?
I think you've already caught,
your catch has been bought
I can't compete
I sensed this last year
from her in e-mails to you
"oh you're so funny"
"oh, that was so great"
must of been an exciting meeting
for you to get such a wet greeting
Wish I didn't care
Just forget him
they say
I guess today
is supposed to be the day
Last year, you were gracious
We sat attentively listening to your endless commentary
on the making of coffee and watched carefully as you used your two hundred dollar
coffee machine and grinder to munch up cooked beans and
make them into brown slightly oily bean juice
and so long as we were sufficiently impressed, we could partake.

This year, you gossip behind the scenes
approach people about what to do about me
drinking your coffee creamer, which is also special
and you stare at me with a look that seems to want
me to make your world flourish and grow and the sun to shine
on you every day and to renew your life with my heartfelt amazement
at your being
like a mother at her newborn child

And I am only trying to survive, and you have plenty of coffee creamer
so I can't even make it up to you, and I do not share your worry
that someday, you might open up the now crowded fridge and find nothing
I do not understand this kind of devastation
It seems petty and silly to someone like me who has woken up
to the blood and guts and body meat scattered around
her own life and had to scramble and fear and survive somehow

So when confronted, there's nothing I can do
but apologize, and I dissapoint again by not sharing things in common with you
and this angers you and you behave like an ignored child because I'm supposed
to share your world and interest and if not at least fake it because
that's what you need and I have the body of a mother
who is to give to the world who needs and needs
and that is supposed to be my job, my vocation
and my only wish in life

So I make my own bean juice and it's foul and rancid but I don't care
because the truth is, I never cared about your coffee
like a lover who is jaded and has given up, I was only faking it
A few weeks ago, I could feel
Now there's no time
My grief is just a problem to be flicked away
like fuzz on a clean work table
out of place

Who cares about your humanity at work?
Work as an end in itself
As proof of being
When I slow it down I see strange things
Confusion that is never clarified
Wanderers through the daylight responding
to fantasies
Take a moment and breathe
Feel that you already are

There are many things to do
Not much time to be
How did it get this way?
Facetime Facebook happy meetings
feigning enthusiasm for strangers who
are only curiousities
who I don't know and yet spend hours a day with

How did we get this way?
We all have our lives, tucked away, unimportant
As we plow through what is thought of as worthwhile

And I feel like a hamster on a treadmill
Running ever faster
Returning again and again for more
of nowhere
All our eyes politely averted, twitching around we inspect each other
Women's locker room, women's body

Endless variations but I'm always struck
by our vulnerability
Our body carries us, our consciousness
but is clearly designed for the use of another
Nothing much to protect it
Endlessly prepared for the act of making another
Soft and swinging, nauseatingly available

And I understand
how for centuries we have been merely chattel
with great potentials
because our body is so overwhelming
so obviously important
for survival and therefore valuable and coveted
and our own will
so easily suppressed
by a chance encounter
desired or not

Bleeding every month on it's own timeline
never very strong
An agenda of it's own
that easily co-operates with an enemy
A walking science experiment

And yet
It is ours
We put up with it
it belongs to us

If we can protect it
We can do as we like
You paint your love
On my arms with tender
Hesitant fingers
And question
Beg for something more
With darkness of your eyes
Gently caress my heart
With bittersweet apologies
Promise that you wish
You’d never hurt me
I try so hard to stay
Away from your poison
But like always
You pull me into you
I’m fragile
Not like glass but like
A flower
Dying, petals falling off
Wilting
Your hands too harsh
To hold the dust I’ve become
But I never could resist you
So I break
And I’ll keep breaking for you
Heart shattered
Soul split
I’ll find peace in pieces
Sorry your flowers are late

I purchased them each one and the color was representing the many individual friends a delightful blue
Iris was no other than S.P. when dark shadows gather as they sometimes do she is the bluing of
Beautiful contrast this rich blue spreads from point of origin to the eye engulfing all visible ranges a
Small but great blue lifts the very shadows up until the sun vanquishes them by golden light then the red
Hues embolden of richness many times it is spent but never squandered and its riches never diminish or
Disappear in friendships ever rewarding garment he endures R.P. Violet this friend this light was
Adorned in grave clothes to join her loved ones of all generations but her influence warmth and the
Kindness that cannot die lingers it wafts across fields it passes through airy open window you smile
Unknowingly because she is by your side and not ever more so than your birthday precious one her
Initials are N.V. yellow so rich it blushes the wind this shear fabric so light it waves as pure silk you were
Given this gift early in life its folds hold so much treasured moments grasses trees houses playful side
Walks a stream of memories that bind you in the same vase others have beheld your combined beauty
Of thought and action I.M… The green of a soldier is enjoined by the mist it drifts it has patterns truth
And faith walks within this creature that has stature her face calls the night bugler all is dispensed
Within her voice is the kindest authority to all duty is understood in its deepest meaning G.H.E. then we
Come to multicolored piece of finest art true this grandness walks by your side and more so in your
Heart vestures sown with silver in glowing gold if an ever the hair turn to silver the cold black of youth
Will tower into all sunsets and grand children will always bring rays of joy and laughter happy belated
birthday Roberta
Eve Calling
Variation on Eve Thinking

I hear him thinking
Trying to wrap his tongue
Around me
Searching deep
For me
Attempting to call
To me.

I’ll place this gift over him,
Crawl through the blades of grass
And breathe myself inside

So maybe then he will hear me
Call to him
From the missing piece
I own.
I’ll kiss my name onto his lips

And use my tongue to scribble
Language onto his.
We met on the crosswalk
and headed for the shelters.

We stood opposite of one another
waiting for the bus to
take us away from each other.
That's friends-
                         In the city.
I tried writing an imagist poem. It just didn't work.
Death told her
           her life should end
and he was her friend

Calmly, she stole my gun
     she walked outside in the sun
pulled the trigger, set the mood
barrel to her head to conclude

I saw her head come undone
,,, Reached down, for my gun
Eyed the chunks in her hair
Now to my head |
                               |I draw a rose there.
Of gunslingers
A generation of watching movies,
                      of standing still
                          studying film.
Staring still images into dust,
              appreciating what they could have seen
                  themselves.
What class of people
          are those who would sit,
                 couch-stricken?
Suddenly they are risen - - socially-
                  Because they think.
A generation of praising emotions
        over hard work
                          and sweat.
         Why do we not value
                   the lifestyle
              of the living stone?
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