It slips into my veins
Like a hit of ******
Spreading warmth through my body
As feelings of ecstasy and euphoria
Roll up my back
Stopping to kiss my neck
Making the night velvet
And its brush so soft
As it leave a trail of fireflies
And pleasing memories on my lips and eyes
But come morning wake
It’s all a regretful haze
As I fall into the desert and dry
Blinking away the searing white sun.
The thin ache
The coming down
So scared to really feel
So scared to not feel anything at all.

There was this moment...
back at apartment 4
when i was ******* myself.

I was thin
and beautiful
and my ****** was unprecedented
and the light was golden...

And my heart left you.

Because it knew
that though you could see this beauty
I was seeing at the moment...

I knew you did not know
what to do with it.
You were like a baby
with a small pet.

You just did not know
that you were crushing it.

She was brown of eye and red in the hair.
She had hate in her heart,
But didn't know from where.
To her the sky was pink
And the trees were blue,
Lovers were demons,
And fear was all that was true.

she was no longer desperate
for just anyone to love her
she could no longer accept almost
It had to be him
or something way better

Problem was
she could not imagine anything better
How could anyone awaken her
the way his soul had

Not to say it wasn't out there
but now she would have to be one of those lonely people
that realized something special
something that was a once in a lifetime
and could not hold on to it
So they sit there waiting
with fingers crossed
that this had not been
that once in a life time thing

But we all know that it is...

And then one day I just loved you
I looked at you and it all came together
I saw us
as old people
having made it through so many trials but still holding on
It was the first time I had ever looked at a man
and saw the future version of him
all old
hairy
wrinkly
and fat
and LOVED him
I knew this old man had hurt me
probably had an affair or two
but I still loved him
I knew that we had suffered major grief
maybe there was a child lost
but I still loved him
We had survived babies
mortgages
and putting kids through college
We probably both had times
where we were so distant from each other
that hope was momentarily lost
but I still loved him
I saw this old man and all his imperfections
and me
old with all my imperfections
and I still loved us
And that is love
To know that this person will deeply hurt you
and you will deeply hurt them
and you see yourself loving them through it all
Even after you get bored with the ***
and you or they get fat
lose hair
or manufacture an abundance of nose hair
you still want them at your side
through thick and thin
That is love.

I am not impressed by money
or material things
or a man who is impressed by either

Can you hunt?
Can you grow?
are you ready for an adventure at every turn?

would you give up your boats and toys
for a year on the road
with nothing but a guitar
and the clothes on your back?

Would I just be a trophy on your arm?
Or would you teach me all you know
make me your partner in crime
take care of me, but teach me how to take care of myself?

If your god is money
you could never conquer me
But nothing pulls at my heart
than a man that will toil with the earth

The fear of what you keep from me
and how it could hurt me
the devastation of the lack of your touch
the unbelief at the weapons you have formed against me
that name on your lips
cause me such swells of depression
my heart breaks everyday
but it needs you so much
that it always calls on phoenix to rise from the ashes
and the magnetism of your heart
pulls on mine
and she yields like she did for the first time
like she never had the scar