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John Thomas Aug 2010
I’ve been a cracked soul walking on whole concrete

tar black soles slappin rapidly under weary feet..
the slaps are getting old but still, they repeat, they repeat..
like energizer bunnies, beatin deep on the ground beneath..
the sounds drummin off the walls, comin back, an rattlin my teeth..
I added a couple curses and spit it back rattling the streets..

that day I became a shell of a man walkin on cracked concrete

Cerebellum in hand scratchin my head hopin for thoughts to leak..
caught me starin again, eyes open to the sky, posing like an artful greek..
had this eerie feeling inside, tellin me my soul is an authentic antique..
but I still got uncomfortable when my current eugenics got critiqued..
I’m awed and terrified at what’s to come in my last couple a hundred weeks..
but I knew someday I wanna see laughter passin over a couple of my childrens cheeks..

So that day I began to be a whole man, soul searchin and walkin on my own two feet..

I started off by scratchin words furiously on a tattered old blank sheet..
but I don’t do it purposely to get my name on a brightly lit, white, and gold marquis..
it’s just this is the only voice I’ve got to spit a Kodak picture of my soul for free..
so my hands dance out a thousand words on paper.. every moment, a snapshot of “me”..
I rush to gather the images before they drown in reality like hazy morning dreams..
they stand up as living proof of who I am so I frame em for this crazy world to see..

cause today I stand on solid ground with well planted feet, as the man my family always wanted me to be..

I am the conqueror of both whole, and cracked concrete!!
By John Thomas
http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
I’ve stood on the corner and slow danced with death..
Held it’s chilly hand and took a deep breath of stress..
The cold street seemed to even heave a heavy breath..
It’s weight falling and freezing in layers upon my chest..
Everything was wrong, I could feel the need to progress..
Sick of flippin’ bags, ***** deeds, and all the rest..
Hoppin’ from bar to bar, wakin’ up feelin’ like a ****** mess..  
Out to party hard, chance the odds and do it all to impress..
But I woke up one morning and knew for sure that I’d digressed..
I’d found a fool in the mirror an all the sudden the facts coalesced..

I needed an out, a place to go, to soul search, a personal expedition..
All I had to find was a suitable place to make the transition..
To shed my filthy skin and leave New York was my only mission..
I had to start the journey that would to bring myself to fruition..
I sold everything I owned and headed to California on intuition..
I stayed in the rut for a minute but finally overcame opposition..
Without a shred of luck, here I am, a straight up redefinition..
I’m cuttin’ everything bad in out my life with surgical precision..
Becoming a free man to follow my life’s greatest ambitions..
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
Heading to nowhere, trudging, one foot falls a step in front of the last...
left battles right as one lunges for the future and one stays in the past..

Eyes scan the horizon, new possibilities with every step…
the mind grows wiser and ejects hostilities with every breath..

Gazing into the heavens selfishly to accept it’s warm love..
As sunlight falls helplessly from its ancient home above..

It traveled all the way to give me and this amazing planet life..
No turning back today, every ray makes the ultimate sacrifice..

Crashing through the darkness until it finds a reaction..
Fate and destiny have yet again have proven the laws of attraction…

Sometimes it just takes being in the right place at the right time..
For inspiration to follow the narrow path into an open mind..

This why I find myself drawn to every distant corner of the earth...
Subconsciously searching for my little section of sand, stone, or dirt..

Something keeps pulling me along to witness the unseen..
Embracing it with blind obedience leads me on to another dream..

So I'll follow this attraction no matter what's written on the scroll..
It's what the future holds, the unseen paints the missing half of my soul...
By John Thomas

read more at:

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
A year

I let out a groan as I opened my eyes and awoke to a familiar agony..
Another night, how many drinks and why? Man, what a tragedy!
Stomach churnin, throat parched, ugghh.. this isn’t how it had to be!
I washed my face hard but the sight in the mirror was still sad to see..
Got out of the shower just to wipe the fog and see the same sad empty shell of me..
I realized that all along the power lied inside and time was finally trying to tell me..

I had a revelation that day and finally found the strength to walk the sober road..
It couldn’t be half assed in any shape or form, nah I gotta make it a whole new social code..
I knew I may not withstand the temptation if I was even slightly pressured to fold..
So I made a plan that night, for one year I’d put everything else in my life on hold..
I probably wouldn’t have the courage to do it again had the future been foretold..
But at the time I felt a burning urge to go through with it and knew I needed to be bold..
I was ready to face the challenge and wanted to experience life vividly with everything it offered..
But then the challenges started a few months later when I had to close my cousins Bailey’s coffin..
I found out sitting on a plane about to head back home from a vacation, which I don’t take often..
I went numb for three hours delayed before the plane left the station an I couldn’t let myself soften..
I wanted to drink so bad my stomach hurt to suppress the thought that I had actually lost him..
But it really hit me when I laid him to rest and looked around to see everything drinking had cost him..
With unspeakable pain it made my resolve stronger and showed me another lesson in “Life”..
but I had a slit in my armor and another lesson approached like the kiss of a sharpened knife
This one took shape when I found out I’d been laid off the same week that Bailey died..
I felt pressure from every direction but continued to soldier on, stone-faced with pride..
I hosted his wake and funeral services with a strong spirit and never let myself cry..
I had to keep it together for those who never lost someone and had to say goodbye..
A few times I almost gave up but I just couldn’t bear to let my dreams start to slide..
Then a situation that seemed too good to be true appeared to me in the blink of an eye..
But as it seemed, it was an optical illusion and the business was headed for decline..
On gut instinct alone I came to a conclusion and made the difficult decision to resign..
It ended up being the best decision I ever made and now it’s comin up on my time to shine..
I followed my vision and it’s amazing how much life can change in the span of one years time..
From these experiences this page of history shows the pain, sorrow, hope, and joy of a human mind..
But don’t be fooled by appearances… the true depth could never be captured and chained by rhyme…
How can you eloquently describe the essence of human souls mingling, unexplainably entwined…
I just try to trap it gently to keep my soul singin and keep whats obtainable in mind..
I’m chronicling my journey through the decades, and this is my last entry wrappin up ‘09..
I’d like to welcome 2010 to my crusade, my pen and paper has already started trappin every line!
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com

Check out the blog for more writings and musings!
John Thomas Aug 2010
Individually notes and sounds are just hums, clanks, bangs, tweets, and twangs but together they offer us so much more.. like the ingredients to a fine gourmet meal, once assembled they dance passionately upon the palate with reckless abandon.. mingling for a second in a intricate pattern then changing forms the next, with each shift progressively stirring the elegant movements of the soul.. notes hang like climbers on the highest cliffs, inspiring the heart to race, while the feet move slowly or in accordance with the tempo.. seemingly commanded by some unseen human instinct that fires muscles into rhythmic action, man and music share the same brief moment of precious time and space.. I can think of no better way to spend 3 minutes and 30 second than sinking headlong into the skirmish of sounds to join the dancing souls they inspire.. what marvelous creations can be made from uniquely combining such independently lonely reverberations! Together, strung compellingly along with the woeful cry of a human voice displaying their bare soul in tune, they exist solely for your listening pleasure.. a release for them from the chains of imagination, and a capture for you.. carnal rhythmic instinct again makes the head bob with the tempo as the brain soaks up the sounds like a thirsty sponge on a baron sea floor.. two souls, perhaps distant in time and space, sharing love, joy, pain, and sorrow against a hauntingly beautiful auditory backdrop.. whether it’s the echo of piano strings being hammered by a man on one side of the earth, or air being delicately gifted from a woman’s lungs to a flute on the other side, the captured echo still compels a soul somewhere stranded in the middle.. and I am that soul! since the days of baying by cavemen to the progressive indie electro funk hop movement the feelings of the willing recipients of sound remain the same.. elevated, motivated, frustrated, sedated, or simply just in tune, and nothing matters until the beat slides away softly into the past.. in days gone by it only survived in the memory, the whistle, the heart, and the soul of the listener but now we are lucky enough to be able to hit “rewind” and resurrect the very same soul stirring ballad that plucked our heartstrings with just the right timing and rhythm.. we can play it over and over and dance close with it until the stars fade away and return to shine again the next day.. there’s no worry about life boorishly cutting in and stealing the next dance, leaving you lonely in a quiet corner.. now the notes of each song are captured and enslaved.. ours forever.. or at least until our own final hymn is sung at a solemn funeral procession.. until then, selfishly I continue my eternal love affair and dance with rhythm.. an open soul and a humble partner is all I can offer it in return..
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
Like a leaf falling unknowingly towards a blade of grass…
I impacted at dawn with the sound of a faded smash…
Invaded by reality, my brain whipped up a list of tasks..
But I quickly yawned it off in favor of dreams from the past…

How nice is it to retire to a place of wonder and passion…
When your days are filled with pondering your squandered rations…
A place away from heartache in a land of exotic fashions…
Strange tales of horror mixed with ****** interactions..

What a world it is that our dreams create…
Even giving glimpses of a future face..
Or maybe a real story from a future place..
Of guts and glory from earth or space…

They open Pandora’s box of ideas and images..
But unlike life, the dream diminishes…
Like the feeling of love lost with sleepy grimaces..
And the attack on your foe that’s lost it’s viciousness..

The ability to be in one place then instantly in the next…
The thought of how you got there never leaves you perplexed…
It just is what it is like the characters in this text…
Images of prisoners that your subconscious collects…

Lined up next to each other, depicting events…
Comedies, dramas, love stories, and suspense…
The feeling of realism is just so intense…
The horror is horrifying and the fortunes are immense…

That’s why I love these stories my brain invents…
So now I’m off to catch tonight’s main events…
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Oct 2010
Sometimes I wish I could talk about the pain an hurt that I hold inside..
I guess it’s just a matter of maintaining self worth and emboldened pride…
That, and I hate revealing the scars and wounds I take time to carefully hide…
Because I’m pretty sure that’s not a look of empathy I’m seein there in your eye…

See, I’m usually the last man in the line lookin for a handout or pity…
And sometimes I’d rather stroll at night alone and get swallowed up by the city,
than go out thinking about how I’m feelin hollow an still tryin to act witty..
But it’s a good thing I got drive to get past it and I thank my father that he instilled it in me..

See I grew up a good kid on the wrong side of the tracks, just a half a block past hope..
Had a childish dream of bein a politician or a lawyer but here I am, still *** broke...
That life was stolen when the last bit of air was gasped from my fathers throat..
It wasn't his fault he passed away that night, I just never learned to cope..
Instead I went out an found another life, I stayed hustlin an lightin up dope..
Constantly lookin at my morals dying through a smokey ****** scope...
A shell casing of self loathing almost destroyed the work of my loving folks..

Still through it all my mom an sis never gave up on me though..
Matter of fact, they fought harder for me at times than I did, that's the love I know!
Real talk, my big sister probably saved the life of her little kid bro..
That day she dragged my *** to college, pointed me forward, and told me to go!

I didn’t change overnight though an I’m still walkin forward on that road..
Yea, I’ve stumbled to the point that all I got left now is ****** nubs for toes..
But one foot keeps falling diligently a step ahead of where the other goes..
An aching reminder in every stride that pain and I are forever juxtaposed…

Burned into my consciousness, it’s seared deep with a long list of heartbreaks and R I P’s...
Coupled with the dull ache of lonely nights, lost love, and shattered beliefs…
These thoughts clatter around in my head whether I’m awake or asleep..
But with twin sides to every dagger, it also keeps me sharp on my feet..
Cause I don’t think there’s a heaven with angels pluckin harp strings on a golden street..
It sounds too good to be true… when it ends, I think we just skid to a stop, a whole six feet deep…

To me, there ain’t nothin heavenly about a grave, no matter how elaborate the headstone…
I know from experience that cross displayed won’t ever give you a hug or a friendly welcome home..
Even so, I still persuade myself to open my heart an truly love my fam, now I never fear the unknown..
In order to cope I’m self taught, my lesson plan to shed words instead of tears, formed into a poem..

So I live with the pain inside and hurt that glows deep in my bones and I’m learnin to happily explore it..
Call me a *******, but I figure if I gotta suffer a beautiful life on earth, I might as well be smiling for it..
John Thomas Aug 2010
The tingle passes quickly from your stomach to your throat..
Like silent cells singing every second seemingly shuddering to a note..
The breeze as she walked by me restarted the limp sails ferrying my boat..
Refreshed, her very existence left me with just enough clarity and hope..

I think I fell in love again, at least for just a second or so..

But days pass slowly followed each day by nights icy cloak..
Every lonely hour swallowed by the clocks mocking stroke..
I’ve never been a lucky man, but every now and then, I still try knocking on oak..
After bittersweet dreams of her slipping outta my hands again, wishing I hadn’t just awoke..

Cause in my slumber last night, I fell in love again, at least for just a second or so..

But every time it happens, it seems it’s gone as fast as it arose..
Back to the real world again, with the proverbial stone grinding on my nose..
All these feelings of love relegated to a cluttered mind full of prose..
Inspired by girls with stunning eyes, tattoos, glitter, and **** clothes..

I catch her eye driving by, and think I fell in love again, at least for a second or so..

But then traffic passes by and I’m shaken from my trance and left with nowhere else to go..
Searching a baron wasteland for the glance that melts the guarded walls of my heart built with snow…
I’d hike through the heart of France looking for romance or diligently circumnavigate the globe..
But sometimes I get the feeling that I’ve walked right by her and was just too stunned to say hello..

Makes me think, who knows…

Maybe I did just fall in love again... even if it was for just a second or so…
by John Thomas
http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
Some of the hardest things in life are impossible to see..
Feeling and emotions grow like the gnarled roots of an old tree..
Embedding in the soil on which they stand shedding their debris..
Leaves of happiness and joy mix with those of pain and agony..
As time goes by it becomes a layered pile of beauty and tragedy..
I admit it’s not a perfect system but this is how it had to be..

Cause if you never had a bad day then what would a good one really mean?
What else would give you the inspiration to break up a negative routine?
I finally saw this truth after avoiding it since the age of thirteen..
I stopped running once I came face to face with myself in a dream..
From now on I’m only sippin cocktails laced with self esteem..
I’ve released my addiction and sent it floatin down the stream..
By John Thomas

Check out more writings and musings at:
http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
Muffled cries echo throughout a hollow chamber..
Ringing with pangs of agony and swallowed anger…

Tears run away from the world on a mad dash in reverse…
Welling up inside the stomach that belches out a curse….

Fists clench and knuckles crack in pure fury and frustration…
Swinging wildly at the world and waiting for the referee’s separation…

But it never comes and the world’s punches just keep landing….
Life’s winning and sometimes I’m barely lucky I’m still standing…

But I keep my head up and stay in the fight no matter what…
Even if I get fed up, discouraged, beat, sliced, and battered up…

I’m gonna hold on and ride this train all the way to the end…
But I’m halfway there and hells comin up around the bend…

Rollin closer with the whistle screachin and wheels turning…
My future is crystal clear an it won’t be preachin a sermon…

But I am what I am... tough as chains an not changing my purpose…
I’m just another man who’s learned to hide the pain on the surface…

I’ll climb the highest mountain as proof that not a thing can hurt me…
And one day I’ll find my fountain of youth and drink til I’m never thirsty..
By John Thomas

Read more at:

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
I always feel like I’m running from something..
When most of the time I’ve done nothing..

Just a feeling of unease like everything could shatter soon…
I drop to my knees as my soul explodes and splatters the room…

Cold and hollow like an empty shell in the snow..
That had just been fired in anguish with a yell to hell below…

I scramble on my knees to find the missing pieces..
While my fingernails bleed from scratching the concrete and cursing jesus…

Every now and then a ray of sunshine breaks through the clouds…
Illuminating a silver lining previously covered in blackened shrouds…

But it always seems like the window of light is dull and fleeting..
And when I finally chase it, it had already been quickly retreating…

Luck always seems to be seven steps ahead of me but I keep testing it..
I’m the type to find an unlucky slot button and keep pressing it…

One of these days though I’m gonna come out on top…
Hopefully the sun’ll shine before it rests upon my final plot…

But in the meantime what choice do I have but to keep trudging..
And make goals, like finding my girl and traveling across the seas to Dublin…

I want to see the world and all of its wonder…
I want to walk the streets of the earth among the rain and thunder…

I want to see the best and the worst this place has to offer…
I want to see the deepest secrets hidden in ancient coffers..

But between now and then I’ll just get by day to day…
Take a few deeps breaths and try to keep the stress at bay…
By John Thomas

Check out more writings and musings at:
http://johnsbispicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
I know everyone who's lost someone has days when they wake up cursin..
I see it in their eyes, lookin at the sky, expecting the storm to worsen..
I wish I could reach out and comfort each one of them through passionate verses..
Cause I empathize for the man or woman who just lost that very special person..

Deep down inside I can feel their pain, cause I been through it…

I’ve see a ragged man traversing a wicked world, lost without a clue..
You can just see his grief stricken head swirl, not inkling of what to do…
looking for an exit from his situation, always thinking up an excuse..
He’s lost his occupation, and his investments weren’t recession proof…

Deep down inside I can feel his pain, cause I been through it…

A woman sits outside at night and gazes longingly at the brightest star in the sky…
At the same time, that very same star just happened to catch a lonely mans eye…
Two souls destined to share in passionate love without knowing how or why…
But a strange twist of fate decided to let them simply pass each other by..

I feel heartache for them deep down inside, cause I been through it…

For all the friends and family members that have died and moved on down the path..
For all the lovers that have lost each other’s touch, kiss, and shared their final laughs…
For all the people who have come to be an amazing person from a less than stellar past..
For all the people who struggle on and keep their heads up high when they finish last..

Know that when it comes down to it, I’ll stand by your side, cause I been through it…
By John Thomas

Find more at:

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
A fiery passion boils in an internal furnace…
A snake coils and prepares to serve it’s purpose…

One man can only hold the burden so long…
Finally out of breath from humming his rueful song..

As the chilling notes pass his weary lips…
He gasps in one last breath of the dreary mist…

He drops the heavy burden from his bruised and broken shoulders…
Wipes away the blood and sweat, it’s the end for the soft spoken soldier…

He lies down to let time nurse his sore and infected wounds…
He can cry now and say goodbye to what they expected was his tomb…

But no matter what, along that road he never faded…
Carried that burden no matter whether he was loved or hated…

Held his head up and never fell when he stumbled…
They pushed him to the no end but he never crumbled…

He kept drawing the will from some unseen source…
He battled every challenge sent by some obscene force…

He faced a true test of humanity and showed an iron heart…
This is my goal… it’s what sets the antelope and lion apart…
By John Thomas

Read more at:

http://johnsbigpicture.bogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
Someday Girl

Everyday I miss what I never had, that kiss, that feeling of bliss, leaving my head swimming in neverland...
Soft lips speaking the depths of aqua blue eyes… a brilliant smile that could stop traffic for miles.. I’m talking about a woman that’s just wild.. with a personality that could be bottled and sold in vials to melt the hardest hearts into molten piles…

My someday girl…

Walkin in the room with brilliant blond hair flowing.. exuding confidence and not afraid to show it.. pure beauty for sure you know it, when she can’t even be captured by the words of a poet.. I can’t describe my feelings inside I just know it.. someday I’ll be on a roll, meet her, and slow it…
Til then I’m patiently waiting... gasping to keep my lungs inflating… raspin verses til my tongues achin.. but I get frustrated.. cause I even visited churches and the nuns are taken..

Some days I think of giving up hope.. settling for something just to stay afloat.. but I keep waitin it out grasping at a tiny little frayed rope that’ll lead me back to the realization of my greatest hope..

My someday girl…

I hope to someday embrace her slowly… sliding my hand across silky soft skin to hold her closely… the sweet smell of her hair controls me and my heart dances to her pulse as she holds me..
I could spend eternity locked in that embrace.. if I could just find it I’d gladly step into my place.. but I guess life would be too easy if that was the case..  so everyday I tighten my shoes and keep runnin the race… stumbling through dates.. tryin to put numbers with a face… but none of em got the key to put my tumblers in place… so again I wait and I wait…

For my someday girl…

It doesn’t seem fair though, cause along the way I’ve met girls that I’ve longed to date… only to find out that they’re engaged or they’ve found a mate.. it makes me wanna shake my fist at fate..  give up, and roll a spliff to sedate and smoke it down to that last crispy trace.. but through it all I still hold that glimmer of faith.. that my someday girl will come and take her place… so I wait…

and I wait....

For my someday girl…
by John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
It’s dusty and I can’t quite see the road that lies ahead..
the wind is blustering, echoing the emptiness and dread..
I strain my eyes to try to see down the path that I’ve been led..
it happens to diverge and the lower path looks to be well seen and tread..

So I take the higher road…

The air thins and rocks seem fight my feet with every ragged step..
but I can’t seem to stop when every rising foot takes away my breath..
the view from way up top is unearthly, awesome, beyond picturesque..
but the road is cruel, rough, and jagged, ready to toss you to your death..

I still climb the higher road…

I claw and stumble further uphill towards the fabled golden plateau….
where the virtuous observe the lemmings on the beaten path below..
they’re just rushing to the end of a straight road, like the sullen crow…
true, the valley holds no danger, but it also holds no views to bestow…

So again, I take the higher road…

I see the point in the ensuing struggle and fight passionately to live my life..
I dance at the edge of every vantage point and soak up the majestic sites..
I give the world all my energy until I have nothing left inside but delight..
Then I’ll climb to the peaks for epic views and enjoy the highest heights..

I’ve earned it, for I took the higher road tonight..

I stumble and fall once more as I set out towards the mountain tops of gold..
elbows and knees battered and bruised but life has never touched my soul..
i've had my bones shattered and hope stolen but my heart was never cold..
I’m thankful for every single day alive, glad to see the meaning of life as a whole..

And all of this was given to me, because I took the higher road….
By John Thomas
http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
I’ve been to the point where I’ve strained my eyes on the bright light to the other side..
But the closer I got the light enveloped me and slowed down my frantic forward stride…
I knuckled up and flailed fists in vein, high and wide.. tired, eventually my frustration would subside..
It then dawned on me, like the sun on a newborn for the first time, that this light was all inside..

I woke up in a sweat, panicking like something was really taking place..
jumped out of bed looking for the first thing that reflected my sleepy face..
I found the image of a shaken man who had just given up a lifelong chase..
But I could see from the light in his eyes that he had just found his new faith..

Amongst all the bad in life sometimes all it takes is just a little fleeting spark…
To see that everything good about you lies within your own beating heart…
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Oct 2010
She sits alone; a breeze twists briskly by softly caressing her sullen face...
Inadvertently it chills the slick tears she tried to quickly wipe from their place…
It took every bit of strength to keep her lips from quivering and hold her head with grace…
She slyly blots her eye and looks around before sinking back into thought, fingers interlaced…

Salty prisoners caught running from the dreams played out on the backs of her tired eyelids...
Feeling trapped in a nightmare... shocking images of a shattered past littered with lonely silence...
Something’s just not right there, maybe she was cheated on or the victim of domestic violence…
Desperately wishing that just one of these ******* would show her some compassion or kindness...

But here she sits on a bench stomaching the thought of being alone to face the world herself...
Its a bitter taste that doesn't age well like the fine wines she keeps for relief on the shelf…
She’ll take a couple sips and feel the hate swell, jealousy perched on her shoulder like a devilish elf...
Whispering doubt til she really believes it with every cell, feeling like she can trust NO man for help...

The familiar thoughts creep through the back of her head like silent thieves...
As she weeps they swipe the hope right from the air she desperately gasps to breathe…
Every breath alone makes the pain, hurt, and emotions grasp at her heart and seethe...
Her body’s tired from the sobbing reluctantly causing her stomach and chest to heave...

“Am I destined to be alone forever?”
“Will I ever find a man that isn't trash, but treasure?”

Her girlfriends try to help but sometimes she doesn't like to let herself believe them…
Cause at the end of the night she sleeps alone while they're with their husband sleepin...

She convinces herself the man of her dreams must not love her or that he simply doesn’t exist...
But that couldn’t be further from the truth, he IS real… he just doesn't know where she is…
John Thomas Aug 2010
I sit electrified and bathe in the earthly hum of the mistress mountain..
My hair caressed by the wind and showered from a sunlight fountain..

I fill my lungs slowly with her beauty as I embrace and cherish the scent..
The clouds chase the sun and grin sheepishly with no fear or cares to lament..

This is truly a feeling of freedom in every glorious aspect of the term..
In love with mother nature as I touch her rock hard body and yearn..
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
To Bailey
What up cousin? It’s been a  while since we’ve spoken..
I’ve been tryin to keep my mind focused and stayin open..
tryin to figure out how to rebuild my heart again now that it’s broken..
hopin and prayin to some god that it’s all a dream an I’ll be awoken..

But I’m not an ignorant or irrational man, so it’s back to life as I know it..
now I sit here with pen in hand, talking to another lost loved one as a poet..
*******, every time it seems to get a little harder and harder to be stoic..
I do it for you, but my choice would have been to find a rock and hide far below it..

But I’ve held you down, an showed the world a face with a sculpted smile..
Meanwhile inside I strong armed my stomach to prevent the expulsion of bile..
mind racing, god ******!!! Just 29 years is nowhere near a long enough while!!
and to think, you barely even got to spend 3 of those with your child..

It makes me want to shout to the stars and curse our own existence..
I guess I learned I can’t box god due to something about my arms and the distance..
so I’ve given up being angry about it and stopped my resistance..
but the one thing it’s affected more than any other is my persistence..

From time to time I’m gonna ask someone “has anyone told you they loved you today?”
and if they say no, I’ll be the first person to show them a sincere display…
YOU taught me that bailey, and no matter what, I’ll never let it slip away…
I can’t thank you enough for your life, I wouldn’t even know how to repay!

It’s those small perfect lessons we can all take from your life…
I couldn’t even begin to tell them all in the course of one night…
you were an amazing person to anyone who met you, a true delight..
people called you a shiner, a catalyst, a loving father, and a white knight…

everyone had a story of how you had given them inspiration..
I can’t thank you enough on behalf of the world for your donations!
I’m glad I could finally write this letter to show my appreciation..
the words had been escaping me with some trepidation..

I love you Bailey, always have and always will!!
I can’t believe you’re gone but I carry on still…
I soldier up when I need to then settle down to chill…
I’ll see you when I see you, you know the drill…

Rest In Peace: Bailey Paul McKeon-Phillips
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
Like the first gulp of air on a frosty morning…
or a majestic view from halfway to the heavens..
the moment I saw your smile…
you took my breath away
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com
John Thomas Aug 2010
He’s carefree as the pen caresses the page..
Mirrored images from the mind of the sage…
So vivid the tears of pain and happiness can blind your rage..
Words livid, coming to life and dancing off the stage…

As lucid forms they rise in a furious action…..
They writhe into life newborns, in a hurried fashion…
Now exposed to a world of blood thirsty assassins…
They take shape and fight with all of their passions…

They’ve finally escaped to free paper…
No longer trapped inside their peace maker…
But their peace maker considers his pen and his pad to be saviors…
They give him what he needs and he never repays ‘em with favors…

They release these demons and give him a good night sleep…
Now staring at the back of his eyelids won’t make him weep…
Cause the words that composed his nightmares took a dire leap…
It’s safe now, he can close his notebook and retire in peace….
By John Thomas

http://johnsbigpicture.blogspot.com

— The End —