at 4 A.M.
you do these things
they become habit
eating in the middle of the night
waking up as routine
contemplating your plight
contemplation
of you
what you do
in the middle of the night
is that really you
or a symptom
or side effect
did you choose the road here
or is it a neurological pathway
a chemical imbalance
a plaque to your horror
at 4A.M.
contemplating
taking things apart
or are they
taking
apart
you

Words
A thousand of which
Crash
Trying to escape  
from my Jumbled head
Only to be
Trapped
In my mouth
Until pressure
Bursts them to
Spill
Upon the table  
For my epiphany
I hate puzzles

Monochromatic monotony
An absence of color
I fade
And fall back to
The familiar
Unknowingly
Is it comfort
Or complacency
To find myself altogether
Alone
Staring at the sea
A life spent
Bottling feelings
So that I might stay
Afloat
Has left me but a vessel
With neither heart nor note

1:11 AM
Hiding in
A cake
Riding out
The terror
Basking in this light
Blind me to it all
Capture all my fears
Envelope me
My temerity  
Save what’s left
The few words
That struggle
To be free
Of the
Terror
That is
Me

Don’t go back
And try to compare
Then with now
To superimpose
26 onto 46
A faulty logic
The past will not
Heal the future
The future
Cannot corrupt
The past
What was
Or what will be
Are concepts
To which you owe
No fealty
In the kingdom of now

Little rabbit
On the fringe
Do I frighten you
Is it fear
That froze you here
In front of me
Or are you trying
to tell me
Something
I follow your lead
As you hop
Ahead of me
And pause
You turn to see
If I understand
Is this a game
Always just
out of reach
So close
So familiar
Yet you are
Still feral
Unpredictable
And would rather
Run into traffic
Than except
What I offer

withdrawal
is not an easy thing
my affliction
my addiction
how does it fare
for you
locked doors
secure floors
you can be safe
if you could only learn
how not
to be
you
my support
meets retort
access
affection
all denied
Of course I care
we’ve both been there
i empathize
with your view
while mine
goes black
for what I lack
the oxygen
i call
you