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45 · Mar 2020
That Friend
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
We all have that friend
Who drives you around the bend
That says that they can have anyone in the bar
But ends up asleep in the back seat of your car
Often a brag to what they have done
And thinks the world revolves around their stories of fun
Whose delicate touch can make some girls quiver
But also their brashness can send them a shiver
For that friend is often a case in the making
Whose head needs turning away from this faking
Now look in the mirror and tell me it's not you
As that friend is a lie so please just be true

JJB
44 · Jun 23
Bye-Bye Great Britain
Every High Street is becoming the same
Turkish barbers,
charity stores
Now vape shops for the addicts game
A nation slowly losing its girth
As it fritters away, blindly
Losing trust, untimely
History,
falling,
even failing,
on this once hallowed turf
Our heroes, now turning in their graves
****** would be laughing
At a nation now Churchill could not save
For someone must turn this ship
To stop it going down the pan
So who could it be as we've given up hope
Because,
Christ knows,
this old girl,
need a new ****** plan

🇬🇧

JJB
44 · Jul 5
Surface
That crazy night you thought you had put to bed
Knowing one day it may raise its ugly head
White and blue but caught wearing red
The less we dwell, the less well said
Secrets are a burden to those who carry
The more well hidden, the heavier the tally
Some crazy affair, your accountant named Sally
Better than that drunken kiss with old boss Barry
As distances need stretching more than at arms length
Best leave on a solomn smell and not a suspect stench
Always the star player, never sat on the bench
Discrepancies need securing, best tightened with a wrench
This place is now making me nervous
Lets leave on a high
Before my secrets,
rise to the surface

JJB
43 · Jan 2020
Leaning
John Bartholomew Jan 2020
A little to the left
A little to the right
Hell I think I've seen all our sins
Looking beyond all what might have been

We lean a different way everyday in life
Depends on what has been giving you trouble and strife
I'll vote Labour one day and the Greens another, prey
It's all who has the best policies in all of what they say

My favourite actor, footballer or the car that I might drive next
All different decisions on what hasn't got me vexed
For our minds do blow on the direction of our inner winds
As a politician you were great now look at their dastardly sins

Again, a lean to the left when all is good and proud
A lean for right to get it off your mind, a shout now heard so loud

Whatever way you lean it's good to get it off your chest
For only you can decide which way to lean,
And do for you,
What really is for the best

JJB
There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.

Winston Churchill

Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.

Stephen Covey

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

Danny DeVito

If you are not leaning, no one will ever let you down.

Robert Anthony
42 · Mar 29
House of Gosh
What being do we serve
To gasp in their name
That one in a million
When they're all just the same
Oh my (blank)!
Oh my (blank)!
Oh my (blank)!
Who do we offend
With this blasphemous outburst we send
That we're all so under the kosh
We now all shout
Oh my Gosh!

JJB

#FORGODSAKE
41 · Jun 26
Screens
Remember when we used to get bored?
Sitting on the loo with nothing to do
Reading bottles by the bath,
ingredients to your mums shampoo
Watching the dew roll down,
the inside of the moving train window
Whilst staring at the fields whizz by, wondering, who built that scarecrow
Now a wandering thought is a novelty
We don't want to think, need distractions
A screen now our go to guarantee
Be it in our hand, the phone or laptop
A must in life,
our brains,
sadly,
Are starting to rot

JJB
35 · Jul 2
Impressions
The first minute you're out to impress
The hair
The scent
The way you're dressed
The films you have watched
The traffic you have stopped
The firearms cocked
The time is now
The reaction needed is wow
The only thing is to work out is how

Impressions

JJB
32 · Jun 27
Back When We...
It's hard to know where to start...
Was it when we smiled at our farts
Our world seemed less offended
By just everyday laughs
Suddenly, we become so precious
When a joke was a joke
And good humour was priceless
On what day did we become so picky
Revising the words in our head
Not to say something deemed tricky
From the nineties nobody could even see
This future we accidentally mapped out
That upsets the whole of Gen Z
Preferable when we,
just went out and rode our luck
Back when we,
didn't give a ....

JJB
28 · Jun 18
Lost
Our words have faded
No looks
No love
Unknowingly jaded
What did I do
Something I said
Something in bed
We cannot roll back the years
So please talk
Show me which way to walk
Before this all ends up in tears

JJB
11 · Jul 1
We're all Famous Now
We can be what we want,
with no exact perfection
A musician
A comic
A poet
Just stick it online
It'll find it's section
Most will sink without discretion
Some surface for limited attention
Give it a go, let's see what you've got
If its no good, then off you trott
But come on, step up,
and take that once in a lifetime bow
Because,
hell,
We're all Famous Now

JJB
#tiktok #instagram #YouTube
Awash in awe at its sight
The noise, the anger, the ferocity
Such wonder when seen on film
Putting (m)other natures landmarks to pity
Surrounded by motels, casinos, and ****** that calls
A couples retreat, no question, Niagara Falls
Its where you propose, or your first kiss
Ponchos get ready
Time to set sail on
The Maid of the Mist


JJB
0 · 2d
Weird Ways
Strange, can be a word used, in the kindest of sense
Quirky, away with the faries, but never no harm meant
Gathering our thoughts that sometimes go astray
We all go off kilter, in our weird and wonderful way
Some thoughts if aired could land you inside
Those ones you would never tell,
that you should be standing for Pride
An in-kept secret, locked down, never to escape
Only you can lift that barrier, and cut that red tape

JJB
That sympathy smile
If you asked, they'd run a mile
Although some do like our niche
A certain obscure taste to brag
Whilst eating their celery quiche
We sometimes fit a perverts kick
Another box for them to tick
Sorry you're ill, but we like them sick
That hospital smell, exquisite, and not in good nick
Are we last in line as easier to reach
That smell of disinfectant mixed with toilet bleach
But love does come in strange shapes and sizes
Some wear a mask, for gain in disguises
Others see it through, a rock in your crisis
No matter the option,
No matter what procedure,
if going under the knife
To always hold your hand
The person you love,
will be there for life

JJB
0 · 6d
All in the Name
Samsung
But what did Sam sing
Winalot
But they won a lot of what
******
No longer still searching
Black and Decker
The DIY mans Mecca
Hotpoint
To wash out that ****-joint
****
Oh so naughty, if in the wrong head

JJB
Flying, light bound
Does it define heaven?
Artificial at night to the phone
Is it seen as a place they call home?
What wonder must define their brain
When in theory, they all think the same

Moth

JJB

— The End —