Lost in a spider's maze
a mind set ablaze
lost in a ocean of self hatred
slowly dying with no wish to live

but see that light?
it's coming for you
there's someone waiting for you
someone who needs you
someone who will miss you
someone who will cry every night your gone -
physically or mentally
who would never forget
you
or any memory made with you
someone who would perish without you
Don't forget someone cares
someone always cares
trust me I know
she cares, someone cares

I know I've been looking the wrong way
I've been trying,
trying for all my days
for something i know
is never going happen
no matter what they say.
that one day I'm gonna be perfect
that one day practice will make me:
perfect,
perfect in every way
but i know the truth now;
see I've been practicing and practicing every day
yet it always ends
the exact same way.
you didn't try
try hard enough
well how much is enough?

so maybe I'm not perfect
but you know what they say:
perfect is just too boring
to live with everyday.

Hush my little one
And sleep
I promise not to leave you
And to watch over your Sleeping form
In moonlight or day
Not a wink
I will sleep
While you still slumber
I blunder and cry
And apologize
My sweet little baby
I tried to leave again
But it was your smiling face
I remembered
In my dark hours
And I came back for you
I'll never leave you.
My shooting star

I love you
And good bye hurts
But I'm just hurting you
I'm dragging you down.
You say you'll die
Without me.
But I know that's a lie
I'm not that important
You'll forget me soon
And move on with your own life
Your better off
Believe it or not

I'm so tired of the insults
the hints too...
coming from the ones,
I want to believe in me
I wanna make proud

I'm so tired of being called stupid
called an idoit
told I'm a b**
ugly...

I'm tired of loving
people who insult my pride
but can't stop caring
can't stop thinking
my problems are small
theirs are bigger
I can hold this in
its my job.
no crying allowed ever
not even alone
but...

every word sets a scar a new
upon a broken heart
every teardrop from their eyes
kills me softly
every drop of blood from the smallest of wounds
destroys me

I keep trying to take everything
the pain
the sorrow
and leave only happiness
it burdens me so...
but for some reason
I love it
maybe because its grown on me.
and its fond of me now...
it does the one thing I've always wanted
it doesn't let me go without throwing a
prideful glance
my way.

Real tears
what are they?
pain boiled inside out
bottled together waiting
pressure building
held inside till the time is wrong
then released

real tears
do not come cheap
they come with weakness
with giving up
with lies
with scars

real tears
mean you've lost the game
your done surviving

real tears
I refuse to shed ever
especially not for you

I WILL NOT CRY FOR YOU!
*sobs

Its funny
how we make fun of everything.
the homeless guy down the street,
that odd kid in English class,
that random person that walks by,
clothing we see in the store window,
our friends,
our family,
ourselves.

Ain't it funny
how we poke fun at people
without truly understanding them.
never understanding how
even the dumbest joke
can hurt.

Ain't it funny?
yes
yes it is
until laughter
turns to tears

Hello Darkness,
I'm here again.
I left the light
For you.
For while the light is fleeting
You are forever lasting.
Always a reminder
that it is forbidden
To love
For who I love
I will hurt.
I've got nothing left to give.
Please fill my cracks and holes
With your loneliness
And bitterness
Speaker of my soul
And Whisperings of self hatred
Surround me with the voices
And remain with me
Like no one can.

Your better off without me
I'll just ruin you.
So I'm letting you go
It may hurt for awhile
But this good bye
Is for the best.
I hope you find happiness.