You broke me, but I came out stronger than ever.

There you go, messing with my heart again.
Do you think I'm here just for your amusement?
I don't exist just so you can come back to me whenever you get bored with whomever you ran off with.
Don't pretend like you want me back when we both know it's not true.

I look back on my past as if I am suddenly wiser, more mature, more intelligent.
I look back on my past and judge myself, wondering how I thought things could be a good idea when they obviously weren't.
I look back, even as recent as past weeks and months, and realize How immature I really am.
I speak like a child.
I think like a child.
I act like a child.
And I know that not too long from now, maybe even in he coming weeks, I will look back on this day and realize that I am a mere child in this world.
My life is but a blink of an eye in the life of this world.
Looking back I see how far I've come,
And how far I have yet to go.
But in the end,
We are all a child at heart.

These days I can't seem to catch a break.
I want to be happy again.
I'm so scared to sleep because I know what I will see when I shut my eyes.
You left and took a piece of me I needed.
I've tried to apologize. I've apologized over and over again.
Even "I'm sorry" screams "come back" if you say it enough,
I know I shouldn't be surprised.
I knew you were the type to pour salt in the wounds but I never thought you'd do that to mine.

I don't know why I still check your poetry page every day.
I know you'll never be back.
You haven't been on since that day.
So why do I feel the need to check?
How could I possibly think you will ever go back to it?
Honestly, I don't know.
All I know is that I still love you,
And my life is nothing without you.

I'd like to say I don't think of you
That you don't cross my mind until your name crosses my screen
And only then do I take the time to care

I'd like to say that I don't
That I haven't devoted any energy to wasting
That it is all too precious to give away to anything but positivity

I'd like to say I would need to think twice if you asked to see me
But I know too well that I wouldn't
I'd say yes
okay
of course
when
All without asking why

I don't know why some people come back and trust me when I say I want to
But I would without question welcome you with open arms and no hesitation
I wouldn't even pause to wonder why you left in the first place

I'd like to say that I'm happy,
That this heart is a filled balloon and there is enough oxygen for me to breathe easy
But sometimes I find myself suffocating on what I don't understand

I am scared that I could so easily let you back in the way I always swear I'll never do again
But I have and I do and I probably will
All you need to do is ask
And I'd say yes,
okay,
of course,
when?