~



The morphine undissolved upon his dry and cracked tongue
Mother frantically grabbing and sobbing
asking 'why' even though cancer
had been devouring him for years

I slid a silver ring off his cold finger
feeling the thin and frail culture
I thought back to massive hands holding wide leather belts
who would be able to discipline me now

More pills swirled around the toilet bowl
everything that wouldn’t get mom or I high
sank and disappeared
I think I flushed my feelings that day too

Fading images play in my mind
his braided hemp cord necklace woven around a tiger’s eye
the black heart earing that I lost almost the same moment
they wheeled his body out into the day
mom collapsed like a dying balloon
in dad’s chair
her red watery eyes looking up at me
still holding the same questions   /

~


for years innumerable
  this generational mystery persisted
     even when the heat radiated down
          and not a shadow would pass

                 the slightest rumbles

not the rumbles of a drifting shelf
    or the slipping of a plate far away
         but something similarly natural
                 and soothing

                  cozy and nestled in a cradle
                   kits slept against grey skin
                   edges softened and worn
                   offering the perfect bassinette
                   to another family of foxes

a strong wind tipped a tree
     crumbling mountain found a canyon below
          the snows came and ice stretched deep
                 separating basalt and sedimentary
                      I felt myself falling apart

It was after this harshest of winters
     I began to notice different sounds...

the constant steady clicking
       of a raven cracking filberts
             upon my exposed bones

the trickling of a nearby stream
   carrying away pieces of my body
        rolling them smooth
               sending them to lands
                    I would never see
            
and the foxes

each early spring and late summer
      they would return to my womb
               bring forth new life
                     from the belly of a stone

I have lost count….
     how many babies have I held
              how many soft toes have explored my veins
                    how many light yips from the depths
                             have lulled me to sleep
                                          when strong winds blow
                                                 and the trees begin to lean    /

I sat across looking at my wife
Thinking, “Has there ever been another woman like Tina Lyn”
I was considering our shared love
The commitment we made to trust
Our choice to maintain an open dialog regarding faith
And always go to bed with hearts full of happiness

It’s not always easy to hold onto happiness
But it is easier when you have a relationship built on trust
Like the one I have with my wife
It only takes a little faith
And someone like my Tina Lyn
To have a life full of peace of mind and love

I wish everyone knew there was this kind of love
If only everyone could find their Tina Lyn
Then they too could experience this happiness
And begin to have some faith
Build a life with their lover or wife
With a strong foundation of honesty and trust

I never knew I could have such trust
In my youth I had no faith
Only fleeting moments of happiness
That all changed when I found my wife
And allowed myself to open up to her love
It was then I knew I would spend eternity with Tina Lyn

I still remember the first night I spent with Tina Lyn
And our conversations about the meaning of trust
And how important that was to real happiness
Is it any wonder I made her my wife
I had never known such complete and unconditional love
So I took a chance on faith

It’s a funny thing about faith
When one considers it without god, only trust
I had to learn these things from Tina Lyn
Even though I knew I ‘wanted’ a life full of love
‘Wanting’ is not the road to true happiness
and would have never brought me my perfect wife

I think about my happiness as a man in love
The trust I have in my relationship with Tina Lyn…
Only person to ever bring faith into my heart is my wife

Lost in the fluidic movements of Keats
Feeling each line, steady rhythm ‘n beats
Sending my head spinning, beautiful tune
Swooning all love-struck hooked on the spring moon
Glancing gay-fully over hill ‘n yon
Silently anticipating
the breaking of dawn
brought back in a flourish reading aloud
tears well up as I destroy this old shroud
keeping me locked up so tight…life, no air
thinking repeating rhyming couplets
lead only to despair
but here is a romantic from days past
creating lovely pictures that do last
with only his words, ink, quill, and parchment
thoughts, ideas, love, being different,
setting them free on wings of written word
allowed then to soar, spectacular bird
then to perch on tongues of well-spoken men
let loose on the world, set free once again
travelling sounds delighting each sweet ear
giving peace to downtrodden… far, and near
offering some solace to the forlorn  
on the darkest and coldest dreary morns
these sounds which fly so high, brighten the sky
swirl in the mouths of our loves when we die –

hearing footfalls
pattering on faux hardwood
quickly moving
from this room to that
seeking, endlessly
a small discarded morsel
or tidbit of foodstuffs
to gobble recklessly –
wet black nose searches,
snorting and sneezing
while surveying the scene
momentary pause
as the slightest crumb
comes to light
large pink wet tongue
scoops the prey into the waiting jaws –
nails against the linoleum
scurrying paws clatter
loud slurps from a bucket
and the crunchy rustle
of kibble in a tin dish
plopping down, flattened dog bed
one last sniff of the air
before laying a big head down
and trying to get some rest
before the next round –

flashing tail fins
darting under and behind
Lilli pad leaves
white and orange coy
circle beneath the bamboo –
undefined spots
blend
giving a swirling kaleidoscope
to tiny fish bodies
Heron camouflage –
sitting on a hand crafted wooden bench
I toss flakes into the water
enjoying the quick surfacing
and instantaneous dive
of my scaly entertainers
another few flakes
another whirlpool –
a large orange and brown fishy
swims precariously close to me
gently I dangle ******* into the drink
six inch coy barely mouths
and nudges my fingertips
I think I just got to pet
my pet fish –