Sometimes I bash my head against the wall
until I crack my skull and thought flows out
I let it ooze out from the wound
and tingle down my neck
my arms
my hands
until it lands upon the page and leaves a burn

I got a tingling sensation in the soles of my shoes
it has spiderwebbed up through my toes.
Flowing right through the depression and news
it's taken control of my nose.
A feeling so sweet and euphoric almost
but I cannot accept it's control,
so I fight it, I'll fight it until it lets go,
lets me back to my feeling of droll.
It feels so great, but I won't let it win
cause I know that I'm better than that
this feeling of "happy" will not win me over
I'll stop it before it's too far.
So I turn on the TV, flip back to the news
settle in to watch stories of ****** and ****
I let it wash over and then go right through
till my soul will submit and sedate.
Then that feeling called "happy" will go, pass me by
It will fly with the birds to the south
I'll enjoy corporate life so cold, cut, and clear
let society take both my ear and my mouth.
But that happiness still in the sky to the south
looks out for new people to hold
it seeks out simplicity, individual thought
and someone to let it take hold.

Someone not caught in material things
someone to let it take hold.

Someone who loves to keep those little joys
someone to let it take hold.

Skating on moments of contact
and spinning in soul exposing leaps
propelling through fun times and laughter
till hitting a divit and falling.

The fall is so cold and jarring
and I slide for a little while after
then I try to get up on those blades of persistence
and take one more glide and move on.

How many times can I trip up and fall?
Stumble on romance and crush?
One of these days I may just give it up
when I realize all that I lost.

There isn't a single thing tangible
to vision or to the touch
on the list of the things that I lost
when I slipped on the sheet of love.

I didn't lose money or items
you didn't take any cold cash
the things that I did lose: confidence, emotion
I lost because you never knew.

desert winds dry out the sun-cracked dirt
dust rises from the southern dunes to fall
sand coats the tongue and works into the eyes
mirages fade away leave our throats parched

the heat combines with horrors that we face
of human kind explosions and the smoke
that comes from black gold bubbling underground
and floats into the hazy purple sky

someday we venture home to family life
our scars on skin heal faster than the mind
we're different than before we travelled east
to deserts filled with oil and dust and smoke

The penthouse view is not so great
for seeing details like expression
on the beggars face in the city park.

Private jets fly much too high
to pick up hitchhikers along
that lonesome country road.

And Capitol Hill is much too steep
for the poor to climb
they clamber at it's foot.

Nobody asks that you walk along that lonely road,
or beg in a city park.
We only ask you don't look past
the ones who do below you.

distance from relationships
assures they never hurt you
Like the dentists anesthesia
the distance numbs the pain
but takes your taste and speech
until the feeling is regained.


Whats the point of living
cooped inside a lonely room?
Away from storms and danger
but the radiance of the sun
never penetrates the armor
of your safe and lonely womb.
when I killed emotion
it took me with into the tomb.

I can't think straight
when others feed
bent information
to my brain

The final product
comes out distorted
from right ear to left
cogs turning in my head

The gears don't mesh
when stories don't fit
the mind was made for straight
information
and can't take these bent up lies

We the Sheeple of the Modern world,
in Order to form a more uniform society,
establish careers,
insure domestic conformity,
destroy the uncommon difference,
demote the idealistic,
and imbed the hatred of abnormality to ourselves and our Posterity,
do ordain and establish this societal law for the Earth and all it's inhabitants.

Five days a weak we get up early.
We slog out of bed or wherever we laid
when we tired out the night before.

We get in cars and wait in traffic,
waiting to get to our destination
and when we do we find our place to park.

Same spots everyday or at least near to it,
we never have to remember our place
it's muscle memory from car to door and back.

All day we sort of coast on through,
trying not to nap after six hour rests,
we keep up our heads and we go through the motion.

All day we think of where we could be,
what we could do if we only weren't here,
and what we will do when the weekend roles around.

When the clock strikes that time we get up to go home
walk out the door to our own parking spots,
we won't have to search for the car at least.

That same traffic home along the same route
that exit is slow, that light never changes,
just like this morning and yesterday.

And when we get home, it's the same old routine.
Dinner, maybe computer or television,
talk to family or friends maybe.

Then off to bed.
we have to rest up for that long day tomorrow.
think through the list of what we have to do.

Tomorrow will be just like today was,
or at least near the same shade of gray,
your whole day there at school or work.


Either is fine, which did you imagine since line five?
they're synonymous anyway
only one doesn't pay.

But I ask all,
what do we do this for?
We go through the same every day.
Why don't we stop, and enjoy little things?
I'll tell you why, it isn't practical.
We go to school to prepare for college,
college prepares for a job.
A job helps us find our own niche, a career,
to work in for multiple decades.
We may get bored but we have to keep going,
Why? There is 401K.
We need our career to help us retire,
enjoy our last years of life.
We have problems with vision, poor hearing too,
we can't remember things anymore.
Our muscles are gone, our movement has limits,
so many things we can't do.  
So why do we do this societal thing?
School, College, job, career, retirement, death?
There isn't a point anyway,
we compete with our neighbors instead of agree,
it's easier though just to follow,
we don't have to think what to do anymore,
the path was pre-blazed for us all.
Just like our cars,
we won't have to search for what life has to offer,
if we follow the pack and ignore little things.
My advice to all focus on the important things,
taxes, job, money, items, government,
ignore those dumb things
life experiences, fun, free thought, artistry, philosophy,
and what ever you do
Don't ignore societies expectations.
Remember you have to have money to feel fulfilled.
Money and prestige will never be bettered by friends and by life.
The clear path is straight and written in black,
no room for experimentation,
so please, do the human race a favor.
Do not show love or regard for others,
and what ever you do do not think out of the box
that will get in the way of success.
Follow the path where you don't have to think.
The one that society drew.

I say I Will change
I'll work out and be more bold
False resolutions

He says crazy
        I say creative
He says ******
        I say ballsy
He says weird
        I say wonderful
I love you
           You love him

                                                  He loves her

Every day we're hungry, thirsty, cold.
Looking for protection
to survive another day.

Days go by we're tired out and old.
cans hold our collections
under newspapers and rags.

And though your gaze turns back to piles of gold
we still need protection
even when you look away.

They say that you die twice
Once when you breathe your last
and again when your name
is spoken no more

I'm not afraid of breathing my last
to feel life slip from my body
I'll meet that head on and pass into beyond
whatever awaits afterwards

The death that scares me
is the second fatality
when memories linger no more
nobody remembers, nobody cares

slowly slip away

out of sight

out of mind



like I never existed at all

It really isn't fair you know
To play me like a game
You cause a fall
You aren't at fault
You do not know my name

I've thought of you quite often in
These last few lonely months
You don't know this
You won't notice
You do not know my name

I pass by you when I take walks
Then falter in my step
You feel nothing
You keep walking
You do not know my name