My heart yearns for an adventure
For a strange and rare venture
Oblivious of the tons of dangers
For in adventures I ain’t a stranger
For I would relieve childhood years
That I spent with my little peers.

An adventure in distant lands
Where the children play with wet sands.
And dolphins jump out of water
When the noon sun makes the ocean hotter.
Where the fisherman yaw his boat
To capture all the salmon afloat.

An adventure by the oasis in the Sahara desert
Where Tuaregs sit by the cactus to eat dessert.
And watch as scorpions prey on lizards
To feast on their gizzards.
I want day sun to warm my smooth skin
And the night cold to shiver my crude chin.

An adventure cuddling cold snow on my hand
Where the icy pillars in their majesty stand.
And make a cave of snow
Strong to stand when wind blow.
Then I will scare the polar bear
That my cave like a paper wants to tear.

An adventure on the corn field
When in summer the flowers yield
When the butterflies pollinates the corns
And the farmer weeds out the thorns
I want to watch the corn spring to life
When the early rain is rife

An adventure across the sky in a plane
And watch as daylight slowly wane.
I want to leave a route on the sky
That in the future I would still ply.
Then immortalize my name in the cloud
That dark clouds in their anger cannot shroud.

An adventure deep in the amazon woods
When the purple squirrel burrow for food.
Where the monkey sway their tails
And red roses litter narrow trails.
I want to watch the ants builds their mounds
As the ripe mangoes fall on the ground.

An adventure that will lead to places
Leaving on all its paths my traces.
Permanents prints that will last
Even when my life like history is past.
And my adventure would be told as a tale
That like time will not stale.

My emotions in the mirror looking into the past are closer than they appear to be -what is the truth of me- is it what I allow myself to think or is it what I feel and how do I heal my pain body building up at a cellular level doing pushups inside years of experience perceived through tears and mysteriously they linger only in my mind yet are just as real as you and I and are not limited by the illusion of time and there is no rhyme or reason as to why I can't let go so I think it must be my egocentric will that has a death grip and it needs to be killed before the true me turns over my death wish and surrenders to God's Will which wants me to be happy joyous and free having interesting and vital experiences that teach me to see clearly the source of everything is God and that listening to what She is speaking to me through others and showing me in each scene of synchronicity in every single ineffable moment is what sparks the fire in my soul and if I allow myself to go spirituality broke again by trying to regain control by pretending to run the show again the cancer will only grow into more restless irritability and discontentment rendering my true self defenseless of my self-centeredness engulfed in fear relinquishing all hope of any hope and I know I desire Love and not to be alone so hear my cries oh God -the Indefinable Unknown- save my soul and carry me... and crucify my ego.

I am not human with the frailties of what every
sentiment falls on my thoughts that I pen in black
but in a colour blind effect is written in red.

As is the pain that I etch-a sketch in wobbly lines
showing that drawing my emotions isn't as perfect
as I want it to be.

But still I draw a picture with words in how I'm feeling
beneath every collage of moulded words. But like paper
I split between the effect of what happens midway.

Read upon what I spend on every word and see that
I'm just as you human, humanity in frailties that spill
in black, but bleed my emotions on every single new page.

if only we would love  
with our eyes
closed
and our hearts
open

we would not see
the outer shell

we would simply
fall in love with
the soul
the spirit
the heart
before us

for the rest
eventually falls away

She tried .
She tried daily ,
With a fake smile on her face ,
Thinking that she could deceive everyone ,
Including herself ,
That she's happy .
But when it comes down to 3am in the morning ,
She realize she couldn't deceive one person ,
And that's herself .

My mind is at war with itself.
Neither side willing to give an inch to the other.

"It's like 2 sides
Of the same coin"

Is that what you think?
Is that what you say?

Well flip that **** coin already,
Tell me how this all plays out.
Take me from this constant hell.

Oh look, it's landed on its edge.
Balancing precariously in the middle, just like me.

Now tuck me back into bed,
I guess I'll just sleep forever  
In this haunting nightmare.

for Mary Ann*

there are more dolls
than people

remember, daughter, our jack-in-the-box

how it studied
all kinds
of music?

pain is religious
grief
is not