It is relentless

It never quite ceases

Out of the multitude of predicaments, one is resolved only to be followed by another colossal quandary

I am exhausted, depleted of all vigor

So ready to resign and wash my hands of this existence

Alas, I'd like to rest now.

Sometimes I think I have a black abyss in my brain that memories fall through and rarely come back from.

One day I woke up with the feeling of excitement because,  although I couldn't  remember, something was going to happen that day. Something that I fell asleep thinking about the night before with anticipation. I went through the whole day ardently thinking about what it was but for the  life of me, I couldn't remember.

And then I realized it was ice cream.
I had bought a pint of Forbidden Chocolate ice cream the night before and I had stopped myself from eating the whole thing at 2 in the morning. I had told myself I would eat it for breakfast the next morning.

It was ice cream. Friendly's  Forbidden Chocolate ice cream to be exact. That was what kept me itching my brain all day fervently to remember. I almost wished  I hadn't remembered. I almost wished I could pretend it was something bigger, something better that I could look forward to for the rest of my day. Something I could look forward to for perhaps even the rest of my life.

Ice cream. It was just ice cream.

The available level of oxygen left in these debilitated lungs of mine is at .01% and I'm turning absolutely cerulean.

Regardless, I'm feigning things are fine.

My wizened lips are starting to quiver. They're growing numb from being elongated into a desperate smile.

I'm saying I'm fine when really I'm gradually starting to notice lights in front of my eyes and the world seems to be on a broken elevator that goes up and down much too quickly and my legs and arms have perceivably left the rest of my body to the forces of gravity.

But really, I'm fine.