And when the day did come..
You were yet another in the crowd.
Your hair loose, your posture tilted
Against the warm air around.
We did not speak at once,
For your name was only one to guess.
Your voice soft to my ears
Your face as bright as day.

And when the day did come..
Your eyes were faded, blue.
Your giggles would never run out.
And your words just came out even.
Your actions were ones to love.
The time well spent, all mine.
Pictures for my books.
Letters from another self.

And when the day did come..
That a man took hold of your hand:
And pulled you away to a place,
Where I became no one to -.
Your face had fallen down,
Your eyes kept closing, slow.
No words came from your mouth.
And we were just no more.

And when the day did come..
When I felt a deep, hard loss.
The pain came down above,
My cheeks with warm, wet salt.
Your face, clear in my mind,
And name, choked in my throat.
Nothing left inside..
You took the whole **** lot!

And when the day did come..
When I caught you looking at.
Heart; pounding in my chest,
And breathing all too fast.
No words came from my mouth,
Or movements from my hands.
My feet did all I could.
Acceptance was the need.

One.
When my mom found us asleep in my bed at 4am and screamed at you to 'Get the **** OUT of her house,' you texted me the very next morning and asked to see me as though it never even happened.

Two.
When my family went out of town without me for Thanksgiving, we stayed the whole day at your place and watched foreign movies and ate pasta.

Three.
On our first date, we sat in your car until 3am just... talking.

Four.
When my sister really wanted that new Pokemon game and my local Walmart sold out, you voluntarily drove almost 5 towns over just so she could get it because you knew I couldn't for her.

Five.
The first time we had ***, I cried. I still don't know why. You held me the whole time.

Six.
You woke me up with tickets to one of my favorite musicians of all time, for a tour I didn't even know about.

Seven.
When my dogs died, you stayed up with my the whole night as I cried. Both times.

Eight.
The first time you kissed me was at a gas pump at 10pm after I changed out of my blouse and into my hoodie.

Nine.
You took me to Buffalo Wild Wings even though you're a vegetarian. You even put up with my singing each 2008 Billboard Top 100 song as it played. I could tell you were embarrassed for me, but you laughed and kissed me anyway.

Ten.
When I told you I hadn't been to the art museum, you took me. When I told you I'd never been to Chipotle, you took me. When I told you I hadn't felt safe in years, you made me feel the safest I ever have.

Eleven.
After you kissed me the first time, you admitted the thing that "made" you kiss me was my purple-stained lips after I ate Superman ice cream while belting out songs terribly and sitting in the passenger seat of your car.

Twelve.
When I told you that you were a terrible tipper and I was a waitress, you immediately stopped tipping terribly.

Thirteen.
You left me a voicemail telling me you appreciated me, that you felt lucky to have me, and you claimed you didn't deserve me. While I disagree, I felt it. That was the first time I heard you say "I love you" before you had actually said the words "I love you."

In truth

Eyes brought me to knees
Only God shows what God sees;
Heart closes, eyes opened


Hope

Hands wrung tight on hope
Truth landslides down the mountain;
Loose hands never hold

Resist

Dissolved in your sights.
Puddle of inconsequence;
Easily taken

Mismatched

Found, lost in your eyes;
The universe tilted left.
Now, nothing is right.

"How do you know it's the end?"
She asks me through her tears.
It draws me back into the darkness,
Where I was faced blindly with my fears.
The scratching of heads;
The whimpers of voices;
The constant inconvenience;
And hobston's choices.

What kept me in that consistent loop?
Was it really comfort?
And what made me oblivious to your warped mind,
That did not value me or my effort?
The hatred, oh it's real!
But my heart somehow still broke.
You took with you more than our lifetime,
When you opened your mouth and spoke.

A new path was constructed.
And our moments slipped away.
Your absence became less obvious,
With the passing of every day.
But within me, past all my minds thoughts,
There is a feeling hidden deep down inside.
It dents my negativity and forgives all my regrets,
And it's the single reason I cried.

Because inside you, I seen potential,
For you to be loving, kind and true.
A man who could put others before himself,
My life partner, who would help me through.
And the darkness created that image.
Without light, I was blind.
I could not see your true colours,
Or the mask you hid behind.

Sometimes you allowed the light in,
And your beauty was something real.
You were more than that potential man,
And no hatred did I feel.

We had a future, though you did not believe it.
But that faded away with you.
I think it was all just for the better,
As your last words were the most true.

And now I'm standing before my reflection,
Asking myself how you know it's the end, for real?
And the answer is simple when you look at your surrounding,
Only to find, silence is all you really feel..

You may want to ease up on the sugar there,
You know it's the reason you gained weight.
And look aside from the darkness, would you?
I think it has discouraged your faith.
Why do you wake up each morning,
And allow your mood to create your day?
You know if you truly wanted to be happy,
Your bad mood would stay away.
Why don't you change the way you dress,
It may raise your self-esteem.
Move your bed out of that dark corner of your room,
And then, I think, tonight you may actually dream.
Ditch the people who bring you down,
You know exactly who they are.
And while you're at it, it may just help,
If you also let go of her.

Was there a time when you believed in her,
And thought she was the one?
Because I can't seem to understand the fact
That, now, you are alone.
You both still laugh at each other's jokes,
And live your lives side by side.
But she has a new life, away from yours now,
She has left your relationship behind.
Did the things she did cause you to build up a wall,
That you intended to hold up against the world?
Or is that iron suit of yours
Protection against one single girl?

I thought I broke down that wall of yours,
To get a good glimpse inside.
But instead you just showed me where the cracks were forming,
And hid yourself away again after a while.
I can't help but wonder what it is that scares you
Away from the intentions of my pursuit?
But more importantly, I'm curious to know,
What caused those cracks in your iron suit?

One morning you awoke and your heart just changed.
You no longer felt the same.
You wanted to tell her the truth of the matter,
But it was years before those words finally came.
A pessimistic cloud formed itself above you,
And since it has followed you around.
How could it be that you feel nothing at all,
While inside I can feel my stony heart pound?

She should have held on tighter, and fought for you harder,
No matter how much you believed it was the end.
Because something inside me is convinced you are hurting
From all the things you thought you could not mend.
Surely there must have been something left,
If you held on for so long.
Comparing you now to who you were then,
I'm curious to know what went wrong.

Did she tell you too many lies?
Or could you just not handle the truth?
Was it anything to do with her at all?
Or was it simply all just about you?
It kills me to know that she got behind that wall,
She seen more than just the flesh beneath the cracks.
And still she let go and moved on with her life,
With no intentions to ever look back.

And with that thought I think I found the answer.
I finally understand the truth.
She is the reason you let the world slip away.
She caused the cracks in your iron suit.