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Jason 28m
I've been alone for so long
Forgotten by the world forgotten to myself
Your effervescent eyes have awakened me
And brushed the dust away
But I knew you'd never stay
So I memorized the color of your eyes
As I lost myself inside you
I memorized the way our legs entwined
As I drifted off beside you
I miss
God I miss waking up beside you
At night I cling to you I'm so afraid
Afraid the day will come
And I'll wake up and find you gone
But you promise that you'd not abandon me
And kissed my fears away
But I woke up to that day
But I had memorized the way our eyes would meet
Reflected in the bathroom mirror
And I memorized your naked silhouette
As you slowly brushed your hair
I miss god I miss waking up beside you
I've been alone for so long
I forgot how much it hurts to wake up so alone
But I memorized how warm your body felt
As you lay half asleep beside me
And I memorized the way the sunlight filled the room
And played upon your body
I miss god I miss waking up beside you
Stabbing Westward - Waking Up Beside You

I would have posted only my favorite part, but the whole thing is so poignant and beautiful, I just can't break it up.
34m · 6
Overcome
Jason 34m
You sure you want to be with me?
I've nothing to give
Won't lie and say this loving's best
Whoa, leave us in emotional peace
Mmm, take a walk take a rest
And taste the rest
Don't wanna be on top of your list
Monopoly improperly kissed
We overcome in 60 seconds with the strength we have together
But for now, emotional ties they stay severed
And when there's trust there'll be treats
When we funk, we'll hear beats
Tricky - Overcome
Jason 54m
Our love is like water
Pinned down and abused for being strange
Our love is no other
Than me alone, for me all day
Our love is like angels
Pinned down and abused
All over you, all over me
The sun, the fields, the sky
I've often tried to hold the sea
The sun, the fields, the tide
Live
All Over You
Jason 1h
Would you believe me when I tell you
You're the queen of my heart
Please don't deceive me when I hurt you
Just ain't the way it seems
Nirvana - Love Buzz
8h · 32
Dig
Jason 8h
Dig
We all have someone that digs at us
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone
-Incubus
Jason 1d
We were in love, successful, and happy,
We had a graphic novel series and a hit CD.

We did everything together, I stood tall beside her,
Then some insecure scientist turned on their LARGE particle collider.

Right was down, and down was blue, and blue was east,
Now she's married to another man, and I got no teeth.
Ever imagine what alternate realities might be like?
What if the large particle collider activation in 2009 mixed all the realities into one big jumble?
1d · 42
Mono No Aware
Jason 1d

In sweltering sun, love sprouting
Light rain falls
Gently nourishing

Flowering despite autumn's chill
Struggling to survive
Thriving still

Flourishing cloaked in winter's cold
Glowing
In the darkness of my soul

Warm thaw brings new growth
Humid heat inflaming
Inspiring passions oath

Fall leaves bring new tears
Discord grows only stress
A baleful blizzard nears

Such strife in spring is not the norm
Lightning racing
Lacing summer storm

With autumns leaves fall our dreams
Drowned silent
Deep in icy cold streams

Blossoms wilt as the winter sky fades
Denied warmth
Given too much shade


Life will show us incredible beauty and replace it with indescribable sadness. Impermanence is the only permanence.


© 04/17/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
2d · 195
Kintsukuroi
Jason 2d

Fragments forlorn
Harmony's halcyon healing
Fortifies Hearts

© 04/16/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
2d · 69
Catxter
Jason 2d
So my cats are watching Dexter right now...
Yeah, you heard that right.
Two of them are kinda being alpha-y to each other,
They won't hang out in here at the same time,
So I leave a show on in the other room for the odd cat out.
Right now they're watching Dexter.
So I was just thinking,
Maybe that's not such a good idea,
Cats are already a bit murderous,
Maybe I shouldn't give them any ideas...
2d · 38
Oasis
Jason 2d
I am drawn to this

Shimmering in my sight

Shinning with promise

Pool of aqueous light

Cupped hands reach out

Weary wanderer with relief awash

Dry disappointment fills my mouth

Wait- Sand!? This- This is a mirage?
© 04/16/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

😪
3d · 52
Free
Jason 3d


I have been stuck here all this time,
Tortured in heart and chained in mind,
Lost and confused, and unsure of why:
You are my spirit guide, and I yours, likewise.

My love for you was never any great mystery,
No greater than that of the tide returning to the sea,
But I lost faith in love when you lost faith in me,
Because you were my life, my heart, my eternity.

I'm not playing games, I'm getting **** off my chest,
I have no hate for you, no blame, and few regrets,
This growth, this catharsis, has been my life-long quest,
And after twenty-five years in the desert...I'm ready to rest.

I didn't waste my life, but it wasn't what it should have been,
I didn't spend it on gambling, or lechery, or a bottle of gin,
I did my fair share of losing and I had a fair number of wins,
But never did I find again, our level of soul-deep connection.

With your freedom, I can be free once again,
With your transcendence, I can finally transcend,
But without your love, without you as my friend...
It just isn't the way I'd want our story to end.


All things come to an end, yada, yada...
Information is energy.
Energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be changed.
Matter is only energy moving very, very slowly.
Why would energy bother to move so slowly anyway?
It's like there's something here worth stopping to see...

I'm sayin', do whatcha gotta do, but like, ya know, take me with you.
3d · 48
Still...Hope
Jason 3d
Waiting will get you a life of servitude to a master who doesn't know you even exist.

That being said...I still hope. If you love them, you hope.  That's life.

You lose hope sometimes, you wonder why you still hold onto it sometimes.

There's no reason to hope, other than that she's important to me.

It just doesn't matter if it hurts, it's going to hurt no matter what.

You don't have to have expectations to just...hope.
Maybe it's self-destructive, it's probably self-destructive, but that's a moot point.

Honestly, ya know what? Eff that. It is not self-destructive just because other people would rather pretend a thing didn't exist than feel pain.

Pain is growth, a catharsis that leads to healing, and not with self-deception, but by looking the truth dead in the eye.

Hell, even if you **** yourself, you stare that ****** down.  

Because the only thing you protect with self-deception is your own ignorance.
3d · 83
Hand. Stat.
Jason 3d
I miss your hand in my hand
I want your hand on my shoulder
I need your hand on my...anything
Jason 3d
The things I miss the most
From the life we never lived
3d · 51
Acceleration
Jason 3d
I supercharge every thought, every idea.
I pursue each concept and emotion to their ultimate possible conclusion(s).
I excite every particle to impossible speeds, spinning and colliding, combining and fusing.
Old painful emotions combine with new jarring thoughts and,
WHAM!
A new element is created.  
It is violent and eviscerating evolution at breakneck speeds.
And it never ceases.
Or slows.
It's not all bad though,
As I said, new elements are always being created,
New concepts,
Differing perspectives,
Brand-spanking-new thoughts created from the raging fires of the old.
I am far too logical to discard a thought, however painful.
It must be run through the particle accelerator,
Again and again,
Until it collides with so many other ideas
That it is completely obliterated,
By the formation of a new and superior understanding.
3d · 35
Wait
Jason 3d
Da *** is wrong with me anyway.

She cheated on me for a year, never admitted it, left after blaming me, ghosts me for months, then calls to tell me she's moving to the west coast and don't call her again, she will call me.

Then she flew off, and you guessed it, never called.

There was a plane crash all over the news the next day.  I caught the tail end of the story when I woke up that morning.  I caught the tail end of the story in the car.  I caught the tail end of the story on a TV at the store I went to.

I spent 3 ******* days thinking she was dead in a plane crash (we didn't have internet in 1996).

And she couldn't call me to tell me she was alive.  Hey, I know you worry, just wanted to say I got here ok.  ??  Nothin?  

Nothin.

And here my ******* sits, 25 ****** years later, still jumping every time the phone rings.  Still hoping.  Still dreaming.

**** waiting.
  
**** people.


4d · 39
Mobility
Jason 4d
Won't the future be nice?
So many benefits of modern technology.
You don't have to go grocery shopping,
Heck, your fridge can order for you now!
Cameras inside the washer and dryer, 'cause yeah.
You can even order casual companionship with an app.
Won't be long before we'll be able to match genomes online,
Probably interconnected with your social media and dating sites of choice,
No need to talk, or even meet, your phone just beeps and you know:
You've found the perfect mate!
Modern convenience folks, step right u-
Oh wait, no, stay home, get married right from your couch!
What's wrong you have the perfect mate, the perfect job, perfect home(s), 1.312 kids, 2.617 pets-
Love???
There's probably an app for that...
4d · 28
Stability
Jason 4d
I grew up moving from place to place,
Usually about once a year.
It is very difficult for a child to form friendships,
When they are never in the same school two years in a row.
Military brats go through this, I'm told.

My childhood was a series of disasters and moves.

Like the apartment building in Alexandria that caught on fire every other weekend.
Where my step-dad lost control of the car and tried to stop by sticking his foot out of the door.
My sister almost died from an allergic reaction to soap.
I fell off the jungle-gym and nearly bit off my lower lip.

We moved.

The townhouse in burke where my step-dad went through the sliding glass door, face-first.
Where he got Tiger, the 75 lb. German Sheppard,
Who was crazy and scared the **** out of us constantly.
Let's see what else?
I knocked my sister out of a second-story window,
Our babysitter was a ******,

We moved.

The townhouse in Fairfax where I first saw my step-dad hit my mother,
Where we lived when they divorced.
This is where we lived when the 300 lb. redneck enjoyed trying to **** me on a daily basis.
Our college student tenant had to stand up for me.

We moved.

Basically to make a long story short, not a lot of ****** stability in my childhood.

Disaster.

Move on.

Every single adult relationship continued this pattern.

Whether this is because I unconsciously seek out these situations, I don't know.

Probably.

I sometimes think that people need their disasters, so they have a reason to give up.

I am sick of disasters.
I am tired of moving on.
I am sick and tired of giving up.

And of being given up on.


5d · 36
Introspection
Jason 5d
It is a painful, strengthening, heart-breaking, uplifting, terrifying, enlightening, emptying, and fulfilling journey through horror and wonder.

Leading one inevitably towards confrontation with oneself.  

It is the path to balance.


5d · 21
Mousaphone
Jason 5d

squeak

squeak  squeak

Megaphone Clicks

I SAID:  I MISS YOU!
Jason 5d
I feel like some of these small pathetic creatures

crawling around under lash and disdain

forced to listen to droning treatises on how to fly

used to be birds
Jason 5d
Daaaaamn gurl,

You got a **** brain on you!
I'd pick you first
6d · 93
Bastard
Jason 6d
Just wanna give a shout out to my mom and dad,

Who got married a full 3 months before I was born,

But despite whose valiant efforts,

I still turned out to be a *******.


With much love and luls ❤
Jason 6d
I know, ultimately, it's true what they said,
That when it all comes down, we make our own beds,
Now we're adults, let's mess up the covers by jumping like kids,
I know we've a long way to go, but there's a life to be lived!
© 04/12/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
6d · 57
Dear Rapture
Jason 6d


Dear Rapture,

It's been so many years, I'm so sorry to intrude,
I've so many things to say, but I've no desire to be rude,
I've tried to keep me locked away, during our long interlude,
I guess I've done okay, but so much has happened, and it isn't all good.

How are you?  I hope things are well.  I think about you, you know.
What've you been up to? Do tell! I haven't heard a word since so long ago.
I don't want to renew a war, but I had to either reach out or explode,
Tact's gone right out the door, for hope our hearts had adjacent zip codes.

What ever happened to you, what did you think, I wonder constantly,
You said give you space, or was it time, or was it just a slow-burn for me?
I always gave you the benefit of the doubt, but I just don't know lately...
I toss and turn, this garden bed feels like a grave, forgotten and buried.

The distance between us is further than any airline has ever been,
I'm sure that, like me, you've felt it growing since our relationships end.
I know we both hurt, we lost so many truths in all the confusion,
And I feel like the biggest loser of all because I lost my best friend.

If I sent this letter off, tear-stained and folded into a paper plane,
If it prevailed on the Trade Wind and soared away to your windowpane,
If it tapped ever-so-lightly, would you let it in or would you refrain?
Would you turn it away, unread, to dissolve in the Cascadian rain?

Maybe I'm hoping beyond hope, a delusional version of Lion-O's sight,
I just had to try one last time before we drift off into that long goodnight,
Though I go not gently, I'm no devil and I've no desire to cause a fright,
But hell, I'd wrestle all the angels in heaven if it was a question of might.

Well, I guess there's nothing I can do but fold it up and throw it hard,
Try not to shed a rogue tear when the movie gets to that part,
And whenever the clock says 2:22, 3:38, or 11:11, I'll wish on a star,
Truly, I just want you to know I care,

I love you,
Sincerely,
From,
Afar


© 04/12/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
6d · 279
11:11
Jason 6d
Pooky,

I love you
I miss you
I want you
I need you

You are every hope
You are every dream
You are my only wish


© 04/11/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Apr 10 · 77
Dad Body
Jason Apr 10
Renegade, rebel, foul-mouthed malcontent
Abused, abandoned, discarded, youth misspent
Smoker, toker, poem-writing music maker
***-sellin', ****-it-oh-wellin', no-****-taker

I'd probably have had a criminal empire if I'd kept my course
Instead of being an estranged father and statistic of divorce
Unemployable, unstable, emotionally unavailable basket-case
Polo-shirt-khaki-wearin' fashion-victim of the corporate rat race

I coulda been a gangsta, a rocker, an actor, or even a ****-star
It woulda been easy with my childhood and my broken-*** heart
I coulda had money, mansions, cars, endless drugs, and ***-on-tap
Instead, I gave that all up for a hopeless hope and a lonely fap

I guess that sounds kinda pathetic, but even that's alright
Because it won't be long before little man yells, "Dad, let's play Fortnite!"


© 04/10/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

Let's face it, I've always had a dad body. :p
Apr 10 · 53
Stolen in Infancy
Jason Apr 10
This heartbreak was an incantation,
Rumor and influence and imitation.
Malevolent power channeled through,
Assumptions and lies deftly hewn.
Dark runes gouged into bedrock,
Strong shoulders disfigured by stony bulk.
Fault lines grinding thoughts to dust,
Eldritch-enspelled entropy engraving rust.
Mortally wounded by arrival unreported,
Time and space...     by distance distorted.
Lost and found, wreckage on stormy sea,
Seeking our love, stolen in infancy.


© 04/10/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved.
Apr 10 · 48
...Without You
Jason Apr 10
A garden trowel in a patch of irradiated weeds

An odometer in an endless maze of MickeyD's

An encyclopedia in a pawn shop full of tweakers

A love song on a boombox with broken speakers

May I present several examples of useless things with nothing to do

Now if you think those're bad, you should see what I'm like...


© 04/09/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Apr 8 · 369
Things and Stuff
Jason Apr 8
Caution: Objects in poems are deeper than they appear.

The more shallow it looks, the deeper it is.

Please wear your life vest at all times,

And may we take this moment to highly recommend the buddy system?

We happen to have one available if you are unable to locate a buddy.  😊
Apr 8 · 65
And Again
Jason Apr 8
She ghosts me in April.

No plane crash, this time, to make me think she's dead tho, she's losing her touch...

I guess I will hear from her in 25 years?

I better start saving up for that high-powered Rascal scooter.  

Maybe I'll be able to catch her next time...
I shouldn't have posted all this. Funny or not I'm not out to be mean, just feeling salty. :(
Apr 6 · 80
Waiter
Jason Apr 6
Time is always in the past

Even now

Is in the past

Now

All the years I will spend waiting

Will eventually be one with

All the years I have spent waiting

Still, I will wait

Very Zen...

But it's not because I am patient

I am not a patient boy  hums Fugazi

Or some studied guru or master of meditation

Nor am I Rip Van Winkle, for that matter

But if you ask me if I'm waiting, the answer is as it has always been:

Yeah, I'm waiting....


For you
Apr 6 · 56
Closer...
Jason Apr 6
Are you afraid to get close to me,

Because I'm not how you expected I'd be:

Because I'm not what you told yourself to see?

Could it be that you avoided remembering me?
Apr 6 · 68
Worsed
Jason Apr 6
Though my heart was dead long ago,

This ******,

Through my chest,

It is as the first.

Though I knew long ago,

The break of trust,

Denies me rest,

Heart smoldering, mind cursed.
©03/25/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved.
Apr 6 · 62
Fire
Jason Apr 6
She set me on fire and asked, "Why's it so hot in here."
© 03/01/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Apr 6 · 123
Heartless
Jason Apr 6
She grabbed me by the heart, pulled me close,

and said, "You don't have a heart."
© 03/01/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Apr 6 · 65
Heartless Too
Jason Apr 6
She ripped my heart from my chest, dashed it upon the ground,

and asked, "How can you be so heartless?"
© 03/01/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Apr 5 · 576
Romeo and Juliet
Jason Apr 5
Ya know...

If that most famous pair of star-crossed lovers had only possessed cell phones,

Things might have gone much differently.


Apr 5 · 109
Samson and Delilah
Jason Apr 5
In the story, Samson is said to lose his power when his hair is cut, breaking his vow.

I think he was wrong about his hair, and the actual source of his power was his love.

I think he lost his power the moment he realized Delilah had betrayed him.

Not when she betrayed him, nor when she cut his hair, but only once he realized what she had done, see?

So at the end of the story, when Samson gets his strength back, it happens not because he grows his hair, but because he forgives Delilah.

His hair was only a metaphor for his faith (in God, love, women, and Delilah in particular)...

Anyway, I'm growing my hair out.


*Edit - I wanted it to be clear this was about forgiveness, not betrayal. <3

Disclaimer: I'm not religious, but I grew up going to church and Sunday school, etc.
Apr 4 · 76
Lunatic Flux
Jason Apr 4

You enchanted the moon, didn't you?

Or bribed her?  Maybe you promised her a star or two?

She hunts me with Orion's bow, pacing behind shadowed cloud,

My celestial stalker ridin' low, warily wrapped in misty shroud.

She whispers stark and yet, soft as a breeze on an April afternoon,

Press on now, my pet.  You've done so well, we'll sleep again soon,

But we've a fortnight to go if we're to come full circle by month's end.

So many dreams still to sow... To reap those lupine howls once again.

She waxes and I wane, she mystifies with madness then soothes me sane.

Serenity to insanity, delirious depravity to moon-magicked majesty,

A cosmic clockwork cycle muddling my mind with lunar gravity.

She pushes me to righteous malice and pulls me to solstice solace,

She masters tides in her caprice, what hope has a malcontent apprentice?

© 04/04/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

There's a bit of the moon in everything I say and do,
I shouldn't be surprised she reminds me of you.

Just an interesting note: I was inspired to write this last night as I was watching the moon from the window at my desk.  Today, I was wondering if the moon was actually anywhere near Orion...

Turns out Orion is just to the east, but the moon was in the house of Libra when I wrote this, which is friggin cool.  :p
Apr 2 · 38
A Million Miles
Jason Apr 2


It's not an altar

If I don't worship upon it

(Even if I still whisper prayers)


It's not a pedestal

If you don't stand atop it

(Only, I still look up to you)


It's not a quest

If you're no princess

And I'm no hero

(Yet, I still seek out dragons)


It's not a dream

If there's no hope

(And I still wake a million miles from you)


© 04/02/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Apr 1 · 73
Resistance
Jason Apr 1
Loving you is like playing tug-o-war,

Except the rope is a lightning bolt.

❤⚡❤
Mar 29 · 55
Flashback
Jason Mar 29
They say one's life is supposed to flash before one's eyes prior to the moment of death.

When I go, I hope I have time to get to the part where we met...

I wanna fall in love with you all over again.
Mar 28 · 110
Cosmic Music
Jason Mar 28
You hear it when you're not listening,

You see it when you stop looking,

You know it when you forget to think.

It resonates in the sounds of every day,

It dances among the scenes of your life,

It lingers at the edge of your thoughts but is never missing.

You sing along without knowing the words,

You dance without feeling the beat,

You know its meaning without defining it.

It is the song at the center of the universe,

The shared blood flowing between all things,

Every rock and tree, every child of starry sea,

You know it by heart.


©03/28/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved.
Mar 25 · 36
That Friggin Clock...
Jason Mar 25
looks at clock

2:20

phew, nothin

2 minutes before...

wait, ****

looks at clock

2:37

phew, nothin

wait, 1 min before 2:38, but that's nothin, it would have to be 3:38

phew

wait, that's 1:01 before 3:38

****
Maybe I assign too much weight to random stuff...  I don't know.  Am I the only one who thinks like this? Ugh.
Mar 24 · 321
Reflections on Water
Jason Mar 24
I want your tears to rain on me

To pour down my cheeks

I want to feel the salt of your pain

Scouring away wrinkled years

I want to drown in the truth of you

Parching tongue, renewing thirst

I want to savor the sweetness of love

Quenching bitterness
© 03/24/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Mar 19 · 63
Next Best Thing
Jason Mar 19
Next best thing to crying...

Telling someone how you feel.

Next best thing to dying...

When they don't believe you're real.
© 03/19/21 Jason R. Michie  All Rights Reserved
Mar 10 · 395
2BH
Jason Mar 10
2BH
Expecting my hands to be soft,

Is understandable,

Not seeing the scars there,

That's classic.
© 03/08/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Mar 8 · 168
Rise
Jason Mar 8
They'll tell you how beautiful are your wings,

While they bind your pinions and strip your feathers.

"So graceful and so precious!  Such lofty, ethereal things,"

The words like rusty chains, cracked leather-sentiment tethers.

They'll tell you, "Rise above the sorrow, fly from the pain,"

After they teach you to clip your own wings so you won't fall,

And when the confusion sets in they'll be the first to tell you you're sane.

"People can't fly," they'll say, and point to the wings nailed to their wall.
© 03/08/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

I try to express the things that I think people need,
I don't write to try and make someone bleed,
Heart to pen, mind to screen,
I just wanna use my gift to help people see,
It's not about ***, race, religion, or creed,
It's all about healing, and love, and faith, and belief.
Mar 8 · 140
Quills
Jason Mar 8
Downy pen, as light as day

Well, it is...

On the one side anyway
© 03/08/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
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