He is my stairway to heaven
And shackles to hell.
His arms serve as both a home
And a prison cell.

Have you played hide and seek with death?
It's eery shadows lurking just out of sight.
It's skeleton fingers grazing your spine,
Sending terror into your being.
Just as you think you're winning
It turns out the lights.
And then you will see it's face.

Illness.
Disease.
They walk in your life
with no remorse.
No mercy.
You become familiar with the feeling
The feeling of things inside you
Things you patiently await to be removed.
You didn't notice them before,
But now you know
And they torture you from the inside out.

It still hurts,
Just the way it did when you first left.
But I have come to love that pain.
The pit it forms within my chest.
It's how I know it was real.

I want someone who paints my heart
like an artists paints the sky,
with hidden tales of summer nights
and the soft silence of winter,
every detail intentional and beautiful,
the little imperfections that give it character,
the smudges from the moments of frustration,
the glow of the sun that burned hotter than any flame,
that's how my heart aches to be painted.

When he left I thought he took part of me with him,
but he didn't.
He gave me something no one can take,
he showed me what love is supposed to be like.
I look at our old photos,
I do not cry.
Instead I smile for the good times
and forgive the bad.
No matter how short lived,
he gave me pure happiness.
And one day, I will once again find that.

There comes a moment in your life
When everything good seems to crumble.
Don't run from the pain,
EMBRACE IT.
It means it meant something,
It means you got to feel something worth missing.
It's what shapes you into the person you were meant to become.

Im captivated by you,
Entranced by the beautiful flaws
Of your perfect imperfection.
The way your eyes lay upon me
And how your words delve into my mind,
Washing away my fears.
The way in which your lips graze my skin
And your hands caress my body,
Removing my insecurities.
The way your smell calms me
And the beat of your heart is like song,
Drowning out the worries of the day
The way that you love me
And your adoring smile,
Making me fall endlessly in love with you

Life is messy.
There's no black and white,
Only whether to give in
Or whether to fight.
Just a person
Trying to survive.
Hoping one day
You might thrive.

Her lover was faithful
But it was not kind.
It took all of her dreams,
And left them behind.

Now she's withering,
Like a dying flower.
The addictive white dust,  
Stealing her by the hour.

Her family disowned her ,
Her house reposessed.
But her white dusty lover,
Oh,  it loved her the best.

He sat under a hazy mooned sky.
Mental snapshots
Of the sad layered stories of life
Crept into his haunted dreams.
The inner torture waking him,
His nerves pricking to life.  
A sickening wave of dispair
hit him like a freight train.
Fear had found him.
The shadowy figure of his past,
Swiftly approaching,
Only to send him into sinking depression.
There was no light.
Within the darkness
He became aquainted with his demons.
A war against himself broke loose.
He fought until the bitter end.
Then the sky exploded,
And he was finally at peace.

Youre a cliff hanger
At the end of the book
Making me hate you
Yet beg for more

Youre the ocean
Beneath the ridge
First Catching
Then drowning me
In an endless pit

You are the lightning
In the night sky
Illuminating my life
Then burning me down

You are these things
Because once upon a time
You were the place
The north star led to.
You were my home.

i don't see it in your eyes
the love you felt for me
they are like a dark abyss
empty
i don't feel it in your caress
the warmth of our souls together
its cold and lonely here
i don't hear it in your words
flowing gently like a river
they've become roaring storms
i don't smell it in the air
the scent of our intertwined bodies
its the smell of loves decay

My days mesh
There isn't a beginning
Nor and end.
The monotonous motions
Contorted and bent
There was once love
I don't know where it went

I reach for your hand
But cringe at its touch
Two broken people
Not amounting to much
Heart wanting to forgive
But is in the mind's clutch
Giving nothing but love
But receiving a punch.

I've been kept in the dark
your shadow lingers
Taunting my thoughts
Eating me alive
Even in the dark, there's light.
I peered through
And did not like what I saw
But that was just the beginning.
As more light was shed,
The pain became raw,
Torturing agony
I could no longer endure.
When the darkness was gone
there was nothing left of me
What once was my life source
Has finally killed me.
I am gone
There's nothing left.

He kills me
But he saves me
He hates me
But he loves me
He empties me
But he makes me whole
He hurts me
But he's the reason I smile
He breaks me
But he puts me back together
Everyday.
A never ending cycle.
But one day...
There will be nothing left.

A shadow has fallen
The light engulfed by darkness.
Struggling to breathe
As the wind steals the air from your helpless lungs
Tiny nails carve your heart
From the loss of a loved one
Your head throbbing
It's filled with agony.
You feel as though there's no escape
From the thoughts that torment you
Your screams become whispers
No longer able to speak.
Your eyes exuding despair
Just wanting it to end
But that's wishful thinking
It's a vicious cycle
It will come again.

Hello moon,
With your luminous light
Youre existence so peaceful
Taking my fears
Dragging them out of the night
Storing my darkness in your shadows
As our demons are aquainted
You caress my body in your calm
Silencing my worries,
The thoughts vividly painted.
A smile placed upon my face
Now I'm dancing with my angels
Beautiful and serene
Is heaven a real place?  
The nights almost over
It's coming to an end
It's time to say goodnight
Sweet Dreams my dear friend

I am dying.
emotionally.
My heart cracks,
with each passing thought
My lungs feel like collapsing
From the broken breathes I take
My body a numb corpse
With so much life in its mind
But no,  not the good kind,
The kind you find in the dark
In your most dreaded nightmares
A tragic past or lost love?
I shed countless tears as I lay awake
Nothing feels real
Words, smiles, trust?
It's all shattered and fake.
Goodbye happiness,  
It was nice while it lasted,  
But the darkness is reclaiming me
It's become my home,
It's where I'm fastened

There are tears in my eyes
Threatening to spill.
An empty,  broken part of me
I desperately need to fill
Torn between love and hate
My world is crumbling
Is there a better fate?
My voice cracking
With each word spoken
So many thoughts attacking
My already feeble heart
Feeling so incomplete.
We're on the verge of falling apart.
It's killing me inside
The secret you
The one you try to hide
You're drifting away
Like the oceans tide
I no longer have words to say

I'm broken.
The world around me is shattering
All of the beautifully painted lies
Strung up and clattering
The noise is more than I can take
He used to fix me
When no one else could
Now even he breaks me
My heart once so happy has darkened
By his words I'm no longer softened
Turned into a girl
who is hard and bitter
No longer longs
for gentle words spoken from his lips
A happiness once had
Now fading like passing ships.
I am broken and no one can fix me.

Heart confused,
Brain amused,
Hands trembling,
Memories crumbling
Yet my soul lays untouched.
Bones cracking,
Words attacking,
Thoughts burned
From what I learned
yet my body is still intact.