I didn't know love would be this hard,
I didn't really know what I was getting in to
I didn't know I'd let down my guard
I didn't know my heart would change hue
I didn't know about the painful numb
I didn't really know that I couldn't take it
I didn't know I'd be so laughably dumb
I didn't know I couldn't handle each hit
I didn't know what was expected of me
I didn't really know how to take that news
I didn't know that I would feel so free
I didn't know I'd fall in love with my muse
Love potions before their time
Twelve gold teeth soaked in lime
Eye of newt, and toe of frog
Devils dance at every chime
Candle wax on cheap moquette
Thirteen chicken feet for regret
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog
Ink on skin to make me forget
Ill mind, brimstone and hate
Eleven broken hearts on slate
Adder's fork, blind-worm's sting
Cursed by this cruel, cruel fate
Love like ghosts, forked tongue tie
Thirty hexes to say my goodbye
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing
Don't leave, I'll never know why
He loves you in that hidden space
Quiet between sea crabs
And stars, drift wood
Outlines your porcelain face
The rips in your faded jeans
Spanish frills on the top
Smiling eyes and cigarettes
Director to my cut scenes
He sees you're freezing cold
But burns on the sand
Does his melting hand reach
that heart broken gold?
He yearns in the morning break
Through nettles and wind
Constant thoughts of sin
Black burning eyes, fiery lake
He knows you need little
You make it seem easy
Yet he claws at your neck
Clay tiger baked brittle
He misses your hands much,
Your glass voice and ideas
His heart belongs to you
Red apples and touch
God what a gloomy day, makes me want to climb under a blanket with you. This is the third installment of my cheesy bottle messages. I wonder if you think this is romantic? Or if it even matters? I dunno, I thought it was a cool idea at the time. It's weird knowing that we've both been in this exact spot, but so far away from each other, I was scared I would be depro here, but I can feel you here, and it makes me happy.
This place is beautiful, and I can picture you sitting on this ledge with me. Hair all over the show, big smile on your face.. sunglasses on. I wish I could travel with you, or I'd rather say: I can't wait to travel with you. You're the only person I can talk to without saying a word. Just moving around the earth with you. I picture us in every old ass couple I see here, happy wrinkled travelers just doing their thing. It's so fucking hot here.
I think I'm supposed to declare my undying love to you in these messages, make it all romantic for some fisherman dude to pick it up, probably not able to read English, and chuck it in the bin.. but I suppose it's the thought that counts right? I've been drinking in the sun, come do it with me.
Where should I put this heart? Where do I go from here? I'm scared of little, but fear so much when it comes to this. Confidence can only take me that far. Soon I will be old, bald, fat and wrinkled. Will you still show me the same smile? The same touch? Or will it disappear? will you remember me when you leave? Will it tear your heart in two when you do? Im never going to stop loving you, my muse, my lover, my soul mate. I'm scared of little, but fear so much.
Maybe you don't care what I look like, or perhaps I've changed you in a way you cannot forget. Much like the tattoos on our bodies. I don't know, I don't fear what I will lose now, it's what I'll lose tomorrow. I don't want to lose you, sure.. you're going, but I don't see that as losing you. I see it as a timer, some giant fucking clock in my head ticking. I will see you again, but maybe it's too late? I'm always questioning everything because I feel I have to. Because this might not even exist, maybe it's all in my head.
I leave this message here for you because this is where I thought of you the most. What are you doing, where are you? Do you miss me like I miss you? I don't know how to write the feelings I have for you, these are things I can only show you. I love you, I'm in love with you, and I'm not going to let go.
I'm apparently in the city of romance, the city of love, ironically the city is pretty much a sinking island.. cold gloomy and rainy, and old as fuck. I stole a lock from a restaurant here, stuck it on the gate of an old bridge, apparently that's what lovers do here, so I just set up for when we come here together. My city of love? Joburg, South Africa, a place where I met you, a place where I secretly fell in love with you before I even got to know you. I knew you were dangerous, I knew you were fire, but I couldn't help myself, I just kept looking. (You know how I am with fire) I knew I was terrible for you too. But the more I got to know you the more I wanted to have you.
These people don't know how romantic it is to see you in a dirty parking lot at 5 in the morning, with hot chocolate and a box of smokes. The soft touches in public, the surprise orgasms outside of casinos. Nothing compares to our secret romance. Nothing can give me that feeling back, that heart stopping rush of blood to the head.
Maybe the most romantic city of lurv is cape town? Soft embrace on a couch in a high ceiling office, while people get drunk on the street. Dinner for two when we slip away from the crowd.. fucking on the kitchen sink. Maybe I have no idea what romance is. Maybe romance is in this bottle.