when you are a woman
you bleed the burden of being one
literally within every month
and metaphorically every single day
you polish the plates clean
you cook the cake delectable
you plan the garden to grow plants
you figure out your figures
you beg to be believed
you serve to be esteemed
you scream to be heard
to be seen, to be listened,
to speak, to be free
you consume the rage given
passed and inherited
genetically and immanently
you are born
yet you give birth too
being a woman is a revolution

i wish to call you mine
not because i want to have you
nor i see you as an object i must own
neither as a possession to wield

i wish to call you mine
because you are mine to cherish,
mine to  care for, mine to think of,
and mine to love.

i have skimmed every encyclopedia,
have gone through to limits of every book in biology,
and even went on to read depths of psychology,
but i have yet to find an answer
as to why a father could hurt his own daughter

the hand has twenty-seven bones.
four to promise you i'll be there always,
four to wear the ring you gave me,
four to touch your lips when you're sleeping,
four to feel how long your lashes are,
three to show you that i'll be okay,
eight to have your face on my palm,
and all twenty-seven to hold your hand.

i am just a vessel,
a rotting human body.
who's always longed to be cradled,
but I have nobody.

i am just a vessel,
a display of pure loneliness.
who's desire is all to be nestled,
despite all the emptiness.

i am just a vessel,
nothing more than that.
has always been the lesser,
waiting for the time I'll rot.

i do believe you
when you told me about that lie
acted as if that was true
never will I ask why

i will believe you
even if i know its false
even if it'll make me blue
I'll believe it all

i still believed you
though you lied so many times
but in my eyes and view
these are not your crimes

i believe you
in every single way
like a fool, i do

why do i keep holding on
on something so uncertain
uncertain if you really want me
me who only knows how to hope

why do I like you
you do not even notice
my longing stares and glances
glances that I've hidden so long

why don't you choose me
me who kept on waiting
waiting for something uncertain
uncertain as you are

the things im willing to let go,
just so you can know
my feelings and how I desire
to be with you, I would not tire

I tried so many ways
despite the mights and mays
so that we could look eye to eye
won't you ask me why?

i know you have somebody
I know its her body
I know its not me
and it will never be

how do i undo
the feelings i have for you
when clearly you got no clue
that these are all true

how do i undo
to cut myself from blue
though this ain't new
i wanna get over you

i write too many poems for you
ones i assure you don't know of
and you won't even read it
for the existence is beyond your knowledge

i write too many poems for you
ones i can't even read
it's just so hard to believe
that it's all about the same thing

i write too many poems for you
ones my hands just type without cue
how i mindlessly formulate it
in all honesty, i have no clue

i write too many poems for you
at one point i wish you knew
but I'm contented that you don't
for i know nothing would change

i write too many poems for you
but we're not on the same line
nor on the same stanza
neither in the same poem

i write too many poems for you
but it's time to stop now
it's tiring, don't you think?
to write, without a reader.

maybe if you didn't give any hint
like that time you liked my new tint
and when you gave me my favorite mint
i just wish you didn't

maybe if you treated others the same
like how it's only me that can tame
your only light and burning flame
so that's how it became

maybe if you were careful
and kind of less of a fool
a little more truthful
just thinking, it's wishful

maybe if i wasn't naive
for like a child, i believed
that you would not leave
however, i was deceived

casually crashing in your arms
as i feel my head go light.
your heart which only warms
when it's me in your sight.

as mysterious as the moon
you're a moment that ends so soon
still waiting even at noon
in that summer at june

your shadow upon the night
blinded my very sight
and in return i gave my light
though i know its quite not right

in dim light they both embraced
like it's their last, like they're in haste
the moon which the light chased
in this moment, they both graced

so I wonder
if you think of me
just like how you're in my thoughts
so constantly.

lived in his heart is this ounce of pain
every moment just seemed to pass behind his back
victory was all in vain
igniting the fire within his world of black

at last, humanity's strongest appeared
cradled in his palm are the tears he hid
keen as the blades that all have feared
ending it with his own blood to bleed

reaching with no one to depend
meek as he absorbed the reality
as he asks himself if this is the end
not yet for he is the strongest of all humanity

why did you abandon me?
in times where i was in need
where all but my liberty
was taken indeed

why must you abandon?
as you left all the worries
now im all alone
hoping for the apologies

if this was just a simple fancy,
how come it lasted years
where you're the only one I see
albeit you've caused these tears?

"do you love me?" i asked with utmost uncertainty
he looked at me as he said, "sometimes."
unsettled, unsecured and in limbo, "no guarantee."
he repeated, "no guarantee... at all times."

the moment you slipped out of my hands
was the moment I regret to let you go
despite I only loved you once
but so much so.

I'll never be the wondrous kid
that you once knew
whose feelings you try to hid
who was naive with no clue

I'll never be the child
that you once spoke of highly
in your eyes I'm exiled
as I left quietly

I'll never be the daughter
that you once molded
whom you planned to hold forever
in your palms, i was guarded

I'll never be the listener
that they once relied on
in their sights I'm a betrayer
the grudges they have are a ton

I'll never be the friend
whom they once smiled with
for the ties are loose ends
because of what I did

I'll never be the shoulder
that they once held to
so who would hold her
when she is blue?

I'll never be the person
that you were once fond
whom you paid much attention
that these feelings spawned

I'll never be her
whom you once loved so much
like your favorite sweater
that you wear with no match

I'll never be enough
for them and for you,
indeed, it's tough
now that i have no one to hold onto

i don't wanna be your friend
for I wanna hold your hand
as genuine as i intend
as long as i planned

i don't wanna be your friend
and stay on that lane
where we both would mend
the gore and the pain

i don't wanna be your friend
but i can't say it
for it's hard to comprehend
as i still can't admit

i don't wanna be your friend
i don't wanna see that smile
as something just for the end
i'll wait even if it takes a while

i don't wanna be your friend
i wanna be something more
now, i can't pretend
you are what i wish for

but if you ask me why
why friendship isn't enough
i'm just gonna lie
maybe tell the truth or half

hungry for power
while the poor starve from hunger
the rich shall cower

sa pagnakaw ng tingin,
atensyon mo ay bumaling.
hindi mo ba pansin?
malas ko, sayo pa ako nahumaling.

habang minamasdan ang buwan
na humimlay sa tapat ng araw na sikat,
tanging nasabi ko na lang ay ewan
at lumaki na lalo ang agwat.

kahit asamin ko na maging akin ka,
ipasasalo na lang lahat sa hangin.
walang ibang salita kundi baka,
nararamdamang dapat itapon na sa bangin.

kaya't sa paglaya ng buwan
sa araw na maliwanag.
maging akin ka man,
mahirap mabanaag.

the little fragments of our memories
fills me up as its hard to miss.

the silent confirmation only we can understand;
reminds me of how you hold my hand.

when we meet eye to eye,
its like looking at the wide blue sky.

how you utter with such softness
makes my heart speak though it cannot express.

however a clandestine should not last;
it must always stay in the past.

a secret like this should go astray
for it will perish as it's fey.

nevertheless, I'll still cherish
every moments even if I have to be selfish.

once again i fell into the pit
as the darkness vibrantly hit
my consciousness as well as my wit
were taken as i was forced to submit

once again it swallowed me
chains on my wrist as I'll never be free
vision slowly becomes hazy
please let this not be my reality

once again i screamed so loud
no one heard me, not even the crowd
speaking silently with no sound
my eyes seek for the blue sky amidst the cloud

once again I'm in this pit
but these feelings i cannot admit
agony filled me as it seethe
once again the darkness bit

ang mabagal na takbo ng ambon
'tila ba ay may ibang pahiwatig
katawan ay unti-unting inahon
sapagkat sayong mata ay naantig.

sa bilis ng bugso ng bagyo
na nagpaikot sa aking tingin,
kusang pumunta patungo sayo
at sa balikat mo ako ay 'yong diniin.

mumunting butil ng luha ang umagos
habang yakap ang tanging inalay.
naisin mang sumigaw ngunit paos
tanging sa hawak mo lamang ako hihimlay

kaya't sa huling patak ng rumaragasang ulan,
hinanap kita pero huli na ang lahat.
para kang tubig ambon na sa akin lamang dumaan,
matamis sa una ngunit sa huli'y umalat.

so i sat there as always,
across the road near the railways,
i keep looking back as i silently hope
while thinking of cutting ties and rope

within my reach i extend my hand
i look around til i reach the land
quietly sighing as i realised
i was often the fool, never the wise

so at 1 am in the bright city lights
with unending lengths of every heights
i yearn for you, i long for you
in all the lies, this is what's true

the cold that shivered through out my body
as i heard steps i remember clearly
you stopped me from glancing through an embrace
this very moment i will never ever waste

i was lost and you're aware
i know for you looked into these eyes
with such longing glance and stare
we both understood our truths and lies

you're a mystery and we both know it
I am as well but I'll never submit
we both question our very existence
for that, I say good riddance

in actuality, I do not want to bother
but the curiosity makes me think harder
are you feeling the same way as I am?
maybe not, maybe you're just like them

so I try to tell myself perhaps it's just overwhelming
the crippling feeling of mystery is seething
though it's not my first time to encounter this,
at the end, will I still take the risk?

I always wonder why by the end of the month
Every smell changes like seasons fall into place
How today would smell sappy and fresh
But tomorrow it’ll be sugary and sweet

Once, I saw you changing it
I asked why you do that
You smiled and handed it to me as I sniff it,
“Nothing really lasts long.”

Whenever I get a sniff of this it reminds me of that place
I’d always go at the back seat or beside you
But now you’re gone it’s never the same
For I never experienced being beside you again

Now, I get why you change it every month,
For even the pleasant smell of an air freshener is temporary,
Despite of its strong and rich scent
There’ll be a time it needs to be replaced

Soft and musky
Clean and cool
Mild and delicate
The scents you always loved

So as I change my car freshener,
I still wonder,
If you were here by my side,
Would you be the one to change it every end of the month?

as the little bird tries to fly,
it explored the very sky,
with her wings waving so high,
with the joy she cry

as the little bird tries to sing,
she sang so loud hoping one could hear a thing,
she waved again her little wing,
little did they know she was yelling

as the little bird tries to speak,
no one wants to hear for she's so meek
everyone thought it was just a trick
but they can't see the tears on her cheek

as the little bird tries to escape
she tries to fit in any shape
with her wings she casually drape,
her little body she gently scrape

as the little bird tries to cry
she began to look at the sky
is she here to live or to die
no one really knows why

im tired of failing people,
so exhausted in causing trouble
so i wonder and think continually
am i of value really?

im tired of being a disappointment
so full of regrets and resentment
how i wish im such importance
atleast just once

i just need a little rest
a week or so would suffice
no time to be pressed
give myself a time to realize

let me figure things out
there's a lot going around in my mind
let the season be in drought
i'll see what i can find

go away for now
what i need is no one's company
i may have no idea how
but let me rest harmoniously

dear anxiety, when will you leave me?
all my thoughts have gone wary
even my vision's kinda blurry
hear me out and save me hurry

dear anxiety, why are you here?
creeping me out so sheer
you won't get another tear
is anyone ever near?

dear anxiety, what do you want?
still in my dreams you do your haunt
tell it to me and i shall grant
even so, no one hears my rant

dear anxiety, who must i call?
though in the end it's me who will fall
surely you have taken its toll
when will they see it all?

dear anxiety, how are you?
so good at keeping me blue
remind me that this reality is true
those who see it are only few

it's funny how i remember you in any way possible,
and when I do,
i realize you're irreplaceable,
how i wish i am too.

there's this time i heard your favorite song,
i reminisce how you'd repeatedly say you love it,
and when i do, i listen for it so long,
suddenly, the sadness just hits.

i even recall the moments when you get all my joke,
remembering that my humor is not something anyone can perceive,
and when i do, i just laugh and croak.
it's sad that you just had to leave.

i think of the time when you first heard my voice,
you kept on teasing how i sounded so cute,
but now that you're gone i have nothing to rejoice.
instantly, everything just turns mute.

do you remember when i tried not paying attention to you?
when i keep leaving you on read?
i was just so scared that you'll go and leave me out of the blue,
funny cause now that's what happened.

and i still recall when we play this certain game,
i'd be the one to start it but I always forget to join so I would be shocked.
now, without you, it is not the same.
cause without you, everything just stopped.

you keep on reminding me to remember,
so i try my best to recall.
i know for a fact that you'll never be back again ever,
but I just wanna say, I remember it all.

pagod na ang aking puso,
sa pagbubukas ng nararamdaman.
kaya't sa susunod ay ako naman ang magiging tuso,
baka kahit papaano'y biglang gumaan.
ilang beses kong tinanong kung bakit,
bakit walang maibigay na sagot?
bakit parang sa akin lamang masakit?
ayokong makaramdam ng galit o poot.
ngunit kaysa salita,
ang tanging sumagot ay 'yong aksyon.
at 'tila parang isang balita,
nabaling ang aking atensyon,
sa iba mo na pala sinasabi ang nararamdaman mo,
may iba ka na palang sinasabihan ng paborito **** banda,
pati na rin ang paboritong kanta mo,
di ka naman nagsabi, sana manlang ako'y naging handa.
wala ka manlang paalam,
ni hindi rin nagbigay ng huling pangungusap.
hindi man lang nabigyan ng sagot ang isip kong kumakalam,
hanggang sa huli ako pa rin ang nakikiusap.
parang tangang naghihintay ng 'yong kasagutan,
pero wala na pala dapat akong hintayin.
sa akin na lang pala dapat 'tong mga katanungan,
dahil kahit minsa'y di ka naman naging akin.

"TAHIMIK!" sigaw ng mga nasa itaas,
mga taong gumagawa ng batas,
ngunit ang hustisya'y hindi patas,
'pagkat sa kanila ang batas ay may butas.

"TAHIMIK!" sigaw ng mga may kapangyarihan,
mga taong inaasaahang maging huwaran,
sa panahon na sila'y ating kinakailangan,
ang tanging naitatanong ay "saan?"

"TAHIMIK!" sigaw ng mga mapagmanipula,
mga taong ginagawang hanapbuhay ang pulitika,
pondong mga winawaldas at nawawalang parang bula
ang mga sagot ay tanging paghuhula.

"TAHIMIK!" sigaw ng mga ayaw sa kritisismo,
mga takot sa hinaing at nagrereklamo,
mga tutang kinain ng koloniyalismo,
sa ibang bayan sila ay tila maamo.

ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng pagtatahimik,
patuloy kang umimik,
sa hustiya at paglaban ay maging sabik,
sa mga mapanakot huwag magpapitik.

ipagpatuloy ang pagiingay,
sa masa ika'y sumabay,
magising ka sa iyong malay,
pagkamakabayan huwag sanang mawalay.

huwag **** hayaang kunin ang boses natin,
'pagkat ang pag-aaklas ay pilit na isinalin-salin,
mag-salita ka pa rin,
hindi lang para sa'yo kundi para rin sa akin.

ialay ang mo ang salita mo sa mamayan,
ikaw ang maging tunay na huwaran,
susunod na henerasyon iyong ipasan,
mag-ingay sa kahit anong paraan.

"TAHIMIK!" ani ng taong bayan,
sawa na sa pagmamanipula na naghahari-harian.
"TAHIMIK!" ani ng mga mamamayan,
tandaan na laging buksan ang mata at isipan.

i wanna get mad
and curse you so bad
you vanished all of a sudden
now my heart's all harden

i wanna get angry
but if I hear atleast just one sorry
it's more than enough
for my heart isn't that tough

i wanna be ******
for all these feelings i have risked
however, when it comes to you
i don't even know what's true

i wanna be happy
but without you it's all just lonely
so come to me,
for when its you, i'll always be ready

you're like a ray of sunshine
a beam that steadies my heart 'til I'm fine
a someone that always holds me on line
in my head, you are mine

although i **** you so often
you always make my heart soften
still, i can't tell you this, i said again
so I'm just gonna write my feelings out with a pen

sa garagal na takbo ng buhay,
bakit nga ba kapag ikaw ang kasabay
bumibilis ang lahat
kahit hindi naman dapat?

amidst where I was lost,
you existed beneath the hue.
soon, I hope our lives will cross.
this time, I won't let go of you.

i tried to search you from the obviousness
with the help of the memories I've gathered
but all I am is helpless
perhaps, my memory is all withered

i tried to find you with the clues you have given
all what you had left I tried using
but now even the odds have turned even
still, there is not much finding

even if I won't find you
remember that I tried
though I'm not sure if what we had was true
remember, I'll always be by your side

i liked how i opened you
from the depths within our small world
how i pushed you out of the blue
now, nothing is blurred

i adore how you speak with so little words
from the way you choose the phrases you tell
how one word from you i instanly get absurd
now, i realized, i have fell

i love how you remember the smallest of the things
from my strange fascinations to my ordinary repulsion
how you remind me of my often mood swings
now, everything's just a memory fraction

i liked how you opened me from my own
i adored how you can have such patient with me
i loved how you always get me in any tone
now, I'm letting you free.

maybe you don't really care at all
indeed, I'm one to blame
end this to forget the fall
lost is myself from all this game

i knew from the first time i saw you,
tamed by the crimson eyes and its hue.
amidst the cold stare you have given,
cunningly, i see the emotions hidden.

heaven has its own way of showing,
i believe it just by seeing.
unbeknownst under those cold-blooded eyes,
cunningly, i see the emotions rise.

haunting me from the depth within,
igniting the curiosity that is seething.
hollowed, i tried reaching you,
and still, you grabbed me out of the blue.

your eyes had always guided me.
unconsciously, I follow that beady sight.
they allow me to see,
the purest of the night.

your lips had always guide my move
unknowingly, I obey your delicate brim.
they allow me to prove
that this world is not so grim.

thus, I shall always seek
that face of yours so I'll be guided.
without you, I surely will be weak.
however, our world now is divided.

too good to be true,
sensations i feel with you.
save me, i beg you.

known to all that he had lost,
all that is valuable within him.
kneeling down in pure exhaust.
and now, cutting emotions in his world so dim.

shush the wind for its noise,
hear his heart wince in pain.
imagining their voice,
hear the cry of the rain.

at last, he showed the emotions.
turning his back on the facade he shows.
arguably the man showed no motions,
keeping the tears that continually flows.

etched in his heart is the still of mourning and grieving.

i have a lot to think about
like why are kettles stout?
many hesitations and doubt
perhaps I'm just doing this for clout

men were terrified,
of the power females held
thus, women belied